WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME???!!

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because...

God hates you.
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Gypsy curse.
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Leperchans.
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Muppets. F*#$ing Muppets.
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Total votes : 18

WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME???!!

Postby Grabmygoblin on Mon Aug 02, 2004 5:21 am

so I didn't get any breakfast this morning. naturally by 9 my stomach is rumbling and I need something to hold me until lunch. so, I shimmy on over to the vending machines next door. I need something filling... something filling... ruffled chips are filling, right?
so I punch in "B2"
eee-eee-eee the bag stops.
*twitch* I put in another 75 cents, and punch in B2 again, this time
eee-eee-eee both bags drop down.
I grab both and try to hide one so people don't think I'm a pig. I shimmy on back to my desk and sit down. I throw one bag of chips into my backpack for tomorrow and open up the other. I start typing and munching, typin and munchin typin and munchin... say, these chips are stale... the date is ok.... type type type type... yep pretty stale... I wonder if could get a refund... type type type... yep sta-OHCRAPONAFUCKINGMOLDLYCRUSTTHESECHIPSARESWARMINGWITHDEADANTS!!!!
...
...
...yee-uup.
...pretty stale.
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Postby JexKerome on Mon Aug 02, 2004 6:39 am

I feel your pain, girl.
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Re: WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME???!!

Postby Rkolter on Mon Aug 02, 2004 7:19 am

grabmygoblin wrote:OHCRAPONAFUCKINGMOLDLCRUSTTHESECHIPSARESWARMINGWITHDEADANTS!!!!
...
...
...yee-uup.
...pretty stale.


So where's the pink panther?

dead-ant, dead-ant, dead-ant dead-ant dead-ant dead-ant deadANT!

... sorry, that's a really crummy joke.
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Postby Skylark King on Mon Aug 02, 2004 7:56 am

Both bags or just the one?
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Postby Phact0rri on Mon Aug 02, 2004 8:00 am

could be worse... they could be live ants. or even... live fire ants....
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Postby Rkolter on Mon Aug 02, 2004 8:31 am

Hey, it could have been a live mouse. Or a dead mouse. Or a mummified mouse. Or half a mouse...
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Postby CJBurgandy on Mon Aug 02, 2004 8:44 am

we keep getting dead mice in our vending machine. Someone keeps laying out poison and they like to curl up in the vending machine to die. My co-worker told me that before I started working here, one decided to die in his printer (which is now my printer) and he discovered it because it wouldn't print and he thought it was out of ink and he lifted the top to get the ink cartriges and there was a dead mouse caught in the track.
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Postby Skylark King on Mon Aug 02, 2004 8:55 am

Little Girl- Daddy where do mice go when they die?

Daddy- Well, little girl, when mice die they go to vending machines.

Little Girl- What about ants?

Daddy- You are an inquisitive little girl, little girl. When ants die they go to GMG's chip bags.

Little Girl- Wow, how did you get to be so smart!

Daddy- Can you keep a secret, little girl?

Little Girl- Sure.

Daddy- Everything I know about the afterlife I learned at the KeenSpace Forums.

Little Girl- The KeenSpace Forums?

Daddy- That's right. (Daddy looks into camera) KeenSpace Forums: Learn Stuff Here!

Announcer: Void where prohibited. KeenSpace Forums may cause such side effects as nausia, fits of giggling, loss of wages, hypothermia, insomnia, gastrointeritis, heart failure, loss of limbs, gain of limbs, temporary blindness, numbness of the toes, male pattern baldness and the boogie woogie blues. Daddy and Little Girl not included. Consult a physician before trying the KeenSpace Forums. Offer ends 2/12/1972.
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Postby Grabmygoblin on Mon Aug 02, 2004 8:56 am

Skylark_King wrote:Both bags or just the one?
haven't opened the other bag yet. it's just sitting there. waiting.
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Postby Grabmygoblin on Mon Aug 02, 2004 9:01 am

Skylark_King wrote:Little Girl- Daddy where do mice go when they die?

Daddy- Well, little girl, when mice die they go to vending machines.

Little Girl- What about ants?

Daddy- You are an inquisitive little girl, little girl. When ants die they go to GMG's chip bags.

Little Girl- Wow, how did you get to be so smart!

Daddy- Can you keep a secret, little girl?

Little Girl- Sure.

Daddy- Everything I know about the afterlife I learned at the KeenSpace Forums.

Little Girl- The KeenSpace Forums?

Daddy- That's right. (Daddy looks into camera) KeenSpace Forums: Learn Stuff Here!

Announcer: Void where prohibited. KeenSpace Forums may cause such side effects as nausia, fits of giggling, loss of wages, hypothermia, insomnia, gastrointeritis, heart failure, loss of limbs, gain of limbs, temporary blindness, numbness of the toes, male pattern baldness and the boogie woogie blues. Daddy and Little Girl not included. Consult a physician before trying the KeenSpace Forums. Offer ends 2/12/1972.
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Postby Jops on Mon Aug 02, 2004 9:17 am

To me happened something similar, but with live ants!
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Postby CapitanG on Mon Aug 02, 2004 9:23 am

My bathroom has been infested with little black beetles lately. Just under an inch long, I'd say.

That, and spiders. And pillbugs.
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Postby Fadedflame on Mon Aug 02, 2004 9:26 am

Heh.....
If it were anything but ants I'd laugh. Ants are spooky. But I think you can get a refund on them at least :)

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Postby Kensou X on Mon Aug 02, 2004 9:47 am

grabmygoblin wrote:
Skylark_King wrote:Both bags or just the one?
haven't opened the other bag yet. it's just sitting there. waiting.


Sounds like a trailer for: Dead Ants 2: Rigamortous Revenge!!

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Postby Psiogen on Mon Aug 02, 2004 10:07 am

Are "leperchans" cute anime girls who represent the anthropomorphic personification of leprosy?
Sylvan, fadin motherfuckers like bleach.
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Postby Rkolter on Mon Aug 02, 2004 10:08 am

fadedflame wrote:Heh.....
If it were anything but ants I'd laugh. Ants are spooky. But I think you can get a refund on them at least :)

~Faded


For the ants?
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Postby Skylark King on Mon Aug 02, 2004 10:19 am

Psiogen wrote:Are "leperchans" cute anime girls who represent the anthropomorphic personification of leprosy?


I can't believe we never came up with that name! Leper-Con! HAHAHA!!
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Postby Fadedflame on Mon Aug 02, 2004 11:12 am

rkolter wrote:
fadedflame wrote:Heh.....
If it were anything but ants I'd laugh. Ants are spooky. But I think you can get a refund on them at least :)

~Faded


For the ants?



No, I don't think they give refunds on ant souls, however, technically they could sue the potato chip company for millions, or at least get a refund on the bag of chips.

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Postby Rkolter on Mon Aug 02, 2004 11:17 am

How did the ants get in there anyway?

Those bags are auto-filled by a machine. To get that many ants in one bag would mean that there had to be a bajillion ants in the machine.

What was the name brand of those chips........? I never want to eat them again.
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Postby Jops on Mon Aug 02, 2004 12:23 pm

rkolter wrote:How did the ants get in there anyway?

Those bags are auto-filled by a machine. To get that many ants in one bag would mean that there had to be a bajillion ants in the machine.


i doubt there were ants in the machine
It's more likely that the ants got in the bag once it was closed and stored in some room waiting to be shipped. A little hole in the bag is more than enough for them to get in, and then they died during trasportation.
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