so I didn't get any breakfast this morning. naturally by 9 my stomach is rumbling and I need something to hold me until lunch. so, I shimmy on over to the vending machines next door. I need something filling... something filling... ruffled chips are filling, right?
so I punch in "B2"
eee-eee-eee the bag stops.
*twitch* I put in another 75 cents, and punch in B2 again, this time
eee-eee-eee both bags drop down.
I grab both and try to hide one so people don't think I'm a pig. I shimmy on back to my desk and sit down. I throw one bag of chips into my backpack for tomorrow and open up the other. I start typing and munching, typin and munchin typin and munchin... say, these chips are stale... the date is ok.... type type type type... yep pretty stale... I wonder if could get a refund... type type type... yep sta-OHCRAPONAFUCKINGMOLDLYCRUSTTHESECHIPSARESWARMINGWITHDEADANTS!!!!
...
...
...yee-uup.
...pretty stale.
WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME???!!
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WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME???!!
by Grabmygoblin on Mon Aug 02, 2004 5:21 am
Last edited by Grabmygoblin on Mon Aug 02, 2004 7:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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by JexKerome on Mon Aug 02, 2004 6:39 am
I feel your pain, girl.
Faith is what credulity becomes when it finally achieves escape velocity from the constraints of terrestrial discourse- reasonableness, internal coherence, civility, and candor. Thus, the men who commited the atrocities of September 11 were neither cowards nor lunatics of any sort, but Men of Faith- perfect faith- and this, it must finally be acknowleged, is a terrible thing to be.
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Re: WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME???!!
by Rkolter on Mon Aug 02, 2004 7:19 am
grabmygoblin wrote:OHCRAPONAFUCKINGMOLDLCRUSTTHESECHIPSARESWARMINGWITHDEADANTS!!!!
...
...
...yee-uup.
...pretty stale.
So where's the pink panther?
dead-ant, dead-ant, dead-ant dead-ant dead-ant dead-ant deadANT!
... sorry, that's a really crummy joke.
Crossfire: "Thank you! That explains it very nicely, and in a language that someone other than a physicist can understand..."
Denial is not falsification. You can't avoid a fact just because you don't like it.
"Data" is not the plural of "anecdote"
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by Skylark King on Mon Aug 02, 2004 7:56 am
Both bags or just the one?
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by Rkolter on Mon Aug 02, 2004 8:31 am
Hey, it could have been a live mouse. Or a dead mouse. Or a mummified mouse. Or half a mouse...
Crossfire: "Thank you! That explains it very nicely, and in a language that someone other than a physicist can understand..."
Denial is not falsification. You can't avoid a fact just because you don't like it.
"Data" is not the plural of "anecdote"
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by CJBurgandy on Mon Aug 02, 2004 8:44 am
we keep getting dead mice in our vending machine. Someone keeps laying out poison and they like to curl up in the vending machine to die. My co-worker told me that before I started working here, one decided to die in his printer (which is now my printer) and he discovered it because it wouldn't print and he thought it was out of ink and he lifted the top to get the ink cartriges and there was a dead mouse caught in the track.
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by Skylark King on Mon Aug 02, 2004 8:55 am
Little Girl- Daddy where do mice go when they die?
Daddy- Well, little girl, when mice die they go to vending machines.
Little Girl- What about ants?
Daddy- You are an inquisitive little girl, little girl. When ants die they go to GMG's chip bags.
Little Girl- Wow, how did you get to be so smart!
Daddy- Can you keep a secret, little girl?
Little Girl- Sure.
Daddy- Everything I know about the afterlife I learned at the KeenSpace Forums.
Little Girl- The KeenSpace Forums?
Daddy- That's right. (Daddy looks into camera) KeenSpace Forums: Learn Stuff Here!
Announcer: Void where prohibited. KeenSpace Forums may cause such side effects as nausia, fits of giggling, loss of wages, hypothermia, insomnia, gastrointeritis, heart failure, loss of limbs, gain of limbs, temporary blindness, numbness of the toes, male pattern baldness and the boogie woogie blues. Daddy and Little Girl not included. Consult a physician before trying the KeenSpace Forums. Offer ends 2/12/1972.
Daddy- Well, little girl, when mice die they go to vending machines.
Little Girl- What about ants?
Daddy- You are an inquisitive little girl, little girl. When ants die they go to GMG's chip bags.
Little Girl- Wow, how did you get to be so smart!
Daddy- Can you keep a secret, little girl?
Little Girl- Sure.
Daddy- Everything I know about the afterlife I learned at the KeenSpace Forums.
Little Girl- The KeenSpace Forums?
Daddy- That's right. (Daddy looks into camera) KeenSpace Forums: Learn Stuff Here!
Announcer: Void where prohibited. KeenSpace Forums may cause such side effects as nausia, fits of giggling, loss of wages, hypothermia, insomnia, gastrointeritis, heart failure, loss of limbs, gain of limbs, temporary blindness, numbness of the toes, male pattern baldness and the boogie woogie blues. Daddy and Little Girl not included. Consult a physician before trying the KeenSpace Forums. Offer ends 2/12/1972.
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"This calls for a special blend of Psycology and extreme violence"
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by Grabmygoblin on Mon Aug 02, 2004 8:56 am
haven't opened the other bag yet. it's just sitting there. waiting.Skylark_King wrote:Both bags or just the one?
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by Grabmygoblin on Mon Aug 02, 2004 9:01 am
Skylark_King wrote:Little Girl- Daddy where do mice go when they die?
Daddy- Well, little girl, when mice die they go to vending machines.
Little Girl- What about ants?
Daddy- You are an inquisitive little girl, little girl. When ants die they go to GMG's chip bags.
Little Girl- Wow, how did you get to be so smart!
Daddy- Can you keep a secret, little girl?
Little Girl- Sure.
Daddy- Everything I know about the afterlife I learned at the KeenSpace Forums.
Little Girl- The KeenSpace Forums?
Daddy- That's right. (Daddy looks into camera) KeenSpace Forums: Learn Stuff Here!
Announcer: Void where prohibited. KeenSpace Forums may cause such side effects as nausia, fits of giggling, loss of wages, hypothermia, insomnia, gastrointeritis, heart failure, loss of limbs, gain of limbs, temporary blindness, numbness of the toes, male pattern baldness and the boogie woogie blues. Daddy and Little Girl not included. Consult a physician before trying the KeenSpace Forums. Offer ends 2/12/1972.
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by Fadedflame on Mon Aug 02, 2004 9:26 am
Heh.....
If it were anything but ants I'd laugh. Ants are spooky. But I think you can get a refund on them at least
~Faded
If it were anything but ants I'd laugh. Ants are spooky. But I think you can get a refund on them at least
~Faded
I don't live to die, I taunt death because it is the only way to live.
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by Kensou X on Mon Aug 02, 2004 9:47 am
grabmygoblin wrote:haven't opened the other bag yet. it's just sitting there. waiting.Skylark_King wrote:Both bags or just the one?
Sounds like a trailer for: Dead Ants 2: Rigamortous Revenge!!
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El doctor Tran es mas chingon en forma de quesadilla.
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by Psiogen on Mon Aug 02, 2004 10:07 am
Are "leperchans" cute anime girls who represent the anthropomorphic personification of leprosy?
Sylvan, fadin motherfuckers like bleach.
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by Rkolter on Mon Aug 02, 2004 10:08 am
fadedflame wrote:Heh.....
If it were anything but ants I'd laugh. Ants are spooky. But I think you can get a refund on them at least
~Faded
For the ants?
Crossfire: "Thank you! That explains it very nicely, and in a language that someone other than a physicist can understand..."
Denial is not falsification. You can't avoid a fact just because you don't like it.
"Data" is not the plural of "anecdote"
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by Skylark King on Mon Aug 02, 2004 10:19 am
Psiogen wrote:Are "leperchans" cute anime girls who represent the anthropomorphic personification of leprosy?
I can't believe we never came up with that name! Leper-Con! HAHAHA!!
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by Fadedflame on Mon Aug 02, 2004 11:12 am
rkolter wrote:fadedflame wrote:Heh.....
If it were anything but ants I'd laugh. Ants are spooky. But I think you can get a refund on them at least
~Faded
For the ants?
No, I don't think they give refunds on ant souls, however, technically they could sue the potato chip company for millions, or at least get a refund on the bag of chips.
~Faded
I don't live to die, I taunt death because it is the only way to live.
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by Rkolter on Mon Aug 02, 2004 11:17 am
How did the ants get in there anyway?
Those bags are auto-filled by a machine. To get that many ants in one bag would mean that there had to be a bajillion ants in the machine.
What was the name brand of those chips........? I never want to eat them again.
Those bags are auto-filled by a machine. To get that many ants in one bag would mean that there had to be a bajillion ants in the machine.
What was the name brand of those chips........? I never want to eat them again.
Crossfire: "Thank you! That explains it very nicely, and in a language that someone other than a physicist can understand..."
Denial is not falsification. You can't avoid a fact just because you don't like it.
"Data" is not the plural of "anecdote"
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by Jops on Mon Aug 02, 2004 12:23 pm
rkolter wrote:How did the ants get in there anyway?
Those bags are auto-filled by a machine. To get that many ants in one bag would mean that there had to be a bajillion ants in the machine.
i doubt there were ants in the machine
It's more likely that the ants got in the bag once it was closed and stored in some room waiting to be shipped. A little hole in the bag is more than enough for them to get in, and then they died during trasportation.
Jops
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