I have a lipstick mark on my left breast.
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I have a lipstick mark on my left breast.
I went to a strip club today, had a great time.
I'd post in greater detail, but I'm kinda tired. All I can say is dancers seem to love having a heavily-tipping woman in the audience.
- Mel
I'd post in greater detail, but I'm kinda tired. All I can say is dancers seem to love having a heavily-tipping woman in the audience.
- Mel
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The subject line you chose for this thread gave my libido whiplash 
I always have a pretty great time when I go to a strip club... I should go again soon, I think.

I always have a pretty great time when I go to a strip club... I should go again soon, I think.
"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered...."

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One of the girls basically complained about having small boobies, when she stopped to talk with me, and I go, "well, you want to see mine?"
So I uncharacteristically POP my shirt open. It's got snaps, after all. She ges an eyeful of real D cups, then gets another girl over to look, and she smooches me right on the cleavage.
Fiance lost his ability to talk just about then. She'd sit beside me and tuck her leg over mine, in between sets.
Did a special set just for us. I could tell she was getting turned on - the ultraviolet light in the place makes bodily fluids glow. (She was snogging me by the end of the set.)
- Mel
So I uncharacteristically POP my shirt open. It's got snaps, after all. She ges an eyeful of real D cups, then gets another girl over to look, and she smooches me right on the cleavage.
Fiance lost his ability to talk just about then. She'd sit beside me and tuck her leg over mine, in between sets.
Did a special set just for us. I could tell she was getting turned on - the ultraviolet light in the place makes bodily fluids glow. (She was snogging me by the end of the set.)
- Mel
Eye-candy for hire. No, it's not a porn site. (yet)
Hentacle. The Hentai Tentacle Card Game
Sloppy Seconds Just when you thought we couldn't get any more depraved.
Hentacle. The Hentai Tentacle Card Game
Sloppy Seconds Just when you thought we couldn't get any more depraved.
Wow... that sounds pretty hot. She really must have dug you and your boobies!
Nice treat for you, her, and your fiance!
~Sara
Nice treat for you, her, and your fiance!
~Sara
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I've never been to a strip club. Reasons: Back home there aren't any. I'm not 21 (though I'm sure that wouldn't pose too huge of a problem.) I say back home because I shipped off to college a few months ago - I'm sure there are strip clubs galore down here.
Reasons to continue staying away from strip clubs:
...
..
It'll come to me.
my girlfriend would kill me if she found out

edit: Actually, used to live on the canadian border, only an hour or two away from Quebec....*hits forehead*
Reasons to continue staying away from strip clubs:
...
..
It'll come to me.
my girlfriend would kill me if she found out

edit: Actually, used to live on the canadian border, only an hour or two away from Quebec....*hits forehead*
Last edited by Scarecrow on Wed Nov 02, 2005 10:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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I have had only one experience with strippers. It really didn't do that much for me.
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I've never really liked strip bars. Very seldomely have I ever been to one and it's always been when I've been dragged there by other people. My first experience at a strip club just made me feel very depressed. It was the night I signed up for the artillery. When I came out of the armoury there was a note on the windshield of my dad's car saying to go meet him in the strip bar across the street.
So I go in there, my dad's at the bar having a beer. Guys are playing pool, drinking, and there's this one chunky, not terribly pretty woman up on stage naked, trying to dance (girl had no rythme). Everyone in the bar was ignoring her except for one really old guy who kept doing a Tarzan call. She'd try to gyrate and then stop and yell at the audience to pay some attention to her. The old guy would do another Tarzan yell and she'd plead for the rest of us to show some appreciation too before returning to her clumsy and uninspired dance routine. It just made me feel increadably sad. Probably coloured my entire strip club outlook from then on.
I wouldn't mind going to a burlesque show though where the performers actually dance, sing, and tease (think of the Jessica Rabbit number from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, only ending with the Full Mindy) instead of just wave their crotch in your face. I think there's a burlesque in Toronto. They have a dress code too for the patrons. That I could get into.
So I go in there, my dad's at the bar having a beer. Guys are playing pool, drinking, and there's this one chunky, not terribly pretty woman up on stage naked, trying to dance (girl had no rythme). Everyone in the bar was ignoring her except for one really old guy who kept doing a Tarzan call. She'd try to gyrate and then stop and yell at the audience to pay some attention to her. The old guy would do another Tarzan yell and she'd plead for the rest of us to show some appreciation too before returning to her clumsy and uninspired dance routine. It just made me feel increadably sad. Probably coloured my entire strip club outlook from then on.
I wouldn't mind going to a burlesque show though where the performers actually dance, sing, and tease (think of the Jessica Rabbit number from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, only ending with the Full Mindy) instead of just wave their crotch in your face. I think there's a burlesque in Toronto. They have a dress code too for the patrons. That I could get into.
I've never been to a strip club unless you count Sinferno night at Dante's. It was more a carnival of carnality with girls dancing naked, musicians, fire dancers, a wonderfully funny singing group from Toronto called "The Wet Spots" (How can you not love a group that starts its set with "Do You Take it in the Ass?" And a self-loving torch song about a woman who's never had an orgasm called "Wherever You're Going, I'd Like to Cum"
)
One of the guests at a friend's bachelor party was a part-time stripper and full time technology company executive. She did a routine for the guest of honor. It was an uncomfortable, boundary-crossing experience for almost everyone there, including her. Sexy, but disturbing because she didn't think of most of us that way, and we didn't think of her that way. And there wasn't the anonymity of us being customers in a titty bar. It was an intimate setting. Bad scobies all around.

One of the guests at a friend's bachelor party was a part-time stripper and full time technology company executive. She did a routine for the guest of honor. It was an uncomfortable, boundary-crossing experience for almost everyone there, including her. Sexy, but disturbing because she didn't think of most of us that way, and we didn't think of her that way. And there wasn't the anonymity of us being customers in a titty bar. It was an intimate setting. Bad scobies all around.
"It is the difference between the unknown and the unknowable, between science and fantasy - it is a matter of essence. The four points of the compass be logic, knowledge, wisdom and the unknown. Some do bow in that final direction. Others advance upon it. To bow before the one is to lose sight of the three. I may submit to the unknown, but never to the unknowable. The man who bows in that final direction is either a saint or a fool. I have no use for either."
-- Roger Zelazny Lord of Light
-- Roger Zelazny Lord of Light
The club I went to was a strip club, but the girls were having fun with their routines, and the majority of them had been stripping enough they were actually dancing, and stuff they did no classically trained dancer would manage without lots of practice.Ghastly wrote:I wouldn't mind going to a burlesque show though where the performers actually dance, sing, and tease (think of the Jessica Rabbit number from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, only ending with the Full Mindy) instead of just wave their crotch in your face. I think there's a burlesque in Toronto. They have a dress code too for the patrons. That I could get into.
Like climbing the pole in fetish heels, then peeling off it backwards and doing a modified backflip off. Or sideways splits off a pole-climb.
A couple of the girls got naked, but a bunch of them kept items of clothing on - it was very nice. One of them had a wonderful figure and she kept using her flyaway gown to tease us with glimpses of pink.
The manager would come out and chat with the girls, check on them, he maintained a presence in case customers got creepy. There were a couple regulars the girls all came out to chat with (He didn't even buy a dance, but he was throwing twenties around. On his way home from work, he said.) who came across more like "old friend" than "creepy wanker".
None of the girls did sing loudly, but a couple sang along to their routines.
I dunno, I liked the place, mostly because it didn't feel skuzzy or desperate. The girls ranged from "hot" to "OMG HOT LIKE CORE OF SUN", and my presence made their evening vastly more profitable as men were tipping them to give me some lovin' at the stage,
- Mel
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Sloppy Seconds Just when you thought we couldn't get any more depraved.
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Sloppy Seconds Just when you thought we couldn't get any more depraved.
My only experiance with a strip club was... dissapointing.
The one dancer that was on stage seemed to think the only part people were interested in looking at was her ass, and she didnt dance all that well.
I havent gone to either of the two here in town yet, but I do remember some of the dancers because they always came into the gas station I worked graves at. Those were some hot numbers lemme tell you. *fans self at memory* Plus I know that it dosent cost nearly as much for a dance for a woman as it does for a man here.
The one dancer that was on stage seemed to think the only part people were interested in looking at was her ass, and she didnt dance all that well.
I havent gone to either of the two here in town yet, but I do remember some of the dancers because they always came into the gas station I worked graves at. Those were some hot numbers lemme tell you. *fans self at memory* Plus I know that it dosent cost nearly as much for a dance for a woman as it does for a man here.

Meow. Purr.
I love burlesque!
Uncle Ghastly you are dead right!
I've always dreamed of the riot that I could cause (or any enthusiastic girly for that matter !) with a pair of appropriately placed spangly pasties, fabulous boa, 2 over-sized feathery fans, glorious spikeyheels, and giant champagne glass to slosh about in - (filled with bubbles of course!) whilst Peggy-Lee is brought back from the dead to belt out "Big Spender" as a soundrack!
(And yes, in case anyone's wondering, I have thought about this alot
)
However - As far as modern day "traditional" ("traditional" my ass! but anyway) strip clubs go, believe me, I've spent a fair amount of time in them and their pretty much universally shitholes, even if they may seem classy to the clients. Well run, clean (financially, sexually and trade-wise "red-light" establishments are sadly rare as hens-teeth. And I really do mean sadly.)
Anyway, back to the bubbles, and Peggy Lee, thats SO much more FUN!!!
Uncle Ghastly you are dead right!
I've always dreamed of the riot that I could cause (or any enthusiastic girly for that matter !) with a pair of appropriately placed spangly pasties, fabulous boa, 2 over-sized feathery fans, glorious spikeyheels, and giant champagne glass to slosh about in - (filled with bubbles of course!) whilst Peggy-Lee is brought back from the dead to belt out "Big Spender" as a soundrack!
(And yes, in case anyone's wondering, I have thought about this alot

However - As far as modern day "traditional" ("traditional" my ass! but anyway) strip clubs go, believe me, I've spent a fair amount of time in them and their pretty much universally shitholes, even if they may seem classy to the clients. Well run, clean (financially, sexually and trade-wise "red-light" establishments are sadly rare as hens-teeth. And I really do mean sadly.)
Anyway, back to the bubbles, and Peggy Lee, thats SO much more FUN!!!

I shall keep myself in oysters for the rest of the week, thank you very much.
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In my previous days as a road warrior I visited an incredible number of strip joints, burlesque houses, nudie bars, champaign rooms, topless clubs, gentlemen's lounges, dens of inequity, and foxy boxing rings as the team lead for a group of rough and ready engineering types who refined the practice of watching titties bounce in to a fine art.
I've seen places that range from dirt floor to marble ceilings with just about every shade of quality in-between, and I noticed that the entertainment value wasn't in the fixtures, floors, or water content of the drinks, but rather the amount of enjoyment the dancers themselves were having.
There was a place in Pennsylvania that ranks in the worst of the worst. The building was seedy, the drinks were nasty, the bartender was visibly armed, and announced every minute or so "Don't touch the dancers"
The dancers themselves looked bored and shook it with the careless abandon of a nun during confession.
Contrast that with a place in Connecuit. The building was one step up from a shack, it was smokey, the drinks were beyond foul, and I'd heard better sound systems in 3rd world dive bars. The dancers though.. holy shit! There were several girls that weren't very attractive, on the unhealthy side of pudgey (this from the guy who thinks that 36-24-36 is great if you're 5' tall) but damn were they enjoying themselves. They really couldn't dance that well, but they were trying, and very seductive. The knew how to tease, they knew the importance of NOT showing, or only showing in glimpses. There were a couple others who were attractive, who COULD dance, and who DID tease. If you've got that down, it doesn't matter if you're stripping in a paper bag in a septic tank, its going to be entertaining.
Some other observations.
The further south you go in the US, the higher percentage of the strippers will be entertaining.
NYC has horrible HORRIBLE clubs for the most part. I shit you not when I say that all the strippers had visible implant scars, and one had a tail.
Girl-on-girl is nice when the girls actually enjoy it (just like dancing)
In most places you can't touch the dancers, even when getting a $20 lap dance. In Tampa, that same $20 gets you a two song dance and a happy ending.
The drinks are always watered down in clubs with cover below $10
The free lunch buffetts aren't the best food you'll ever have, but nothing goes with a cheap steak like breasts.
Dress nice, you'll get more attention, even if you're not a big spender.
I've seen places that range from dirt floor to marble ceilings with just about every shade of quality in-between, and I noticed that the entertainment value wasn't in the fixtures, floors, or water content of the drinks, but rather the amount of enjoyment the dancers themselves were having.
There was a place in Pennsylvania that ranks in the worst of the worst. The building was seedy, the drinks were nasty, the bartender was visibly armed, and announced every minute or so "Don't touch the dancers"
The dancers themselves looked bored and shook it with the careless abandon of a nun during confession.
Contrast that with a place in Connecuit. The building was one step up from a shack, it was smokey, the drinks were beyond foul, and I'd heard better sound systems in 3rd world dive bars. The dancers though.. holy shit! There were several girls that weren't very attractive, on the unhealthy side of pudgey (this from the guy who thinks that 36-24-36 is great if you're 5' tall) but damn were they enjoying themselves. They really couldn't dance that well, but they were trying, and very seductive. The knew how to tease, they knew the importance of NOT showing, or only showing in glimpses. There were a couple others who were attractive, who COULD dance, and who DID tease. If you've got that down, it doesn't matter if you're stripping in a paper bag in a septic tank, its going to be entertaining.
Some other observations.
The further south you go in the US, the higher percentage of the strippers will be entertaining.
NYC has horrible HORRIBLE clubs for the most part. I shit you not when I say that all the strippers had visible implant scars, and one had a tail.
Girl-on-girl is nice when the girls actually enjoy it (just like dancing)
In most places you can't touch the dancers, even when getting a $20 lap dance. In Tampa, that same $20 gets you a two song dance and a happy ending.
The drinks are always watered down in clubs with cover below $10
The free lunch buffetts aren't the best food you'll ever have, but nothing goes with a cheap steak like breasts.
Dress nice, you'll get more attention, even if you're not a big spender.
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He demands obeisance in the form of oral sex, or he'll put you at the mercy of his tentacles. Even after performing obeisance, you might be on the receiving ends of tentacles anyway. In this case, pray to Sodomiticus to intercede on your behalf.
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He demands obeisance in the form of oral sex, or he'll put you at the mercy of his tentacles. Even after performing obeisance, you might be on the receiving ends of tentacles anyway. In this case, pray to Sodomiticus to intercede on your behalf.
--from The Bible According to Badnoodles
perverted and depraved and deprived ~MooCow
Visit the Naughty Tentacle Cosplay Gallery
Yow. I think I need to go have a lie-down. 'scuse...Mel Wong wrote:One of the girls basically complained about having small boobies, when she stopped to talk with me, and I go, "well, you want to see mine?"
So I uncharacteristically POP my shirt open. It's got snaps, after all. She ges an eyeful of real D cups, then gets another girl over to look, and she smooches me right on the cleavage.
Fiance lost his ability to talk just about then. She'd sit beside me and tuck her leg over mine, in between sets.
Did a special set just for us. I could tell she was getting turned on - the ultraviolet light in the place makes bodily fluids glow. (She was snogging me by the end of the set.)
"It is the difference between the unknown and the unknowable, between science and fantasy - it is a matter of essence. The four points of the compass be logic, knowledge, wisdom and the unknown. Some do bow in that final direction. Others advance upon it. To bow before the one is to lose sight of the three. I may submit to the unknown, but never to the unknowable. The man who bows in that final direction is either a saint or a fool. I have no use for either."
-- Roger Zelazny Lord of Light
-- Roger Zelazny Lord of Light
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I've only been in one strip club in the NYC area... and I haven't done a whole lot of cruising strip joints in general
Actually, the place I went was described to me as:
1: A titty bar, not a strip club
2: The place to take a girlfriend or parents to, and tell them that it's a strip club, so they can say "this isn't too bad".
On the other hand, my friend and his metal band were playing upstairs, so watching the boobs of bored girls wasn't the only thing to do.
So I hear, one of the landmark clubs up here supposedly overcharges wealthy patrons (to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars), and is probably run by the mob.
IMHO it's best not to take such places seriously, if you do go. Just resign yourselves to the ridiculousness of the situation, and have fun with it.
Actually, the place I went was described to me as:
1: A titty bar, not a strip club
2: The place to take a girlfriend or parents to, and tell them that it's a strip club, so they can say "this isn't too bad".
On the other hand, my friend and his metal band were playing upstairs, so watching the boobs of bored girls wasn't the only thing to do.
So I hear, one of the landmark clubs up here supposedly overcharges wealthy patrons (to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars), and is probably run by the mob.
IMHO it's best not to take such places seriously, if you do go. Just resign yourselves to the ridiculousness of the situation, and have fun with it.
That is by far the best story about a strip club I have heardOne of the girls basically complained about having small boobies, when she stopped to talk with me, and I go, "well, you want to see mine?"
So I uncharacteristically POP my shirt open. It's got snaps, after all. She ges an eyeful of real D cups, then gets another girl over to look, and she smooches me right on the cleavage.
Fiance lost his ability to talk just about then. She'd sit beside me and tuck her leg over mine, in between sets.
Did a special set just for us. I could tell she was getting turned on - the ultraviolet light in the place makes bodily fluids glow. (She was snogging me by the end of the set.)
- Mel
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[quote="HentaiCat"]...I have never heard a story were a man goes to a club full of half naked members of the same sex and has a good time
"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered...."

Blogging and ranting at: The Devil's Advocate... See also...
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Blogging and ranting at: The Devil's Advocate... See also...
The semi-developed country... http://www.honormacdonald.com
Warning: Xenophile.