Tina says:

Friend · Post by **Friend** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 7:12 pm

That horrible ad has been floating around for a while now. It harangued me while I was replying to another thread here, and I paid attention for once.

It's got a freaking scroll bar on it. A scroll bar. Honestly. And what's the scroll bar for?
"How fast would you like to earn your college degree?"
Slow--|--|--|--|--|--|--|--|--Fast

I'd like to find the people who fall for that, and hit them.
Additionally, the button at the end of the animation:
"Would you like to earn your college degree fast?"
(Yes/No)

Suppose that it's for real, just for a minute. A university puts out an ad to grab some more students. They show up the fact that their university has short courses, so you can earn a college degree in mere months. (spend a year, get a doctorate!)
How would that look on a resume?

Boss: Ooh, Mr. Blackenstock got his B.Arts at the Online University of Phoenix. And in only two weeks! He must be incredible!
Receptionist: With respect, milord, the OUoP B.Arts course only GOES for two weeks.
Boss: But of course. Jenny, could you put this in the shredder for me?
Receptionist: Gladly, your Grace. I also recall it's been a while since your last dental check-up. Shall I make an appointment?
Boss: As it pleaseth thee.

And like that, your hardly-won resume is discarded in favour of good, healthy teeth.

Would you like to earn your college degree fast? At the University of Phoenix, we're so fast you won't even have time to use adverbs like "quickly."

Truly, I hope that the girl who did the voice for Tina, the fella who animated her, and the chump whose idea the whole shebang was all stub their toe at least once a week for the rest of their lives.

RadPal · Post by **RadPal** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 7:22 pm

I hate that ad with a passion, and all ads that insult viewers' intelligence by having commands and menus inside the linked banner graphic. I would always see that particular one on other sites and say to myself, "I'm just glad there aren't any annoying ads like that popping up on the KeenSpace ad rotation." Then poof, I see it on my site.

It's got a freaking scroll bar on it. A scroll bar. Honestly. And what's the scroll bar for?
"How fast would you like to earn your college degree?"
Slow--|--|--|--|--|--|--|--|--Fast

And I love how it has slow there, as if anyone attracted to a cheap college ad like that would make the choice. "Oh, I can get a degree fast! Wait, it can be slow, too. Let me pick slow!" "No man, it's a trap. Pick medium or something." "Yeah!"

Mr Ekshin · Post by **Mr Ekshin** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 7:34 pm

It's a nifty bit of script tho. It's interresting and even creepy the way she will watch the mouse cursor and follow it around. Really, I'm sure the geeks who wrote the stuff had higher hopes, but probably farmed out to whoever would hire them do create an advertisement.

The ad is as much a resume for the coders as it is an attraction for the school/client.

Soap Soaperson · Post by **Soap Soaperson** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 7:42 pm

Mr Ekshin wrote:It's a nifty bit of script tho. It's interresting and even creepy the way she will watch the mouse cursor and follow it around. Really, I'm sure the geeks who wrote the stuff had higher hopes, but probably farmed out to whoever would hire them do create an advertisement.

The ad is as much a resume for the coders as it is an attraction for the school/client.

Hey! I was just about to comment on the niftiness of her gazing at the cursor.

Though, I wouldn't have paid the ad any attention if I hadn't read this topic. THANKS A LOT.

Friend · Post by **Friend** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 7:57 pm

Anyone can make characters gaze at the cursor.

Although I suppose you're right about the ad being a resume for the coders.

Boss: My, this is a fine piece of coding! Look at the mesmerising way she follows my pointer-mouse as though it were a pretty butterfly she were trying to ensnare!
Secretary: Yea, verily.
Boss: It is a boon that this ad hath never been inflicted upon true society, though. It's tricksome words doth insult the intelligence of their reader.
Secretary: I beg pardon, my leige, but in truth this implement of lies and deceit has been loose upon the Interweb for many moons past.
Boss: A scandal! Bring me these coders so we may string them up by their gillets. And while you're at it, my own gillet needs attention - book an appointment with my chiropractor.
Secretary: It is as already done, milord.

Mr Ekshin · Post by **Mr Ekshin** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 8:33 pm

trinket90 wrote:Anyone can make characters gaze at the cursor.

Although I suppose you're right about the ad being a resume for the coders.

I've seen stuff like that before, but it's not as complex as the ad.

"Tina's" face also changes perspective. It's a bit more work - especially for a 468x60 banner. The mouth synch is also interresting, using what lookes like 6 different shapes to synch to the speech. It's a nice bit of work, and I'm sure the creators are trying their darndest to licence it out to everyone who'll pay.

Friend · Post by **Friend** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 8:52 pm

Shhhhh, you're making me feel bad. We ignore the change of perspective to make me look as smart as the coders.

MixedMyth · Post by **MixedMyth** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 8:52 pm

I'm so happy I have my degree, I could roll it up and snort it.

Not that I have a job yet.

Orion · Post by **Orion** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 9:02 pm

as I commented elsewhere I have a specail reason to hate tina, for reasons unknown she duplicates herself, placing ads around my tagboard and screwing up the way my site looks. If anyone knows how to fix it I'd love to find out.

Ruxen · Post by **Ruxen** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 9:02 pm

I'd like to jump on the 'I hate that stupid ad' bandwagon. Everytime it comes up my computer slows to a halt. Sometimes the voice comes through okay but sometimes she starts studdering:
"H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hi-hi-hi-hi-hi.."
Gah!

CJBurgandy · Post by **CJBurgandy** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 10:54 pm

There was an ad a few months back that had copyrighted images from a company I work for on it. I haven't seen it since I clicked it and wrote them an e-mail asking where they got the images from.

though I never got a reply either......

CapitanG · Post by **CapitanG** » Sun Jun 20, 2004 12:28 am

So...is Tina pulling the Boss and Secretary back through time, or what? Their interactions are getting exponentially more anachronistic...

Big words! Whee!

Amberchrome · Post by **Amberchrome** » Sun Jun 20, 2004 1:01 am

I just want to slap Tina's face every time I see it

She almost crashed my computer, the #@$@! She's not a graphic, she's a VIRUS...

And you know my opinion of virus writers... (my fantasy involves rope and lamposts)

Psiogen · Post by **Psiogen** » Sun Jun 20, 2004 2:34 am

I want to marry Tina!

Marry her TO DEATH. YEAH.

McDuffies · Post by **McDuffies** » Sun Jun 20, 2004 6:17 am

Yeah, Tina's hot. Either that or I'm very horny.

Mr.Bob · Post by **Mr.Bob** » Sun Jun 20, 2004 6:26 am

Get off my leg.

RPin · Post by **RPin** » Sun Jun 20, 2004 6:58 am

Mr Ekshin wrote:"Tina's" face also changes perspective. It's a bit more work - especially for a 468x60 banner. The mouth synch is also interresting, using what lookes like 6 different shapes to synch to the speech. It's a nice bit of work, and I'm sure the creators are trying their darndest to licence it out to everyone who'll pay.

Yeah. I've seen their site already, shame I can't remember where. But it was real fun, you can create any face you want, and get it to say anything.

I had a good fun making they cuss for hours.

Vorticus · Post by **Vorticus** » Sun Jun 20, 2004 7:56 am

Didn't Tina used to sell memory upgrades to make your computer faster? And the slider used to be how fast you wanted your computer to run. I distinctly remember this because she would tell you what browser and OS you were using.

Taiwanimation · Post by **Taiwanimation** » Sun Jun 20, 2004 9:15 am

This is the 3rd BBS on which I've come across rants about that ad. THis is why I surf the net with mute.

CapitanG · Post by **CapitanG** » Sun Jun 20, 2004 9:25 am

I've actually never run across one of them, so I have no idea what you're all talking about.