What Sucks above

Taiwanimation · Post by **Taiwanimation** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 3:33 pm

I feel that my comic strip has a few major flaws and intend to deal with them as the current story line is ending soon and I'll be starting #25 in January. I have a rough idea of what they are, but I'm not completely sure what the biggest problem is.

So, in the latest chain thread, we have "What Sucks above". Basically, point out what you hate the most about the comic above, and the next person will do the same. And pull no punches. If you think my writing makes P*pkin funny, say it. Be specific though.

Using P*pkin as an example, here's a *sample* What Sucks above:

P*pkin:
Your comics make no sense and look like they're made of random panels randomly arranged by a computer. Unsure of whether to read comic from left to right or right to left. Unsure if it even matters. Get some sense of direction and storytelling.

Kevin Wolf · Post by **Kevin Wolf** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 4:50 pm

All right, wussies, I'll break this topic's cherry.

Taiwanimation: The biggest stumbling block I have in my attempts to appreciate your comic is that I find the two main characters very visually unappealing. Your art style, while unique, tends to confuse me. I don't know why.

Your punchlines are also pretty hit-and-miss.

Okay, guys, let me have it...

(puts on blindfold...lights cigarette)

Indybuda · Post by **Indybuda** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 6:29 pm

Heh. *cracks knuckles*

Hmm... My biggest problem with your comics is your rigid restriction to panel count. Beyond that, I seriously love all of your strips (that I've read). I still haven't gone through the Gripping Tales backlog though, so maybe that'll change.

Also... you could maybe relax your character's postures and body language to make it feel more natural.

Now, someone... Lemme have it!

Psiogen · Post by **Psiogen** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 6:37 pm

I love Hotel Grim's art but it always looks really poorly compressed/resized, which gets in the way of its natural attractiveness. Other than that, it's quite good, although the punchlines are inscrutable more often than truly funny.

Indybuda · Post by **Indybuda** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 6:41 pm

Thanks Sylvan! I'm actually in the process of rescanning and resizing them

*lets someone else tell psiogen what sucks*

Kevin Wolf · Post by **Kevin Wolf** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 7:02 pm

indybuda wrote:Heh. *cracks knuckles*
I still haven't gone through the Gripping Tales backlog though, so maybe that'll change.

Ummm...there really isn't a "Gripping Tales" backlog. Not anymore...just the four "Low Orbit" strips I've posted. I nuked the older "Gripping Tales" strips because I didn't want to confuse people.

I've really been trying to loosen up the panels and create some different layouts...here's my first attempt at something slightly outside the norm, and even the episode before that had a less rigid layout...look, hopefully, for the panels to get a bit more dynamic, and hopefully my posing will improve now that I'm drawing an adventure comic rather than a gag strip.

Hopefully.

Taiwanimation · Post by **Taiwanimation** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 8:04 pm

Hmm, I dont know about changing the characters' appearances but I am going to work on the punchlines alot. maybe its the two panel system's limitations...

time to return the favor
Kevin Wolf:

Gripping Tales of Men:

For a comic strip that runs once a week, the plot moves maddeningly slow. You better got some action scenes lined up soon (maybe a flashback) because I ain't gonna wait around for half a year for them.

Seriously, you've already gone through one month and a guy getting knocked out by a blue thing doesn't count as action. I see you classify yourself as Action Adventure on OnlineComics.net. Live up to the name.

Kevin Wolf · Post by **Kevin Wolf** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 8:37 pm

Taiwanimation wrote:Hmm, I dont know about changing the characters' appearances but I am going to work on the punchlines alot. maybe its the two panel system's limitations...

time to return the favor
Kevin Wolf:

Gripping Tales of Men:

For a comic strip that runs once a week, the plot moves maddeningly slow. You better got some action scenes lined up soon (maybe a flashback) because I ain't gonna wait around for half a year for them.

Seriously, you've already gone through one month and a guy getting knocked out by a blue thing doesn't count as action. I see you classify yourself as Action Adventure on OnlineComics.net. Live up to the name.

The original thing I was running on "Gripping Tales" back in the day was chock full of action for about 6 installations, and then I realized that I'd forgotten to establish character.

"Low Orbit" is a sci-fi noir in the Blade Runner mode, and we all know how long it takes to get to the good stuff in that movie. If you read the first four chapters, I think you'll find that while the plot hasn't necessarily advanced, I have managed to paint these two characters, imply a meaty backstory, and set up the current dynamic between them with a minimum of fuss.

Hold tight, friend...the good stuff will come. If you want propulsive action storytelling with frequent bloodletting and one-liners, Hamish MacCreagle is willing to please.

Now, not to be snotty, but technically, you should be telling Psiogen why he sucks, not me.

Taiwanimation · Post by **Taiwanimation** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 8:58 pm

well then in that case...
Psiogen...

Mnemesis:

First of all, about your site name. Since you signature just says webcomics.org and gives no description, it makes me think it's just a directory site.
You have an interesting site name, use it!

The only other thing:
The rough borders are OK for the dark panels against the black background, but look bad with the bright panels.

By the way, the NYC subway map on the Oct. 27 page is a nice touch. Being from NJ and frequently having gone into the city that map is one of those instantly recognizable images that gets ingrained in your mind.

Friend · Post by **Friend** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 9:24 pm

Well, Taiwanimation beat me to it but I've never read SMDE so I'll say what I think sucks about Mnemesis (which isn't much):

The humour doesn't really match the artwork (but you get used to that really quickly). The first episode/panel really throws off your mental preparation - puts you in the mood for some deep sort of morbid comic, and then the rest are full of gags. Nothing major, really, it just shocked my system a little.

Psiogen · Post by **Psiogen** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 9:42 pm

Heh. Thanks, guys.

I'm aware of the slight non-sequitur of the first page. Actually, Mnemesis IS a dark, morbid comic, it just hasn't really "kicked in" yet. Unfortunately I just can't draw that fast right now. Hopefully it'll read more smoothly when you've got the whole thing (around 70 pages, depending on how much I edit the script...) in front of you.

Ratbert · Post by **Ratbert** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 11:42 pm

Okay, I'll do Psiogens:

Personally, I thought your comic is cool, but I didn't read through more than about 25 pages of it because it's boring the hell out of me. But hey, that's just me.

Shit, this is hard to do without making yourself sound like an asshole.

Psiogen · Post by **Psiogen** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 11:51 pm

There've only been 12 pages, you know... unless you read one of my older comics...

Ratbert · Post by **Ratbert** » Sat Dec 14, 2002 11:58 pm

Well, I kind of figured they were all in the same category...

I mostly read through the main one and a little bit of your Sporkorific comic.

Either way, I'd have to say that just the link in your signature one, which I read through all of it, I think, I still think the storyline is decent, I just thought it was boring.

Psiogen · Post by **Psiogen** » Sun Dec 15, 2002 12:04 am

Geez, man, you're hurting my "extremely interesting" street cred here.

Ratbert · Post by **Ratbert** » Sun Dec 15, 2002 12:15 am

Well, it would be interesting, I just didn't think so. See, look at my comic - well, you don't have to, but it's a good basis for the other types of comics that I like. Our tastes are probably completely different.

Then again, I get bored with a lot of comics.

Psiogen · Post by **Psiogen** » Sun Dec 15, 2002 12:44 am

Hey, I understand. We can't all be the shizzy to the nizzy.

McDuffies · Post by **McDuffies** » Sun Dec 15, 2002 3:50 am

Ratberg skipped mcVille, I'll do it:

McVille... mcVille... mhmmm...
Well, I'm not really a lover of copy-paste art... because when you look a the page from distance, repeated panels can look ugly. That, and more important, when you read through them, you get tired because you're basically looking at the same stuff, only reading different text. Later is somehow mostly avoided in mcVille.
Demon characters seem out of place to me... well, not really, but I really expected to see more normal characters, I think they'd give more freedom for real character and relationships development.
Another thing: too much 4th wall breaking can stop the story to really develope.

Of course, I wasn't asked to tell about the good things so this it not my overall wiev of mcVille.
Good idea for thread, Taiwanimation!

Warren · Post by **Warren** » Sun Dec 15, 2002 1:45 pm

Not a bad comic, it's likeable....

But....

Sometimes it's a comedy, sometimes a soap opera, and sometimes drama. This gives the series a somewhat unbalanced flavor, IMO. The comedic efforts are by far the strongest point of the comic.

The series also seems to switch almost randomly between strip and longform. Not a big problem, or even a priority to choose one or the other, it just seems off.

And since I'm a cat person, the current storyline isn't destined to be my fave. But that's just me.

McDuffies · Post by **McDuffies** » Mon Dec 16, 2002 3:13 am

Warren wrote: Sometimes it's a comedy, sometimes a soap opera, and sometimes drama. This gives the series a somewhat unbalanced flavor, IMO. The comedic efforts are by far the strongest point of the comic.

I sertainly agree on that. Drama part can suck and turn into soap opera from time to time. I'm trying to learn to deal with it better, but sometimes it's just hard to find right words to put them in character's mouth...

And since I'm a cat person, the current storyline isn't destined to be my fave. But that's just me.

Wait and see...

Comic Genesis Forums

What Sucks above

What Sucks above

McDuffies!

Re: McDuffies!