Critique my comic, please. Asking nicely.

[Tyndal]

Hey all.
I've just completed my 11th page and would like some comments, particular criticism, on my comic.
Saving Taern - http://savingtaern.keenspace.com

It's an epic serial fantasy comic, pretty light hearted.
Thanks!

-Tyndal[/url]

[ZOMBIE USER 11268]

The artwork in this cartoon is particularly awesome... I mean, I always get so bored doing pencil shading and attempting multiple-layers, but you've seem to got it down pat. The font goes well with the cartoon, the word bubbles fit nicely, and the dragon.... thing is really cool. I really liked that panel where the dragon thing's back exploded.

Now I really didn't find much that I didn't like, and that kind of disturbed me... the prologue was incredibly cliched, and I think you already mentioned that yourself. After you've got a few more pages done, maybe the story won't reflect so much on that whole 'cryogenic' thing.

Maybe a few more jokes would help the cartoon move faster... it was kind of repetitious to read an entire page only to read a simple one-liner that had little relevance to the rest of the page.

Your characters should make their actions a little more exaggerated... I liked such scenes as when the lead-man's eyes were popped out, and you can do a really good action scene, like in the aforesaid.

Anywho.... it's a good cartoon, and after a bunch more cartoons, you should start plugging big.

-chris "c"

[Tyndal]

Thanks for those comments. they're very helpful. It's hard to find good critique.

I'm glad you like the artwork. I actually turned to shading because I found colouring too boring =)

"it was kind of repetitious to read an entire page only to read a simple one-liner that had little relevance to the rest of the page."
I'm not sure which page you're referring to... could you elaborate? I'd really like to improve my writing.

I was actually afraid I was over exagerrating in that picture, actually, though you might have picked that up from my little comment at the bottom. I think I will try to exaggerate a bit more though. More fun to draw, more fun to see.

-Tyndal
Saving Taern http://savingtaern.keenspace.com

PS Love your comic, chris. Linked.

[ZOMBIE USER 11735]

I'm glad you like the artwork. I actually turned to shading because I found colouring too boring =)-Tyndal
Saving Taern http://savingtaern.keenspace.com

Ack, I feel bad commenting because I am so new to putting out comics myself, but I thought you over shaded, what I mean is it looks fuzzy (and yes I cleaned my glasses off) the pencil shading feels like its part of the forground and distracts from the charectors .. and I like how clean the charectors are drawn so I wanted to see more.

I liked it over all.

[ZOMBIE USER 11268]

If the backgrounds begin to take more presence over the characters, there could be a slight problem, but not a very big one.
If you really don't want that to happen, I would do a darker outline around all the characters -- it would give it a more cartoony look, but I think it would be fine with your comic.

-chris "c"

[Tyndal]

Actually, I agree with you, Jack. there's no nee to feel bad commenting though, this is your opinion. I tried some lighter shading for my last update, but I might try chris' idea of outlines for the characters next update and see how that looks.

-Tyndal

[Descendents]

Hey man could you just explain to me how to make a snappy title page like you have? If you look at mine you will understand, yo! Oh and if it looks unfinished that is because I usually update a section at a time. See my first page for what it will look like!

Descendents

[Tyndal]

I guess the best way is to learn how use HTML or a WYSIWYG program like Frontpage or Dreamweaver.

I'm a self taught HTML programmer, and I learned by downloading pages and fiddling with them. If you want, you can steal my code and modify it. It's not precious. You'll need to create some appropriate graphics though.

[Descendents]

I don't know how to take your page.. how do I do that?

descendents

[ZOMBIE USER 11268]

File - Edit with Microsoft Frontpage Editor

or

File - Save As

or

View - Source

-chris "c"

[Descendents]

Cool man!@ Thanks a lot for your help! Now I can take over the wo-- Oh crap... I mean don't listen to the rumors that someone has taken over the world.-(this is all a bad dream)-

descendents