FOR YOU xXlalofaa(toAd)Xx

ZOMBIE USER 761 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 761** » Fri Dec 15, 2000 6:20 am

A young virgin couple are finally wed. Each one is nervous about
the impending night, but neither are willing to admit or ask each
other about it. Wondering what to do first, the young man calls
his father."Pop, what do I do first?""Get naked and climb into bed," his father replies.So, the young man does as he is advised. The girl is mortified
and calls her mama."Get naked and join him," is the advice from mama, so she
complies.After laying there for a few moments, the young man excuses
himself and calls his dad again."What do I do?" he asks.His father replies, "Look at her naked body. Then, take the
hardest part of your body and put it where she pees!" is the
dad's advice.A few moments later, the girl again calls her mama. "What do I do
now?" she asks."Well, what is he doing?" mama asks."He's in the bathroom, dunking his head in the toilet!"

ZOMBIE USER 761 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 761** » Fri Dec 15, 2000 6:24 am

At a seminar called "Stress and Disease" by Dr. Nickolas Hall, an
expert in psychobiology, gave an example of a coping skill for
job stress which I would like to share with you.When you have had one of those 'Take This Job And Shove It'
days, try this:On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the
section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase
a rectal thermometer made by "Q-tip". Be sure that you get this
brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and
disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your
therapy.Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie
down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer,
remove the thermometer, and carefully place it on the bedside
table so that it will not become chipped or broken.Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as
you read it you will notice in small print the statement that
says "every rectal thermometer made by Q-tip is PERSONALLY
tested".Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, "I am so glad
that I do not work in quality control at the Q-tip company."

ZOMBIE USER 761 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 761** » Fri Dec 15, 2000 8:17 am

i'll squash you like a bug bert...

ZOMBIE USER 761 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 761** » Sat Dec 16, 2000 7:46 am

you should read it...it's funny damnit! <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/mad.gif">

Beaninator · Post by **Beaninator** » Fri Dec 22, 2000 2:00 am

you bunch of freaks. porter, our relationship got off to a rocky start, what with you calling me dickface and all, but im willing to forgive and forget, oh ye fellow skinny puppy fan!fuck it up pigface fuck it up pigface!

ZOMBIE USER 761 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 761** » Fri Dec 22, 2000 2:31 am

yeah!! fuck it up! <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/mad.gif">

Beaninator · Post by **Beaninator** » Fri Dec 22, 2000 4:45 am

goat-nog? tasty. made from the jizz of a thousand goat-boys

ZOMBIE USER 761 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 761** » Fri Dec 22, 2000 4:56 am

mmm...jizz...i mean ewwwwwwwww!! you sick bastard!!