By going to http://thisismylife.keenspace.com and giving me some feedback so I can improve. :)
ScottyT
Ack! Help me! Help me, please!
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RArcher
- Regular Poster
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- Location: Colenso, Natal, South Africa
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GRRRR
PLEASE!!! Keep the topic to the point on WHAT YOUR POST IS ABOUT... its a cheap thing to do what you did. Humour in topics is fine but thats stupid.Richard Archer
Writer of <A HREF="http://bigboet.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>
<img src="http://bigboet.keenspace.com/images/SADbanner.png" border="0"></A>
Writer of <A HREF="http://bigboet.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>
<img src="http://bigboet.keenspace.com/images/SADbanner.png" border="0"></A>
Richard, when you ask for opinions what you get can be harsh. Otherwise you might just ask people to "tell me that my comic is perfect so we can both move on with our lives" 
Back to the point of this topic: I think art is an important tool in comic making, but I don't prioritize it over humor. I like the humor of "This is My Life" and I think you're off to a good start!
- Liz
Back to the point of this topic: I think art is an important tool in comic making, but I don't prioritize it over humor. I like the humor of "This is My Life" and I think you're off to a good start!
- Liz
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Kevin Wolf
- Cartoon Hero
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- Location: Walking the Earth.
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Certainly an original premise (average joe terrorized by demented miniature stick-man), but I have some questions:
Who are these people? Your characters. Do they have names? Do they have jobs? How old are they? I can't tell. Are they brother/sister? Boy/girlfriend? Just two people living together? I think it would have been in your best interest to establish these people as characters over, say, a week's worth of strips before Sticky came in.
Secondly, who mailed Sticky? Are unnamed characters 1 and 2 intrigued enough to try and find out? Do they routinely receive strange packages containing hungry little homunculi?
Thirdly, just WHAT THE HELL IS that horrible little thing? He's obviously the star of the show, so let's find something out about him. Not too much, obviously, but the characters should be at least as curious about his origins as we are. Maybe they could investigate for us (see second point above).
Fourthly, and this is just a minor quibble, your comic's title ("This Is My Life") seems a bit odd. Do you, personally, live with a demented miniature stick-man? The "slice of life" nature of the title doesn't seem to mesh with the bizarre goings on contained therein.
I'll stop here, because I don't want to bum you out, get yelled at by RArcher, or sound like a hypocrite (check out Mythocorp and ask yourself-- What is Mythocorp? What are they doing? But at least my characters have names )
By the way, there's nothing wrong with your art. Look [url=http://sawdust.keenspace.com]here[url] for a fine example of rudimentary art coupled with realized characters and good writing.
Keep it up and keep improving.
Who are these people? Your characters. Do they have names? Do they have jobs? How old are they? I can't tell. Are they brother/sister? Boy/girlfriend? Just two people living together? I think it would have been in your best interest to establish these people as characters over, say, a week's worth of strips before Sticky came in.
Secondly, who mailed Sticky? Are unnamed characters 1 and 2 intrigued enough to try and find out? Do they routinely receive strange packages containing hungry little homunculi?
Thirdly, just WHAT THE HELL IS that horrible little thing? He's obviously the star of the show, so let's find something out about him. Not too much, obviously, but the characters should be at least as curious about his origins as we are. Maybe they could investigate for us (see second point above).
Fourthly, and this is just a minor quibble, your comic's title ("This Is My Life") seems a bit odd. Do you, personally, live with a demented miniature stick-man? The "slice of life" nature of the title doesn't seem to mesh with the bizarre goings on contained therein.
I'll stop here, because I don't want to bum you out, get yelled at by RArcher, or sound like a hypocrite (check out Mythocorp and ask yourself-- What is Mythocorp? What are they doing? But at least my characters have names
)By the way, there's nothing wrong with your art. Look [url=http://sawdust.keenspace.com]here[url] for a fine example of rudimentary art coupled with realized characters and good writing.
Keep it up and keep improving.
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BunELovecraft
- Regular Poster
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- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 4:00 pm
- Location: Steel City: Pittsburgh
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Well uh...
Well..... You did ask for an opinion and I'll give you a few, but I must split this up into my multiple personalities. Ahem...
Bunny (the nice side) sez: Well you do have a page up, mmhmm..yes, and you're not using hard to read colors but...perhaps some character stuff and...ACK!
Geli (the evil side) sez: Aw hush girl, this is my department. Sport, looks what you got here is a beginin' comic and everybody's gotta start somewheres, however...besides what's already been said...you might wanna not have your text set on "center" it just looks wrong and maybe have word balloons, write up an outline fer your jokes and stuf.... I know the people around here are harsh, I'd be worse if an Arthrillian Attomizer weren't pointed at my head, but everybody in keenspace has a comic that they love and cherish. Cruise the web and see how other web comics are done, it'll give you a few ideas. I guess the whole point about art is that it depends on if you're doing "joke du jour" or a long story line. goats.com is a joke of the day comic that kicks ass while megatokyo.com is a web manga with a continuous story. Look around grasshopper, live, learn. Now I must scram before Bunny erases my erogenous zones again...aheh....
Bunny: Manga characters, tch-they can be a pain.
Bunny (the nice side) sez: Well you do have a page up, mmhmm..yes, and you're not using hard to read colors but...perhaps some character stuff and...ACK!
Geli (the evil side) sez: Aw hush girl, this is my department. Sport, looks what you got here is a beginin' comic and everybody's gotta start somewheres, however...besides what's already been said...you might wanna not have your text set on "center" it just looks wrong and maybe have word balloons, write up an outline fer your jokes and stuf.... I know the people around here are harsh, I'd be worse if an Arthrillian Attomizer weren't pointed at my head, but everybody in keenspace has a comic that they love and cherish. Cruise the web and see how other web comics are done, it'll give you a few ideas. I guess the whole point about art is that it depends on if you're doing "joke du jour" or a long story line. goats.com is a joke of the day comic that kicks ass while megatokyo.com is a web manga with a continuous story. Look around grasshopper, live, learn. Now I must scram before Bunny erases my erogenous zones again...aheh....
Bunny: Manga characters, tch-they can be a pain.
http://www.onehouraxis.com
There is no emotion; there is peace.
There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
There is no passion; there is serenity.
There is no death; there is the Force.
There is no emotion; there is peace.
There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
There is no passion; there is serenity.
There is no death; there is the Force.
Thanks!
I'll try one massive reply to cover everything that's been said -- and thanks. I'm no stranger to harsh criticism, and am known for giving quite a bit of it, but I'm amazingly blind when it comes to my own work.
My drawing skills are sucky, but improving -- the one going up tonight (my Wednesday comic) has some better drawing than I've done so far. I'm just starting to vary the camera angles and so forth, so playing around with perspective is a new thing for me and I'm having fun with some offline practice. But yes, the learning curve will likely cause whiplash. :)
For Prism: Yeah, the art is unsophisticated, and I hope to improve that as I go. I think that's my biggest liability at this point.
Liz: I'm glad the jokes are working -- that's the part that's been intimidating me the most, since it's a very small format to work up to a punchline. I didn't expect that part to be so hard. Hats off to anyone who can do it.
Kevin: You talked a lot about character backgrounds. I've been working on intro-pages for each character, but have been waiting for my web-guy to get the new design ready. Would fast-tracking those backgrounds be a move that would help out, or should I actively address their relationships in the strips ASAP? As for who mailed Sticky and what exactly he is, those are planned plotlines for the future. As such, I want the mystery alive, but don't want to annoy the audience with overly strong hanging threads. As for the title, it refers to Cane. I sounds like something someone would say if they were completely overwhelmed (with THIS underlined) and I'm aiming for him to live in a constantly overwhelming world. Should that be pushed, or is it possible to take some time to develop it? (Thanks!)
BunELovecraft: I'm hoping to balance the long-plot with a joke-par-jour. I'm a huge Sluggy fan, and Boy Meets Boy and such, so I've seen others accomplish it, and I hope to be a mediocre imitation of the form. :) I'll look into speech bubbles -- I've been avoiding them because they're so easy to ruin, and since I draw on paper, scan it in, and then add the text, I'm worried about having fully PhotoShopped in. Any advice or info on how to do it well? :)
Again, thanks, all!
My drawing skills are sucky, but improving -- the one going up tonight (my Wednesday comic) has some better drawing than I've done so far. I'm just starting to vary the camera angles and so forth, so playing around with perspective is a new thing for me and I'm having fun with some offline practice. But yes, the learning curve will likely cause whiplash. :)
For Prism: Yeah, the art is unsophisticated, and I hope to improve that as I go. I think that's my biggest liability at this point.
Liz: I'm glad the jokes are working -- that's the part that's been intimidating me the most, since it's a very small format to work up to a punchline. I didn't expect that part to be so hard. Hats off to anyone who can do it.
Kevin: You talked a lot about character backgrounds. I've been working on intro-pages for each character, but have been waiting for my web-guy to get the new design ready. Would fast-tracking those backgrounds be a move that would help out, or should I actively address their relationships in the strips ASAP? As for who mailed Sticky and what exactly he is, those are planned plotlines for the future. As such, I want the mystery alive, but don't want to annoy the audience with overly strong hanging threads. As for the title, it refers to Cane. I sounds like something someone would say if they were completely overwhelmed (with THIS underlined) and I'm aiming for him to live in a constantly overwhelming world. Should that be pushed, or is it possible to take some time to develop it? (Thanks!)
BunELovecraft: I'm hoping to balance the long-plot with a joke-par-jour. I'm a huge Sluggy fan, and Boy Meets Boy and such, so I've seen others accomplish it, and I hope to be a mediocre imitation of the form. :) I'll look into speech bubbles -- I've been avoiding them because they're so easy to ruin, and since I draw on paper, scan it in, and then add the text, I'm worried about having fully PhotoShopped in. Any advice or info on how to do it well? :)
Again, thanks, all!
Heyhey!
Well, following some advice, I got the character backgrounds up and running this morning, which will help people know just who the heck they're looking at. And I spent some time on the characters, and you'll see in the background page and in the comic coming up on Friday that there's been some eye surgery. Cane's eyes were just plain stupid, and Lois' are now more expressive.
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Kevin Wolf
- Cartoon Hero
- Posts: 1232
- Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
- Location: Walking the Earth.
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I don't use Photoshop myself (PSP for me--hey, it was free), but I've heard that there are some pretty cool tricks you can use to create nice-looking speech balloons, so that you don't have to worry about free-handing it and screwing up.
I didn't mean to sound overly harsh earlier, but I'm a big fan of character, and one of the major sins of webcomics is that they often concentrate on two (maybe three, if we're lucky) chracters who are indiscernible. But don't feel you have to sacrifice jokes or story for character. Intertwine them. People do drop clues to their backgrounds and relationships in conversation in real life, so you can do the same.
Nice to hear that some of my questions are planned to be answered. And hey, it's your comic, so you can call it "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place", if you want to (though I wouldn't recommend it).
I didn't mean to sound overly harsh earlier, but I'm a big fan of character, and one of the major sins of webcomics is that they often concentrate on two (maybe three, if we're lucky) chracters who are indiscernible. But don't feel you have to sacrifice jokes or story for character. Intertwine them. People do drop clues to their backgrounds and relationships in conversation in real life, so you can do the same.
Nice to hear that some of my questions are planned to be answered. And hey, it's your comic, so you can call it "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place", if you want to (though I wouldn't recommend it).
You weren't overly harsh, Kevin -- you were truthful, and that's what I asked for and wanted. :) I'm a big boy, I can take constructive criticism. :)
I do plan on having 5 characters, with one side character in the works as well. And their personalities are distinctly different, though I'm trying to make them a little less clich
I do plan on having 5 characters, with one side character in the works as well. And their personalities are distinctly different, though I'm trying to make them a little less clich
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BunELovecraft
- Regular Poster
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- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 4:00 pm
- Location: Steel City: Pittsburgh
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bubbles
Ah yes, the mighty speech bubbly! There are pleanty of ways to do it. When I first started OHA, I did my bubbles free hand 
and it was hard to get everything in them. (Back then I also was using a different program to compress my jpegs and thus they're nearly illegible...aheh...) but recently I figured out about transparentcies and layers. Here's how my bubbles look now....
Big difference huh?
Anyway, here's two ways to do your bubbles:
Using Micrographix or Paintbrush that comes with windows (I ain't jokin'!):
Make your bubble by using the "create circle" tool in the masks then to make your pointer where the voice is coming from, use either the "writer" option for the mask or the "pull line" Now when you make the bubbles, MAKE THEM IN A SEP'RET FILE! Do NOT make them on your original image! What you'll be making with these bubbles are in effect little stickers to put on your images. Once you have a mask shaped like your bubble, either use the "Stroke mask" option to add your outline, or do that by hand using the airbrush. Next invert your mask and make the background all one color using the "bucket" tool. I usually use extremely bright color like neon green so that the devision of black and green is enough so when I use my "sticker" I don't have to feather.
Using your "sticker":
Once you have your bubbles made, open your comic image. Then mask the colored area behind your bubble. Invert the mask to select your bubble then copy it and paste on your image. Pull into place and smooth your layers. Then add your text.
In Paintbrush, everything WHITE is transparent. All you do is make your bubbles with color on the inside and white on the outside, lasso, copy and paste. Voila: your white part is clear and your color stays in place. Use your "bucket" tool again and change the inside to white. Add text. Sit back and laugh at the lowly scrubs still usin' templates by hand...hehehe....
Yeah, I know that was pretty random. D'you guys think I should do a visual tutorial or something? I wouldn't mind doing it if anybody really wanted to see it....
Bunny
and it was hard to get everything in them. (Back then I also was using a different program to compress my jpegs and thus they're nearly illegible...aheh...) but recently I figured out about transparentcies and layers. Here's how my bubbles look now....Big difference huh?
Anyway, here's two ways to do your bubbles:
Using Micrographix or Paintbrush that comes with windows (I ain't jokin'!):
Make your bubble by using the "create circle" tool in the masks then to make your pointer where the voice is coming from, use either the "writer" option for the mask or the "pull line" Now when you make the bubbles, MAKE THEM IN A SEP'RET FILE! Do NOT make them on your original image! What you'll be making with these bubbles are in effect little stickers to put on your images. Once you have a mask shaped like your bubble, either use the "Stroke mask" option to add your outline, or do that by hand using the airbrush. Next invert your mask and make the background all one color using the "bucket" tool. I usually use extremely bright color like neon green so that the devision of black and green is enough so when I use my "sticker" I don't have to feather.
Using your "sticker":
Once you have your bubbles made, open your comic image. Then mask the colored area behind your bubble. Invert the mask to select your bubble then copy it and paste on your image. Pull into place and smooth your layers. Then add your text.
In Paintbrush, everything WHITE is transparent. All you do is make your bubbles with color on the inside and white on the outside, lasso, copy and paste. Voila: your white part is clear and your color stays in place. Use your "bucket" tool again and change the inside to white. Add text. Sit back and laugh at the lowly scrubs still usin' templates by hand...hehehe....
Yeah, I know that was pretty random. D'you guys think I should do a visual tutorial or something? I wouldn't mind doing it if anybody really wanted to see it....
Bunny
http://www.onehouraxis.com
There is no emotion; there is peace.
There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
There is no passion; there is serenity.
There is no death; there is the Force.
There is no emotion; there is peace.
There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
There is no passion; there is serenity.
There is no death; there is the Force.
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RArcher
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 111
- Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
- Location: Colenso, Natal, South Africa
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OK OK... listen my grumpyness was not caused by the comic. ALL I WAS SAYING was it was poor form using a topic TITLE that made it seem like someone had technical trouble. He wants feedback on his comic (while it is a form of help) I think the topic title was misleading. And with refrence to another topic on this forum. I have little time to post. So I maybe look at one maybe two posts a day. It irratates me when I'm mislead.
Richard Archer
Writer of <A HREF="http://bigboet.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>
<img src="http://bigboet.keenspace.com/images/SADbanner.png" border="0"></A>
Writer of <A HREF="http://bigboet.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>
<img src="http://bigboet.keenspace.com/images/SADbanner.png" border="0"></A>
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ZOMBIE USER 9264
- Cartoon Hero
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- Joined: Sun Feb 27, 2005 2:26 am
Ooo!
Okay, so the speech bubbles have been added. I found a really great PhotoShop speech bubble tutorial over at <a href="http://www.makeshiftmiracle.com/Tutorials.html">The Makeshift Miracle</a>. Great site -- helped me learn how to use layers as well.
I also changed some of my drawing techniques! The eyes are different, and while still not perfect, they are a vast improvement over the O-eyes Cane started out with. I'm hoping to get in some pose practice, since these characters seem to be suffering from having bone structures formed out of bent steel -- they can't MOVE!
The main help with that will come in mid-July. I'm shacking up with someone, and he'll quickly find himself being posed and sketched.
Thanks again, peeps! And more constructive criticism is always welcome.
ScottyT
P.S. My web guy got a kick in the pants today. He's dragging his feet too much![/u]
I also changed some of my drawing techniques! The eyes are different, and while still not perfect, they are a vast improvement over the O-eyes Cane started out with. I'm hoping to get in some pose practice, since these characters seem to be suffering from having bone structures formed out of bent steel -- they can't MOVE!
The main help with that will come in mid-July. I'm shacking up with someone, and he'll quickly find himself being posed and sketched.
Thanks again, peeps! And more constructive criticism is always welcome.
ScottyT
P.S. My web guy got a kick in the pants today. He's dragging his feet too much![/u]
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Kevin Wolf
- Cartoon Hero
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