The "Let's Guess at Romance!" game!

[Furikku]

Let's guess at who's going to end up together in Hazard's Wake!

The rules:
1) Come up with a couple (or more! Or more than one couple! Or more than one more-than-couple!) who you think is likely to be/could be/would be fun seeing ending up together in Romantic Funtimes in the comic.
2) Come up with maybe some evidence as to why you feel this way, if you feel like it.
3) Argue endlessly about fine points of the comic that support/destroy your ideas!

I'ma start!

MaplexXantrich

Maple is the only person with the naivete pure heart and delusion ability to see beyond the outside enough to pierce Xantrich's cold exterior and find the lonely Woobie inside.

OK GO!

[Antonymous]

Solaria + Milliene! Because they're already friends, and Solaria is Milliene's only friend in the world, and they need each other. And because Milliene wants Solaria so badly. Erm, in my fan-view at least. Dubious evidence:

• She's rather clingy and attentive of late, perhaps more than mere friendship can explain.
• She's quick to be impressed by Solaria's daring deeds.
• She blushed when Solaria hugged her (and look where her hands went at first!).
• Similarly, when she hugged Solaria, Milliene's face showed something more than just sympathy (and look where her hands went at first!). It's as if she can't keep her desire in check when she gets her hands on her Holy Knight...

Maybe Solaria has other ideas. She was a bit fangirl over Cress when they first met, and blushingly asked about him before leaving Quadragulia. Then in her recap she had a picture of Cress (or else of someone else having his head eaten by smiling hair?) on her wall, like Kev's picture of Fatima. But he's a minor character* and not good enough for her.

Adoration should be directed to Solaria, not from her. Milliene knows this. Milliene can provide the attention she deserves. Milliene loves her. Milliene will make her happy. S&M 4ever!

*Poor Cress: he risks his life fighting demon after demon; he takes a Ba'al Ball to the chest and no one bothers to heal him; he agonizes over King Elm's order to kill Araceli, and eventually betrays the most powerful ruler in the world; he even has to put up with Maple! - and I still think of him as a minor character. Even though Haz obviously intends otherwise.

[Germ]

Maple is the only person with the naivete pure heart and delusion ability

I'll not have you maligning Maple, young lady. As I said in the chat box, Maple's perception is reality, and all else is delusion.

That said, Malbez-X-Hiro. It is in fact canon that the offspring of this happy couple is none other than Fatima. Word of God and all that.

(e: Unfortunately I have deleted the IRC logs where this was established)

(ee: Even if I hadn't, no way I'm hunting through 10+ MB of plaintext for it on a computer that doesn't have grep)

[Antonymous]

Any speculation on whether the princess is sleeping with her servant? Aileen is attracted to him, and I wouldn't put it past her to order him to keep her warm at night. We know nothing about his motivations so far, so we don't know how badly that would turn out...

[Antonymous]

Malbez-X-Hiro. It is in fact canon that the offspring of this happy couple is none other than Fatima.

Noooo! It can't be! Fatima is a pure and beautiful angel (of death) who descended from the heavens to cleanse the earth (of the highest bidder's enemies), not a child of mortal men!

no way I'm hunting through 10+ MB of plaintext for it on a computer that doesn't have grep

OT: there's a handy package of Windows ports of Unix utilities that solve this problem without having to install Cygwin.

[Isa]

I've got a whole lot of guesses, but they aren't too original. So I'll just give you one that that doesn't conflict with the obvious:

Kev x Maple

Mostly because each of them is all that the other can get. I mean, why would Cress or Exor pair up with Maple when they could have Araceli (or Solaria) and Fatima, respectively? And on the other hand, can anyone see any female character in this strip (aside from Maple, of course) choosing Kevinsky? Even if by rejecting Kev they ended up with no one?

I realize there are more characters involved than I just mentioned, but I doubt Aileen, Maxwell, or anyone else would interfere. Kev might face some competition from Hiro, though.

Oh, and for laughs: Tnacult x Fluffy.

[Furikku]

Maybe Solaria has other ideas. She was a bit fangirl over Cress when they first met, and blushingly asked about him before leaving Quadragulia. Then in her recap she had a picture of Cress (or else of someone else having his head eaten by smiling hair?) on her wall, like Kev's picture of Fatima. But he's a minor character* and not good enough for her.

I see no reason not to speculate on some kind of awesome Solaria Sandwich consisting of Milliene/Solaria/Cress. Well, other than the fact that Millaria is the One True Pairing and all others (involving Milliene and/or Solaria) are inferior.

Fatima is a pure and beautiful angel (of death) who descended from the heavens to cleanse the earth (of the highest bidder's enemies), not a child of mortal men!

This is 100% fact and piddly details like Word of God can't change it.

Anyway, another speculation:

Zenobia x Araceli.

*Exhibit A- Zenobia totally wants her.

*Araceli, having been raised in a tower by ghosts or whatever, has no experience and will probably go along with whatever.

*Exhibit B-

LOOOOOK AT IIIIIT! You can't argue with that, can you? NO! YOU CANNOT!

[Germ]

Anyway, another speculation:

Zenobia x Araceli.

*Exhibit A- Zenobia totally wants her.

*Araceli, having been raised in a tower by ghosts or whatever, has no experience and will probably go along with whatever.

I'm inclined to believe that Araceli would resist whatever, probably mistaking any sexual tension for Tri-orochi taking over or something.

*Exhibit B-

LOOOOOK AT IIIIIT! You can't argue with that, can you? NO! YOU CANNOT!

FFFFFFFFFfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

[Antonymous]

I see no reason not to speculate on some kind of awesome Solaria Sandwich consisting of Milliene/Solaria/Cress.

Milliene can be both sides of an Awesome Solaria Sandwich all by herself: Milliene-2/Solaria/Amena! Er, except for the problem of both personalities being around at the same time. And that Amena despises the "fake". And that Milliene-2 might be violently jealous about anyone else touching her Solaria.

This is 100% fact and piddly details like Word of God can't change it.

Indeed. Fanon and denial can overcome any mere evidence.

(Later that night: "Fati, honey... you - you are an angel, right?")

Zenobia x Araceli.

I am so on board with this. Exhibit B is awwsome, and who better to teach Araceli about her dark powers than a demoness?

...ok, maybe that's not what Zenobia wants to teach Araceli about.

[Furikku]

Here's two more for y'all.

1) Cress x Araceli

Look at them.

LOOOOOOOK AT THEMMMMMM.

Also, he didn't kill her, despite orders from the king, which is TOTALLY evidence of lurve! Totally!

Also also, Maple can tell he's got the hots for her, and Maple always knows what's up.

2) Alexander x Pindaris

Well, duh.

[Antonymous]

Alexander & Pindaris: yeah.

I can see Cress & Zenobia, or at least Cress having a crush on Zenobia. Who better for an ex-demon-hunter to fall for than a (sexily looming) demoness? And how better to torment Maple than to have Cress go not for her but for her possessor? (Or to have her wake up in Cress's bed when Zenobia runs out of possession-juice?)

This makes quite a chain of speculative crushes: Milliene -> Solaria -> Cress -> Zenobia -> Araceli. Can we do anything about the ends? Maxwell -> Milliene perhaps? (She's a vast improvement on Aileen.) Araceli -> ...uh, I'm drawing a blank here; somehow mortals seem beneath her and I don't think she likes the demonic demigods.

[Furikku]

No, I can totally see Araceli going for Cress, just based on 1) he doesn't look terrible and 2) he's taking care of her, so there's that whole slightly messed-up psychological situation.

I will not tolerate anyone breaking up MillienexSolaria or MaxwellxAileen. >:(

[Antonymous]

Hmm, maybe I'm underestimating the chance of Araceli liking anyone, because for some reason I see her as a little kid, like Sal - to be protected, not shipped. (I know, she's 17 and has other ideas...) Although Araceli being with Cress seems to me somehow more wrong than with Zenobia or one of her nightmare followers.

It just occurred to me that Maple/Cress might actually be plausible, if she manages to impress him a few more times. He's already been impressed that she's rich; he might be more impressed if she ever gets the collar off and Blue Souls him. Or if he discovers that the boring errands she's been running for Ethereal are actually vitally important saving-the-world missions. (The earth is rotting... I wonder if she's been healing it, a continent at a time?) Or if she turns out to know a whole lot about something obscure and crucial?

I will not tolerate anyone breaking up MillienexSolaria or MaxwellxAileen. >:(

Millaria is the OTP, of course - so if Haz wants to torment us the characters with inconsistent crushes, that would be the place to start. As for Aileen&Maxwell, I'm kinda worried it might be an abusive relationship, in which case Maxwell might well want to escape. Which would lead to drama.

[Furikku]

Yeah, I normally would not ship Araceli for the same reasons, only it's easy enough to go that direction with the application of late-bloomer puberty hormone rush + Protecty Hero Guy/Sexily Looming Gal.

I do not really want to think about Araceli and any nightmare followers. (This may seem strange, but nobody ever said I had to be consistent!)

[Germ]

Jeez, you guyz.

Milliene -> Solaria -> Cress -> Zenobia -> Araceli -> Fluffy -> Dr. Beer-head -> The tentacled eye god -> Exor (-Ken) -> Fatima -> Fatima's Sword -> Xantrich ->Valvalcia -> Gemmakante -> Scarm -> Earth -> Fire -> Wind -> Water -> Heart -> Go Planet -> Not-Kev -> Kevinsky -> Shin -> Aria -> Aria's Esper -> King Atrane -> Basilisk Mage 1 -> That Red-Haired NPC Who Shows Up Everywhere -> Aileen -> Maxwell -> The little goober on his shoulder -> Boobies -> Milliene.

It's so simple I don't know why I have to bother explaining it.

[Antonymous]

Fatima -> Fatima's Sword

You might be onto something there.

That Red-Haired NPC Who Shows Up Everywhere -> Aileen

Poor Some Guy. The Princess will never return his love, because he's common.

[Furikku]

Poor Some Guy. The Princess will never return his love, because he's common.

Also, male.

[Antonymous]

Huh? Maxwell is male too...

[Germ]

Technically, Aileen will never return his love because he's not Aileen.

[Antonymous]

Poor Maple: for some reason guys aren't interested in her. I can't imagine why.

Except one. Who sent Maple a bodyguard? Who cast a powerful spell to protect her? Who watches her obsessively? Talon! If she ever finds out, she'll think this means ♥love♥. And maybe, for once, Talon will be receptive...

Maple/Talon!