Impossible Love (weird pairings you ship)

[Brynnie-chan]

Okay, I know this topic has probably come up A LOT. But as someone who supports weird/creepy/impossible pairings in almost every anime she watches (Orochimaru/Anko, Hisoka/Muraki, and a few less notable others), I wanted to A) find out about other people's secret impossible shippings and B) share a little story. But the story comes later.

Hellsing has the widest array of opinions on pairings I've ever seen (Naruto doesn't count). There are people who say no pairing would ever really work; it's not a romantic anime. There are people who say the OTPs - Pip/Seras, Alucard/Integra, and to some degree, Young Walter/Girlycard - are the only ones that would work. There are people with fringe pairings they aren't sure about but like anyway (Alucard/Seras, Integra/Seras, Integra/Maxwell, Anderson/Seras). And there are people whose pairings are, by most judgments, just plain scary (Alucard/Anderson, Major/Integra, Incognito/Anyone).

The problem is, usually the off-kilter pairings don't really have that much out there. Only a few good fanfictions, a few more really worthwhile fanarts, and compared to the OTPs, very few supporters. So this place is for people to vent their frustrations.

As for the story...well, my slightly off-kilter pairings are Alucard/Seras and Alucard/Rip. As I was searching for a certain avvie about the latter pairing, I realized that Google had found 666 matches. My reaction: "Maybe it's a bad omen?...Cool! *continues scrolling*"

Now! On with the mind-breaking!

[Xuanwu]

Alucard/Rippy is easy. I've seen fanart of it on DevArt.

I ship Integra/Rippy! Mainly because it's hot, but also because I think their personalities (if Rippy reformed or Integra turned evil) would make for some interesting interactions.

[Known Stranger]

The Alucard/Rip pairing kinda scares me...if the characters are kept to cannon it would be more of a sexual relationship...and Alucard'd call all the shots.

...but I shouldn't talk, out of boredom I occasionaly pair Integra and Anderson, as well as Dok and Rip.
The rest of the time it's Integra/Alucard and Rip/Hans for me.

[Silentmagi]

Before a recent storyline in And Shine, I hadn't considered this pairing, but now I have to admit it's a fun one...

Schrodinger and Seras, and I'll stand by it.

[Chaos Priest]

I may ship Schrodinger. He is in everybody's pants and nobody's pants

[BigKwell]

Integra/Seras for me.

[Atticusblackwolf]

I may ship Schrodinger. He is in everybody's pants and nobody's pants

I think someone has said it before but

"The award for most molestable nazi goes to..."

[SailorPtah]

He is in everybody's pants and nobody's pants

QFT!

I have the Rip/Dandy subplot in Shine (not a word, Xuanwu), even though we've never seen them together in canon. What can I say? It entertains me

Also, while I have a particular fondness for Heinkel/Yumi(e/ko), I mentally shuffle the pairings in Iscariot like a deck of cards.

[Xuanwu]

(not a word, Xuanwu)

...

Also, while I have a particular fondness for Heinkel/Yumi(e/ko), I mentally shuffle the pairings in Iscariot like a deck of cards.

Or do you mean "shuffle like a stack of Anderson's flying holy script pages?"

[Brynnie-chan]

Alucard/Rippy is easy. I've seen fanart of it on DevArt.

I ship Integra/Rippy! Mainly because it's hot, but also because I think their personalities (if Rippy reformed or Integra turned evil) would make for some interesting interactions.

That's the thing. There's some fanart, but not a lot of it. And regrettably little fanfiction (that's worth reading). The really good writers are blinded by the canon pairings... Sad.

Integra/Rip sounds okay, mainly because they're bizarrely similar and they look like Bizarro-versions of each other. Hee.

He is in everybody's pants and nobody's pants

QFT!

I have the Rip/Dandy subplot in Shine (not a word, Xuanwu), even though we've never seen them together in canon. What can I say? It entertains me

I wish there was a little more of that. So many people seem to put Rip with Luke... or Jan... or the Major. (Guuhhhhh...) At least with Dandy (or Hans) it makes marginal sense.

[Thess]

There are people who say the OTPs - Pip/Seras, Alucard/Integra, and to some degree, Young Walter/Girlycard - are the only ones that would work.

Young Walter/Girlycard on par with Alucard/Integra and Pip/Seras? o.O Girlycard/Walter is not even remotely close to canon (in the official manga), placing it on par with canon-based pairings is bit too much. But if you mean in popularity, yes, it is, in the English fandom, anyway, Walter's more often paired up with Integra in the Japanese one (can't count me as fan of either couple). Moving on...

Crack/Alt ships* I like: Integra/Seras, Anderson/Alucard, Anderson/Integra, Mina/Abraham, Butler/Captain, Heinkel/Integra, Heinkel/Seras, Yumiko/Maxwell (crossfire), Zorin/Rip, Islands/Arthur/Penwood, Dok/Shi (thanks to Solid&Etc hilarious picture), Dok/Captain, Anderson/Maxwell, Captain/Seras, Captain/Integra, Schrödinger/Seras. I dabble a little in Dandy/Rip too.

*This be anything that isn't canon or canon-likely ergo no Mina/Dracula, no Integra/Alucard, no Pip/Seras; and, to a degree, no Heinkel/Yumie, Alucard/Rip -sans romance it's just sexual- & Arthur/Alucard -who according to Hirano went out in 'dates' take it as you will-

[Chaos Priest]

*This be anything that isn't canon or canon-likely ergo no Mina/Dracula

That's canon?!

Okay, I haven't been able to read any of the manga past volume 8 yet so I may have missed it, but unless I'm misremembering things (and given my memory that's a very real possibly ) in Dracula at least the extent of their relationship was Dracula drinking her blood and then cutting open his chest and forcing Mina to drink in a way that fairly symbolic of rape, complete with Mina calling herself unclean afterward. And this kind of a relationship is canon?

[Thess]

Yes, at least from his side (we never met Hellsing's version of Mina), Hirano admitted in pannels that despite following mostly the plot of the book, he lifted the romantic element from Coppola's movie (without the reincarnation... I believe), so yes, pretty much. IMO, Dracula wanted Mina (crossed the ocean for her, explicitly said in v7 during the past-present comparison) as much Vlad wanted God's kingdom as Alucard wants Integra (who, IMO, stands as religious AND a romantic interest, embodies all he lost wrapped in a single package -- how convenient!). Those are the decisive dreams/goals for each lifetime he pursued and whose success is linked to his state (as man-monster-dog) and if he has something left (castle, servants, country): when he lost the battle, he lost his status and his goal (along with all of his world), except for obviously the Manga resolution when he finally wins. As much as I dislike Mina/Dracula (probably my LoEG preferences showing), I have to bow down to her importance in Dracula's life and her phantom in Alucard's.

But this is carry on OT. Crack for Dracula, I'm extremely fond of Mina/Lucy. Hush.

[Chaos Priest]

Oh come now, that hardly counts as a crack pairing. I mean, who doesn't ship Mina/Lucy?

[Xuanwu]

Erin recently posted a little pic that made me think of a new pairing possibility: Rip x Laura! (The idea comes from when looking at the pic, seeing Laura's smile, and then wondering where her hand is.) They're both classy vamps, after all, though Laura might see Rip the same way Alucard sees her: a cheap knock-off. But it's fun to imagine.

[Thess]

Oh come now, that hardly counts as a crack pairing. I mean, who doesn't ship Mina/Lucy?

They do have a romantic friendship.

Rip can't really call anyone a cheap knock off, considering all Millennium vamps are that. Laura/Rip is intriguing since Laura is the sadist!rapist!type and Rip is a masochist.

[Chickenperson]

I ship SchrodingerxIncognito. I believe I am the only one. Let me explain...I ship this in a fourth-wall-broken-united-against-fans kind of way, since they exist in diff. canons. But think about it-Incognito and Schro are mysterious in that they get zero backstory and seem to exist solely to fulfill some purpose. Incognito just comes in, causes trouble, and dies. Schro commits suicide to kill Alucard. And they both fail: Alucard kills Incognito and returns in Romancia to drink Inty's blood. I imagine that if there was an afterlife where all the dead from all the canons of Hellsing went, Schro and Incognito would be friendly. (Incidentally, if you could get there somewhere with the fourth wall down, the fans keep raping Schro and mocking Incognito for his lack of reproductive organs. I'm sure they could find common ground.)
For the weirdest crossover pairing ever, however, I have to admit that I saw some Edward Cullen/Integra somewhere *coughandIwrotesomecough* and it scared me. Canonwise I ship Pip/Seras, Alucard/Integra, Alucard/coffin...

[astharoshe]

i myself ship integraXrippy X3

an example of how hot it is http://maryetten.deviantart.com/art/Yur ... -104098674

[BigKwell]

I was wondering... does shipping a Hellsing character with a character from ANOTHER anime count on this thread?!? I'd like to know!

[Brynnie-chan]

I was wondering... does shipping a Hellsing character with a character from ANOTHER anime count on this thread?!? I'd like to know!

I'm gonna say yes, because it gives me an excuse to explain the most cracky pairing I ship (which is partly Shine's fault): Alucard/Yomiko Readman.

These two are my two favorite anime characters ever in the history of the world, no matter what other animes I love. I think they'd be a good couple in part because they are polar opposites. Alucard is predacious, arrogant, sadistic, sexual, laughs when he's killing people, and usually reserves his respect for only those with great power or potential. Yomiko is meek, wholesome, fights only when she has to, treats her powers as if they are nothing more special than the ability to wiggle her toes, and is arguably much more friendly than Alucard. The few things they have in common are important: power, and the hatred of those who abuse it. They would balance each other out. (I've even secretly though of them as my shoulder angel and shoulder devil before...)

I also would just really like to see a conversation between Alucard and Yomiko where the first thing she says, in a shocked tone, is: "...You're DRACULA!" And the only reason she knows is because of the novel's description. (Then again, Alucard probably does look very different from the book's description...maybe a history book would be better?) If they enbded up fighting, Alucard would either be immensely pleased, or slightly annoyed, to realize that Yomiko memorized every single way to stop a vampire the book (or any book) listed. So he'd have to overcome rice getting thrown in his way, Yomiko running over a river on a paper bridge, etc.