The Bad Characterization Thread or 'Lawfull Stupid Paladins'

[Narf the Mouse]

Some gamers want their GM to try to slaughter the PCs. Trouble is, 'GM' can cover a lot of different outlooks and attitudes.

Look up GNS and related theories if you want to see how hairy differing attitudes at the table can get.

[FirstAidKit]

... Wait, it's not my job to kill my players?

You mean it's not my job to kill them QUICKLY! I have to let the suffering drag on for a few sessions, let them start to settle into their skills and characters and THEN kill them .

Nah, I have to say I like it better when they win out of the challenging stuff. That grin of achievement is great to see. Of course, the cringe of fear isn't bad either, but still. I had one point where I set off a 3/round spawn of low level zombies, a pair of gargoyles and a flesh golem on my players (barb, ranger, rogue, warrior). They split up and it became the most epic battle ever. I'll write it up once I finish my exam tomorrow. It'll be good stress relief!

[Aldagrim]

Well, I like a bit of story to go along with someone trying to kill me. I guess that's the reason why I could never get into D&D that much. Not enough chance for a storyline.

[Narf the Mouse]

Oh, come on. You've got insane, evil gods, creatures of pure destruction, *Two* warring factions of demons, diabolical plotters of pure evil (Drow, Illithid, Yuan-ti and Rakshasha just ooze story!) a walking, nigh-indestructable stomach - The Zhenterim are a whole campaign unto themselves and there's nothing saying they have to be in Faerun - And if you can't get story out of vampires (Power-mad, life-drinking, almost unkillable undead!) and liches (Spell-casting wizards who risked their very souls to the claws of the Abyss for a chance at immortality!), dopplegangers...Dragons have an high Int score, you can use them as more than 'Thing with breath weapon'...

...Your PC been resurected? You want plot? Send a creature of the Plane of Law after them. Cheating Death. And then there's those two warring factions of monks in the Astral Plane...

...Hobgoblins = Roman Empire, see where it goes.

Yes, it has probably about a thousand 'Things to kill'. That doesn't mean you have to run them as 'Monster of the week'.

...Er, sorry for any insult.

[Cloud213]

I dont get how they come back as adults when you reincarnate them.

[Punstarr]

Guys check this out... considering our recent topic, this is hilarious.

http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/ ... ttext_0912

[Aldagrim]

...Er, sorry for any insult.

Oh, no insult taken. That just shows how woefully inept my past GMs have been. It was so bad I stopped playing long enough to give my books away.

[Narf the Mouse]

Depends; I mean, the other players may have wanted to just hack'n'slash. But yeah, I can't see how an experienced GM couldn't get good story out of D&D.

Although I do fear for fourth edition. Granted, there's things in there that are hopefull, but there's things in there that make me remember my excitement over Oblivion.

[Thanatos5150]

Guys check this out... considering our recent topic, this is hilarious.

http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/ ... ttext_0912

In response to the last bit -

"Blackleaf, NO!"

[Dustman]

Wow. I found the link to the Chick Tract in the comments. I mean wow, holy freaking wowie wow, I thought it was a parody until the last few panels or so.

Wow.

[Narf the Mouse]

I dont get how they come back as adults when you reincarnate them.

Yeah, I'd just have them come back at the same age, or someone could exploit it for cheap immortality. (Given the rate at which D&D characters tend to gain levels, the level loss is an entirely acceptable cost)

Hey! New D&D cult - Every twenty years, they kill and reincarnate their leader to provide immortality.

Plot Hooks:
1) Leader wants 1000gp, decides to loot for it. (Simple, cheap)
2) Leader wants to die naturally, takes off. Cult in pursuit; The Holy Bob must be 'persuaded' of his importance.
3) Cult is after the wrong person; PC looks like The Holy Bob.
4) Someone is impersonating The Holy Bob.
5) Cult decides to make money selling its 'I Can't Believe It's Not Immortality!' services.
6) Due to 'bad' Reincarnation roll, party mistakes The Holy Bob for a monster.
7) Party decides to free the cult from the influence of The Holy Bob.
8) Party succeeds at freeing the cult; cult is now up to something else/related activities.
9) Party decides to take over the cult.

[Aldagrim]

Wow. I found the link to the Chick Tract in the comments. I mean wow, holy freaking wowie wow, I thought it was a parody until the last few panels or so.

Wow.

Yeah, I don't remember where, but I only know that because I saw a site where they took that tract and added the characters from Mystery Science Theater 3000 in the foreground making comments. I'm a Christian and Mr. Chick offended me. I mean, come on, he even suggested burning books by Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. C.S. Lewis!!! Okay, rant over. Can we forget that tract ever existed? Please?

Sooo...paladins not getting ride is just silly. It seems like a noobish thing. I've done it. I was a noob. Therefore, it seems like a noobish thing to do.