beecham!

[Steve Tonks]

Hi everyone

I've just started a comic called beecham! its about a group of four friends and follows what they get up to in everyday life... well in fact most of it is based on real things that have happened.

I'm just starting out, got just over 20 comics now and am updating 3 times a week (apart from over the holiday period at christmas as I didn't have access to computer to upload), I have done other comics back when this place was still called Keenspace called Warp Factor 10 and Tyler which now I look back on I see that my art style has changed a lot over the years!

Anyway, let me know what you think, first impressions.

Thanks

[Steve Tonks]

anyone out there?

[[AOD]]

The good thing is that your art style and website design should receive top marks -- colour, easy to read format, clean linework: all show definite signs of commitment and developed artistic style. However, where this comic lacks is in writing.

Although billed as a comedy, to be frank, I simply don't find it particularly funny. The characters didn't grab my attention greatly, and the gags are lacklustre at best, and seemingly nonexistent in some strips. Oftentimes, the first two panels seem to build towards a comedic punchline, only to be deflated by a rather poorly-executed denouement.

I'd suggest working harder in this regard. But good effort. I think that it has potential.

@~AOD

[Rao!]

You forgot to say 'hi' from my part, [AoD]

If I may add something: your art tends to be somewhat... repetitive. Some comics have for all intent and purposes three identical panels, which at least to me isn't exactly enticing.

Your art is unique enough, but you have to play with it more. Play with the camera, change the zoom sometimes, small things.

[Glambourine]

I think the art works okay for what you're trying to do--it's not spectacular, but it's clean and gets the idea across.

The problem is that with a strip concept like this, the writing needs to be top-notch, and it just isn't. Every strip has something that's theoretically funny, but as was said, the execution needs to be better. Humor is about surprise, and these strips aren't surprising at all--every time I got to the end of a strip, I thought "Oh, okay, I guess you could call that funny", which is not the reaction you should be going for.

I think it might help to focus on the characters more--the best strips are probably the ones with Vaughn and the Christmas tree and the one where the bald fellow gives up smoking and drinking for the year 2008. Those work because they're based on character humor, not just situational humor. It's a weird line, but I think that with practice and a willingness to experiment, you'll walk it well.

Good luck!