How to Piss Off Hellsing Characters

[Brynnie-chan]

I thought this idea up a couple weeks ago, when I was chatting with my little brother in the kitchen. So far, though, I can only think of one really good one. I wanted to see if you guys can come up with any more.

Here's mine:

Drink a glass of generic Stop-n-Shop grape juice in front of Seras, really, really, s-l-o-w-l-y. Act like you're relishing every sip. For added effect, stick your canine teeth in the glass.

(Note: In the proper light, Stop-n-Shop grape juice looks red. Hence, the joke.)

[Collyer-san]

This one Might Get you Killed, But...

Claim to Hate all Protestants in front of Integra. Make a Song, Just to make it Worse, if you want.

[Mrrout]

call Integra "my little girl", and pat her head

[Chaos Priest]

Call Seras "my girl" and pat her, um, elsewhere...

[Horselover_Frost]

To Alucard: Hey nice coat and guns! Going to a devil may cry convention?

[Gregor]

To Heinkel: ask her which nationality she belongs to (she's austrian if I'm right) and then associate Austria with all the cliches from the "Sound of Music"-Musical (evary Austrian - including me, and Heinkel i think - would then be pissed off and/or pretend to be australian)

That probably works also on some of the Millenium-Nazis. (I'don't exactly know where the major, Rip, and so on come from but there's a little chance that one of them is from Austria.)

[Horselover_Frost]

How about singing "Give Peace a Chance" to the Major? Or comparing Doc's shirt to Brittany Spears?

I can't think of any for Schroe. I'm pretty sure it would be near impossible to get him upset, much less angry.

[Brynnie-chan]

How about singing "Give Peace a Chance" to the Major?

Or "War" by Edwin Starr.

Here's a few:

Start singing all of Samiel's lines from Der Freischütz whenever Rip van Winkle's around. (Or just keep making Headless Horseman jokes. Either way, she'll kill you.)

Tell Alucard his hat looks stupid. (I feel ashamed even typing that...)

Have a gay pride parade right outside the Vatican. Or Iscariot's base. Hell, this might work for Millenium, too.

[Reaver225]

Wipe out all the freaks in the countryside using the normal army (judicious airforce help needed) and 'just happen' to mention it to Integra. Couple it with a budget cutback for Hellsing.

[Frey]

Driving blessed silver stakes into Zorin Blitz while she is bonded against a wall with wild roses around her and telling her that she is an "bleeping" ugly freak "bleep" and that Millennium does not need a reckless loud-mouth "bleep" like her and that she deserves to be burned by the chip inside her.

Giving Maxwell a severe beating (particulary to his face) and telling him that he is no Christian but just a power hungry dehumanizing bastard and that he deserves to be excommunicated by the Pope.

[Xuanwu]

This one Might Get you Killed, But...

Claim to Hate all Protestants in front of Integra. Make a Song, Just to make it Worse, if you want.

Singing "Every Sperm is Sacred" in front of Integra would probably work, too.

"Spay and neuter your pet" posters would work on Alucard. In fact, I bet Alucard hates Bob Barker.

[Reaver225]

I don't think Integra would be that annoyed by the sacred sperm song - it's Monty Python! Also, it's satire SUPPOSED to make fun of silly Catholics.

[Shadowfax272]

I thought this idea up a couple weeks ago, when I was chatting with my little brother in the kitchen. So far, though, I can only think of one really good one. I wanted to see if you guys can come up with any more.

Here's mine:

Drink a glass of generic Stop-n-Shop grape juice in front of Seras, really, really, s-l-o-w-l-y. Act like you're relishing every sip. For added effect, stick your canine teeth in the glass.

(Note: In the proper light, Stop-n-Shop grape juice looks red. Hence, the joke.)

What about Kool-Aid?

[Brynnie-chan]

I thought this idea up a couple weeks ago, when I was chatting with my little brother in the kitchen. So far, though, I can only think of one really good one. I wanted to see if you guys can come up with any more.

Here's mine:

Drink a glass of generic Stop-n-Shop grape juice in front of Seras, really, really, s-l-o-w-l-y. Act like you're relishing every sip. For added effect, stick your canine teeth in the glass.

(Note: In the proper light, Stop-n-Shop grape juice looks red. Hence, the joke.)

What about Kool-Aid?

Hmm. I wouldn't know seeing as I haven't drank Kool-Aid since it stopped coming in plastic bottles with silly faces. Or was that something else?

[Shadowfax272]

They don't sell it here, but apparently it's red.

[Atticus_blackwolf]

cool aid makes good popicles. .......mmmm blood pops

[Brynnie-chan]

March around outside Anderson's window with a sign that says "Dan Brown is God."

[Horselover_Frost]

Wear a flying spaghetti monster or invisible pink unicorn t-shirt near any Iscariot member.

[LordDeraj]

Say Rip van's flat

[Chaos Priest]

Say Rip van's flat

Referring to her chest, her singing, or both?

I do kinda wonder which one she'd assume at first.