Comic critique and clean-up!

Kilre · Post by **Kilre** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 6:52 pm

I meant to have a plug in TnT after my current act/chapter of Beautiful Skies had concluded, but I'm in dire need of a critique of my work so far. I've gotten two comments in the past few months (within the last few weeks, even) that point to my tendency to draw confusing pages.

I could go through my archives and find a few pages that are eyesores to me, but since I'm the artist I drew what I wanted...and therefore understand the pages only because I'm the one who gave them digital life.

If it's not too much, I'd really like a critique of my art thus far, and specific pages to work on/improve would really be great

Thanks ahead of time!

Link is in the sig, the banner for Beaut(i)ful Skies below. (I forgot the 'I')

Edit: I'm already scheduling maintenance days for the current page and http://bskies.comicgenesis.com/d/20060914.html , for aesthetic reasons.

Black Sparrow · Post by **Black Sparrow** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:05 pm

Hmm... Your proportions and everything are great, but I can see how your art is confusing. It's all in your penning. You have so much shading that your outlines get lost. While shading does look cool, outlines have a tendency to be the most important part of the drawing.

You might try getting pens of different sizes and outlining with the bigger to shade with and do detailwork with the smaller. Play around with stuff like that. You have all the time in the world to experiment.

Not much of a critique, but harsher ones are sure to follow.

Kilre · Post by **Kilre** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:20 pm

I was afraid that might be a problem. Going through a few pages with your words in mind, I can see pages where some outlines bleed into the hatching.

There are several pages where I intentionally bled lines together, but they're probably not the pages being so confusing...or maybe they are.

Not to justify myself (and I kinda am), but I do like losing outlines...sometimes. Not all the time, but there were a few times where I liked it where things got lost within some shapes.

Adobedragon · Post by **Adobedragon** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 1:20 pm

...<i>.but there were a few times where I liked it where things got lost within some shapes.</i>

I really like this element of your style as well. The raw, energetic pen strokes are also very appealing. My suggestion would be to sharpen the details around the important visual elements in the narrative, guiding the reader's eye across the page from one point of interest to another, while maintaining the softer blending in the background.

Although your style is wonderful from an artistic standpoint, it seems to obscure the action at times.

For example, initially, on the first page, I wasn't sure if the character firing the weapon was the narrator, your protagonist. The drawing is positively "zinging" with great gesture and energy, but his features are all but obscured. I don't get a good look at him until the bottom-left of the panel. (Remember, this is my introduction to your character.)

Perhaps, anytime he's doing something plot-worthy you could sharpen and heighten the contrast around those areas. Also, when there are two or more characters on scene, try to bring out distinctive features of each, so dummies like me can tell them apart.

All in all, it's a cool comic. Love the gritty storyline and your character [creature] design.

Cheers.

Kilre · Post by **Kilre** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 2:14 pm

I assume you're referring to http://bskies.comicgenesis.com/d/20050327.html ...yeah

I didn't know what I was doing when I made those first ten pages. Really, I had just gone from one-panel satire comics to multi-panel continuous, and it's safe to say I didn't know jack when I was happily, obliviously, sketching those pages out.

What I've gotten so far is that I need to work on distinguishing between important areas of conflicting lines. That is doable, indeed.

Yeahduff · Post by **Yeahduff** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 7:09 pm

It's an interesting style, but you're gonna have to work on it. You NEED to clarify thing, because way too often there's imagery that you just can't make out what it is. Maybe your characters would be well served by having silhouettes that are easily recognized, so the details aren't so important. I dunno, but ya gotta come up with something because while it's pretty, you have no clarity.

Kilre · Post by **Kilre** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 3:52 pm

That's 5 points in favor of confusing drawin's! I've started to go back and add thick(er) outlines to the archive pages. I'm hoping that that was what will be needed (for now).

Edit: Going back through, some pages look really tight with outlines over the characters. Thanks for the suggestions!

Swikan · Post by **Swikan** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 4:01 pm

I do like the sketchy look with the bold outlines a LOT! That's a great style.

AVEM · Post by **AVEM** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 3:45 pm

Oooh, I lovuh, lovuh, love the bold outlines and the grescaling. It works well with your comic. But I dont like the uh....little sketchies...inside the art. The lines? I think those'd look better blurred slightly or something of the like. That's what I think, anyway. *shrug* It looks just a little messy. I'm saying just a little because cleaning it up TOO MUCH would get rid of a part of what I like about it. SO it should be cleaned up to look less sketchy, but just a little. DO I make a lick of sense?

Awesome Character design, BTW.