Part Three - Because I Can't Stop!

Part Three - Because I Can't Stop!

Postby Rokas on Sat Jul 29, 2006 8:41 pm

Removed
Last edited by Rokas on Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:56 am, edited 4 times in total.
User avatar
Rokas
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 356
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:20 pm
Location: Somewhere in Occupied Florida...

Postby Rokas on Sat Jul 29, 2006 8:44 pm

Removed
Last edited by Rokas on Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
I really don't care anymore.
TANSTAAFL
Stockholder of CHOAM, UAC, and Liandri.
Wurfle!
User avatar
Rokas
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 356
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:20 pm
Location: Somewhere in Occupied Florida...

Postby Dapple on Sat Jul 29, 2006 8:53 pm

Gasps, another update, so soon, I admire such dedication.
Plus it gives me something to do other than check back here every half hour or so.
Trogdor Bruninating the Country side....
http://www.homestarrunner.com/trogday.html

And now for something completely different
http://allyourbase.planettribes.gamespy ... view.shtml
hehe
User avatar
Dapple
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 349
Joined: Sun Feb 13, 2005 7:11 pm
Location: Colorado

Postby BrockthePaine on Sat Jul 29, 2006 9:47 pm

I must confess I'm still enjoying this story immensely.

We now know:
1. The human government is interstellar, with four dozen worlds; it is named the Terran Commonwealth.
2. The "thing in the sky" is, in fact, another planet (Remus) which is paired with Romulus (Been watching Star Trek, have we, Rokas? :wink:)
3. The Terran Commonwealth has the need to build military starships, but it is at peace (pirates are mentioned); there is some concern of some enemy using WMDs against civilian strikes (terrorism?).
4. Questions about lux are not answered, but viable assertions are made for it's different nature (I like the comment about viscousity particularly).

I am also getting the feeling that the Terran Commonwealth has never met ANY aliens in its expansion, otherwise there'd probably be a huge committee of xenologists already on the scene.

Edit: One more thing - go back and double-check your affect/effects. I recall seeing one "affect" which should have been "effect". That was the only big grammar spelling error I noticed. Other than that, just shiny!
Last edited by BrockthePaine on Sat Jul 29, 2006 9:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
It does not take a majority to prevail ... but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men. - attributed to Samuel Adams

“To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them.” - Richard Henry Lee
User avatar
BrockthePaine
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1538
Joined: Sun Apr 30, 2006 12:45 pm
Location: Further up and further in!

Postby Anthony Lion on Sat Jul 29, 2006 9:55 pm

I never liked the reveille, either...

:-)
My name is Lion, Anthony Lion.
A fur with a license to purr
User avatar
Anthony Lion
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 298
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2004 2:32 am
Location: Norway

Postby Rokas on Sun Jul 30, 2006 5:25 am

BrockthePaine wrote:2. The "thing in the sky" is, in fact, another planet (Remus) which is paired with Romulus (Been watching Star Trek, have we, Rokas? :wink:)

Actually, it's mythology. :p I came up with a double-planet system, but then had to find an appropriate name for the two. As Castor and Pollux are already taken by celestial bodies, the Roman twins came to mind.

3. The Terran Commonwealth has the need to build military starships, but it is at peace (pirates are mentioned); there is some concern of some enemy using WMDs against civilian strikes (terrorism?).


Terrorism is always a concern where there is civlization. Some people just can't leave well enough alone.

Also, "peace" is a relative term. Nor is it required to be extant over all places at all times.

I am also getting the feeling that the Terran Commonwealth has never met ANY aliens in its expansion, otherwise there'd probably be a huge committee of xenologists already on the scene.


OR, they could have encountered an alien species, and thus it isn't "big news" anymore. :p

Edit: One more thing - go back and double-check your affect/effects. I recall seeing one "affect" which should have been "effect". That was the only big grammar spelling error I noticed. Other than that, just shiny!


Dagnabbit. That'll have to wait 'til after work.
I really don't care anymore.
TANSTAAFL
Stockholder of CHOAM, UAC, and Liandri.
Wurfle!
User avatar
Rokas
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 356
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:20 pm
Location: Somewhere in Occupied Florida...

Time for the creator to whine some more.....

Postby RHJunior on Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:34 am

Good stuff thus far.... though the meeting devolved rapidly into a <bleep>-swinging contest... with the racconans coming out looking like fools. :P

Afraid you've touched on one of my pet peeves there---
the "physics are different here" cliche', along with its subsidiary, "magic doesn't work here because." My own established rule--- one I put down out of annoyance with that particular gambit--- is that if magic works anywhere, it has to work everywhere, the same as time, gravity, electricity, or any other natural force. If the physics changed from one universe to the next, anyone traveling from one universe to the next would die instantly... because the same forces that govern all that unpleasant technology the writer wants to god-game out of the story, are the same forces that effect the molecular structure and biochemical functions of a living creature.

I know you wanted to limit the strength of the racconan's hand in this game, but in light of a spaceship filled with nukes pointed at them, rendering them magically helpless by altering the laws of physics was a bit of overkill. (And considering that the "alien threat" crashlanded in a BLIMP, coming down all hot and heavy with threats of nukes and railguns is a good bit of overkill on the part of the Commander, in and of itself. Seriously, is any commander going to blow the bejeesus out of his command center and a city of umpty million people for the sake of a dozen furry midgets, no matter how supposedly dangerous they are?)

Speaking as the guy who CREATED them, I'm starting to feel just a little bit powergamed here. Hell..... I'm starting to feel like a kid whose sister stole all his GI joes and dressed them up in Barbie clothes while he was away.

You didn't just write this just to prove your Space Marines could beat up my raccoon wizards any old day of the week, did you?
"What was that popping noise ?"
"A paradigm shifting without a clutch."
--Dilbert
RHJunior
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1689
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: WV

Postby Rokas on Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:59 am

I see that once again, I have misjudged what is appropriate.

I apologize to you, RH. Though it was not my intention to offend, we both know that intentions mean nothing, actions mean everything.

Thus, I'll remove this offensive story and never post it anywhere again. On this, you have my word, whether you trust it or not.
I really don't care anymore.
TANSTAAFL
Stockholder of CHOAM, UAC, and Liandri.
Wurfle!
User avatar
Rokas
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 356
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:20 pm
Location: Somewhere in Occupied Florida...

Postby BrockthePaine on Sun Jul 30, 2006 9:12 am

Bummer... *sniffs*
It does not take a majority to prevail ... but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men. - attributed to Samuel Adams

“To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them.” - Richard Henry Lee
User avatar
BrockthePaine
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1538
Joined: Sun Apr 30, 2006 12:45 pm
Location: Further up and further in!

Postby RHJunior on Sun Jul 30, 2006 9:27 am

I didn't mean to come across as hostile about it.... don't get me wrong.

They are my creations after all... I'm one of those people who's never completely comfortable watching other people play with my toys. I have trouble resisting the urge to stick my big fat thumb in the pie. (see the other fanfic/RP threads in the forums for an example or two :P)

Plus, I was getting a bit miffed at how easily they were getting logrolled. Seeing them "dissed and dismissed" is going to be a bit personally emasculating anyway.....but you had them captured without a whimper, incarcerated, stripped them of all their powers, estimated as "primitive," and then put them in a position where even if they had their full powers they still would have been helpless. I was starting to take it just a little personally.

You just gotta be careful when you play with someone else's toys.
"What was that popping noise ?"
"A paradigm shifting without a clutch."
--Dilbert
RHJunior
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1689
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: WV

Postby Anthony Lion on Sun Jul 30, 2006 10:40 am

Exactly HOW different must a universe and its rules be for Lux to change sufficiently to be difficult to use?

What if the difference was just one of 'frequency'?
(Like having a radio locked to a single frequency, which works great as long as you're home, but doesn't work very well somewhere else where the local radio station is transmitting on a different frequency. )
My name is Lion, Anthony Lion.
A fur with a license to purr
User avatar
Anthony Lion
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 298
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2004 2:32 am
Location: Norway

Postby RHJunior on Sun Jul 30, 2006 10:49 am

Considering that lux is essentially bio-energy... the radiant stuff spun off by life itself...

What do you think the effect would be of a universe where lux no longer worked?
"What was that popping noise ?"
"A paradigm shifting without a clutch."
--Dilbert
RHJunior
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1689
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: WV

Postby Anthony Lion on Sun Jul 30, 2006 11:09 am

Yeah...

Except... they're not from that universe...

Oh well... as long as there are no midichlorians...
:-)
My name is Lion, Anthony Lion.
A fur with a license to purr
User avatar
Anthony Lion
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 298
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2004 2:32 am
Location: Norway

Postby Madmoonie on Sun Jul 30, 2006 11:33 am

I dont see it! :cry:
Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?' John 11: 25-26
----
Want a new avatar? Contact me and I can set you up with a new sig pic or avatar, totally FREE!
User avatar
Madmoonie
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 2215
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 5:05 pm
Location: Not a fuzzy clue.... (waves)

Postby Shyal_malkes on Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:21 pm

Rokas,

I never got a chance to see what you wrote. I don't think you should take Ralph's comments as a personal attack.

I have three main points I would like to make.

first is that in my own fanfiction I have made many many changes to how I origionally thought it would be. most have been either due to plot and whimsical scenes I thought up or were a direct result of e-mailing Ralph (and annoying the heck out of him in the process I am sure) with a good deal of questions. so don't take it too hard if Ralph (or anyone for that matter )disagrees with how you're writing.

secondly. I would kill (well maybe not James himself but I could off a few minor characters :D ) just to have Ralph just post the topics my fanfiction links get posted on, let alone actually comment on it. consider yourself lucky to have attracted his attention.

thirdly. I WANTED TO READ THAT. I don't care how much Ralph has a problem with it I wanted to read it. and now I can't even if you blew everybody up it'd still be a story and the way you write still makes it at least worth a look-see. if it's gone fine but please put it back up someday. the worst tragety I find on the internet is projects that get started and then get forgotten and abandoned. "cartoon characters never get old, they just fade away into the reruns" (dog city)

here's hoping that you change your mind and keep writing.
I still say the doctor did it....
User avatar
Shyal_malkes
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1802
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2005 10:12 am

Postby BrockthePaine on Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:41 pm

Gonna go with Shyal, here, Rokas... if you are serious about ending it, then replace the Rac Cona Daimh with... um... anthropomorphic otters (or some other anthy creature you make up), take out all the Rac references, and voila! It's your own scifurtasy story.

Personally, I was enjoying the story because the humans and the Racs WEREN'T fighting. I wanted to see them talk, negotiate, and come to understand each other a whole sight better than before...

*pouts for Rokas to keep writing anyways* :cry:
It does not take a majority to prevail ... but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men. - attributed to Samuel Adams

“To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them.” - Richard Henry Lee
User avatar
BrockthePaine
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1538
Joined: Sun Apr 30, 2006 12:45 pm
Location: Further up and further in!

Postby Dapple on Sun Jul 30, 2006 9:28 pm

U-oh looks like RH scared Rokas off. He has a really good story stile, lots of details, and intrigue.
Trogdor Bruninating the Country side....
http://www.homestarrunner.com/trogday.html

And now for something completely different
http://allyourbase.planettribes.gamespy ... view.shtml
hehe
User avatar
Dapple
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 349
Joined: Sun Feb 13, 2005 7:11 pm
Location: Colorado

Postby AYBABTU on Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:36 am

:o AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
AYBABTU
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 63
Joined: Wed May 17, 2006 12:14 am

Postby Tom Mazanec on Mon Jul 31, 2006 9:12 am

OK, Rokas, look. It is well established that the lux level of Antillia is way above the outside world, so the Racs are gonna be short on power anyway. And you mentioned, IIRC, that they felt some little lux down near the grass, which sounds perfect. I admit the Commander reacted a little harshly...but I don't recall mentioning nukes (unless they were in the third installment WHICH I MISSED) and besides, they show up as a sudden UFO over what seemed to be the equivalent of Oak Ridge or Los Alamos. I take Ralph as playing a "dance of the thousand veils" here with a world that he has already developed in full...and he has only gotten about a hundred of them off so far. If we are going to write fanfiction we will make mistakes and Ralph will have to correct us. He also seemed a little bothered by the aura of the story being about ultratek humans bullying helpless fuzzies. There may have been some of that in the third installment, I don't know. The first two seemed to show a measured military response against something the military knows nothing about except they are a group of aliens who suddenly appear out of nowhere right at the site of a Top Secret military project.. IIRC the Battletech universe is humans only, so if that is what you are using this is literally First Contact for Homo sap. Hey, a Japanese passenger jet once strayed into Soviet airspace and was summarily blown out of the sky, I seem to recall. So just lick your wounds, go over your three installments (especially the third, which seemed to set Ralph off) with his criticisms in mind, edit them and repost what is the most promising TotQ fanfic so far (sorry, the idea of FOUR fans of the comic all falling into the Seven Villages just made my suspension of disbelief go twang, so I did not follow up that one, I lost interest in Mysteries when I realized it was a sequel to Between Worlds and I want to see how that ends first, and BW is traveling faster than a million snails).
Forum Mongoose
User avatar
Tom Mazanec
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 817
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Ohio

Postby Madmoonie on Mon Jul 31, 2006 9:32 am

BrockthePaine wrote:Gonna go with Shyal, here, Rokas... if you are serious about ending it, then replace the Rac Cona Daimh with... um... anthropomorphic otters (or some other anthy creature you make up), take out all the Rac references, and voila! It's your own scifurtasy story.

Personally, I was enjoying the story because the humans and the Racs WEREN'T fighting. I wanted to see them talk, negotiate, and come to understand each other a whole sight better than before...

*pouts for Rokas to keep writing anyways* :cry:


I liked it to. Is there anyway we could read it?
Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?' John 11: 25-26
----
Want a new avatar? Contact me and I can set you up with a new sig pic or avatar, totally FREE!
User avatar
Madmoonie
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 2215
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 5:05 pm
Location: Not a fuzzy clue.... (waves)

Next

 

Return to NPC



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron