Trying to sell art. Need help.

Bluebug · Post by **Bluebug** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 10:23 pm

I'm working on a 20 page comic for an anthology. I want to give it 110% effort since people are paying for it, so I wanted some sincere advice on what needs improvement on this page. This is the first page of the anthology, so I'm hoping any critics will help me avoid common mistakes on the following pages. I'll apologize in advance for the fact that it isn't finished (the background is currently non-existent and the tree is missing some highlights and shadows). However, while I'll probably be doing some touchups on the characters, they are virtually finished.

I'd appreciate it if you could jot down any comments that come to mind, even if it's just a sentence or two - just give me your general impression if that's all the time you have. You can leave the major critiquing to the major critics out there (and I use those terms with endearment

)

One specific comment I'm looking for is:
1) Does the dragon fit with the rest of the page? Is it too simplistic looking? Do the funky effects on the dragon look dumb?
2) It's bee a while since I've worked in black and white tones. Again ... does it work? Or do any of the tones seem jarring?

Here's hoping this thread gets better response than my last ^^;

Thanks in advance,
bluebug

PS. The funny transparent thing is a watermark ... it obviously wouldn't be there in the finished page.

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 6:02 am

Your shading on the squirrel is off. If you're looking for accuracy. Everything else is shaded assuming a brighter light to the right, some light at the top, and fading light to the left. The squirrel is brightest to the left, and it's bright spot is actually tilted away from the dragon.

The top of the elf's head looks odd too - What's the dark splotch? You have it shaded as if it's not a shadow, but part of her head?

Finally, if you want the light beams above the baby to be sort of like a sling around the cradle, some of the beams don't obviously make it to the end of the cradle (in particular, those beams that aught to be closest to us).

For the record though, if you hadn't asked me to look closely for problems, I'd never have noticed them - it's a very cool, well done picture.

Warofwinds · Post by **Warofwinds** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 8:28 am

Firstly: Friggin' awesome.

Secondly: I'd like to see the dragon a little brighter in certain places. Either add brightness to the glowy effect, or change the opacity.

Thirdly: The cradly thingy perspective looks a little off. Kinda like it's not deep enough. Some texture (maybe I giant walnut? I dunno...

) might make it fit in a little more.

Bluebug · Post by **Bluebug** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 12:36 pm

rkolter: Do you mean the huge patch of pure white to the left of the squirrel? That's actually supposed to be white fur ... which I haven't shaded yet. The squirrel is a flying squirrel, with white fur "attaching" his front and back legs. Thanks for pointing out the shadow ... I was a bit inconsistent with the shading. Some of the shading in the pic is "cell" shading and some of it is gradients. I better fix that...

The light beams are supposed to be sort of like a magical scanner of sorts, so it's supposed to be "sweeping" over the baby's body.

warofwinds: Good idea about changing the opacity. When I draw in the background it will be more interesting if some of the background is visible through the dragon. It's only an apparition after all. The cradle is supposed to be a giant eggshell (which ... I guess means it's supposed to be outlandishly thick). So ... I'll work on making it seem thicker and deeper

.

Castle_Builder · Post by **Castle_Builder** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 1:05 pm

Love the dragon thing.

The girls face seems a little distorted like the bottom half of her face/lips are bending too ar to her left.

Also regarding the light that shines from her outstretched hand downwards towards the doll: I guess it's hard to say the way it is, but it doesn't seem to make sense. IF the dragon is infact made of light or energy then I wouls have to ask why below the hand that light/energy seems to change form and become fuzzy whereas the dragon is clearly drawn and specific.

Just some thoughts. Good luck with it and congrats on getting paid work.

Also the composition as a whole is well done. Good placement and eye movement.

CB OUT

CaptainClaude · Post by **CaptainClaude** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 1:09 pm

I would say that the dragon looks far too flat by comparisson to the rest of the picture. where it passes the woman's ear I found difficuty distinguishing whether it was foreground or background.

Bluebug · Post by **Bluebug** » Sat Oct 01, 2005 3:43 pm

Thanks for all the comments. Here's the latest version:

Warofwinds · Post by **Warofwinds** » Sat Oct 01, 2005 3:46 pm

*eyes pop from head* The dragon spirit thingy...there are no words to describe it. Had I money, I would buy this art.

Beyonder_alpha · Post by **Beyonder_alpha** » Sat Oct 01, 2005 7:14 pm

bluebug wrote:Thanks for all the comments. Here's the latest version:

All very nice and in a good mood, but the shadows on the face of the old lady are bugging me a lot.
And the dragon seems to be too much intigrated into the rest of the picture in my opinion. It still needs to be a little flashy no? Perhaps try with even lighter end colors to lightly accentuate the bird's feathers perhaps and leave the beak+ torso like it is now. Especially the tail needs to be lighter to make it slowly build up color.

Bluebug · Post by **Bluebug** » Sat Oct 01, 2005 8:08 pm

Thanks, warofwinds.

Beyonder_alpha : I wanted to make the dragon a little transparent to reaffirm the fact that it's an apparition, so I faded out the white.

Here's what it looks like with the much brighter dragon:

Eunice P · Post by **Eunice P** » Sun Oct 02, 2005 2:34 am

The dragon is absolutely stunning, BB! Totally way cool! 8D

Since the dragon is bright and glowy, I think you might need to shade some brightness on the top part of the lady's hair.

Levi-chan · Post by **Levi-chan** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 5:36 pm

How about making the dragon ominous looking, and stuff? Here's my crappy shot at it - just to illustrate my idea:

(I know - I suck)

Warofwinds · Post by **Warofwinds** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 5:59 pm

You know, fading out the lines like Levi-Chan did really makes it look a lot more like an apparition, even with it being so bright. ...it doesn't look very ominous though

Bluebug · Post by **Bluebug** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 8:26 pm

That's awesome, Levi-chan! I agree, warofwinds, it does make the dragon look more like an apparition. It also makes it a little more ominous looking ... because of the greater degree of black. Though I don't really care whether it looks ominous or not ... that's not really the point.

Looks like I'll have to keep working on the highlights on the old woman's face ^^;

Thanks for all the suggestions everyone!

Kirb · Post by **Kirb** » Wed Oct 12, 2005 3:13 pm

Also keep in mind when shading the old woman's face, about creases and wrinkles.
The current shading makes her face seem smooth.

Awesome pic, though.

Edit: Oh hell. This thread was from a week ago. I need to start reading dates.

Mysteryhunt · Post by **Mysteryhunt** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 10:40 pm

I really like the new version, it pops more to me.

Bluebug · Post by **Bluebug** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 11:52 pm

Kirb: Thanks for the continued comments. I'm one of those periodic forum lurkers, so it's no biggie if I get responses really late

The only reason why I don't want to add more wrinkles to the old lady's face is that I'm going for a partially cartoony look - and I haven't mastered wrinkly cartoony faces yet

MysteryHunt: Yeah, the more I look at it, the more I like Levi-chan's version. Big kudos to Levi-chan.