Critique needed for character design

JohnLynch · Post by **JohnLynch** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 4:03 pm

I've gone through several incarnations of my main character for my new comic, and I think I've improved as much as possible without getting feedback. So I'd love it if I could get some feedback on him. Don't worry, you can be brutally honest

Lou is an Australian photocopy repairman that's suppose to be a bit on the "big boned" side.

Thanks a lot for any feedback.

Prettysenshi · Post by **Prettysenshi** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 4:35 pm

Hmm. Kinda plain. I can't really judge it until I know what kind of comic you're doing. Could you describe what kind of story you're going for? That might help.

Turnsky · Post by **Turnsky** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 4:37 pm

http://www.polykarbon.com

JohnLynch · Post by **JohnLynch** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 4:49 pm

prettysenshi2k6 wrote:I can't really judge it until I know what kind of comic you're doing. Could you describe what kind of story you're going for? That might help.

It's a gag-a-day strip that follows the daily life of Lou in a small town where wacky things happen on a regular basis (for example the first story is Lou taking his pet dingo through Dingo Training School to stop it from eating the neighbour's babies).

Turnsky wrote:http://www.polykarbon.com

Thanks, I've actually used Polykarbon before when I've attempted to do more realistic drawing. This time around though I'm looking for a more cartoony look (like RealLife Comics or Ugly Hill) rather then the realistic/manga look of Polykarbon. Thanks for the suggestion though.

Prettysenshi · Post by **Prettysenshi** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 4:54 pm

JohnLynch wrote:
prettysenshi2k6 wrote:I can't really judge it until I know what kind of comic you're doing. Could you describe what kind of story you're going for? That might help.
It's a gag-a-day strip that follows the daily life of Lou in a small town where wacky things happen on a regular basis (for example the first story is Lou taking his pet dingo through Dingo Training School to stop it from eating the neighbour's babies).

If it's a humor comic, then your character design in my opinion is fine.

Black Sparrow · Post by **Black Sparrow** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 5:05 pm

Stupid question: is that a 5 o'clock shadow or a beard?

If it's a five o'clock shadow, you might need to think about lightening it and making it a little more skin-toned, as it seems to dominate the face. If it's a beard, you might need to define it more. Make it curly or something.

Altf4 · Post by **Altf4** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 5:30 pm

JohnLynch wrote:Don't worry, you can be brutally honest

MMkay, take no offense.

It doesn't look good. To be honest.

Apart from the angle, which is skewed and weird, the actual character lacks... well... it lacks a lot of things.

His arms/hands look really off, head is mis-shapen, ears are too forward, eyes are off to one side and if he were improved, I'd say he would look to much like homer simpson.

Gengar003 · Post by **Gengar003** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 5:37 pm

JohnLynch wrote: (for example the first story is Lou taking his pet dingo through Dingo Training School to stop it from eating the neighbour's babies).

O. M. F. G. I LOVE IT!

In terms of character design... fingers? Maybe just lines on his hand to imply their presence?

And Eyebrows.

Prettysenshi · Post by **Prettysenshi** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 6:16 pm

Gengar003 wrote:
prettysenshi2k6 wrote: (for example the first story is Lou taking his pet dingo through Dingo Training School to stop it from eating the neighbour's babies).
O. M. F. G. I LOVE IT!

In terms of character design... fingers? Maybe just lines on his hand to imply their presence?

And Eyebrows.

I didn't say that.....

Gengar003 · Post by **Gengar003** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 6:57 pm

*fixes*

Sorry, let my quote boxes get away from me there...

The dingo thing... my friends and I recently, somehow, took to saying "Did a dingo eat your babies" in a high-pitched, australian accent to each other, randomly, for laughs... It's just so funny to hear someone say ... weell... mebbe not. Mebbe it's just me... I'll shut up now...

EYEBROWS!

altf4 wrote: It doesn't look good. To be honest.

Apart from the angle, which is skewed and weird, the actual character lacks... well... it lacks a lot of things.

His arms/hands look really off, head is mis-shapen, ears are too forward, eyes are off to one side and if he were improved, I'd say he would look to much like homer simpson.

... Sortelli taught you well, intentionally or not

Altf4 · Post by **Altf4** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 7:12 pm

Gengar003 wrote:
... Sortelli taught you well, intentionally or not

He said its okay to be brutally honest, and I wasn't even being brutal.

Gengar003 · Post by **Gengar003** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 7:18 pm

Which is more or less his (and the others who jumped all over you's) defence

I'm not sayin' don't do the brutal (or otherwise) honesty thing, I'm just sayin you hopped on the bandwagon that ran you over pretty fast (ooh I love analogies

), and I think it quaint.

Also, the guy kinda looks like he's on his toes...

Blackaby · Post by **Blackaby** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 8:58 pm

I love dingos. *joy*

I like the design, I'm just wondering how much pliability he has - like if you drew him doing something, we'd get a better idea of how he works.

This looks like it could be a pretty groooovy comic.

JohnLynch · Post by **JohnLynch** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 10:04 pm

Thanks for the compliments and criticisms

I wasn't expecting quite so many replies to be honest, so it's greatly appreciated. After several hours of work I've got a new and (hopefully) improved Lou. And he's now walking and holding a hammer (to give him some motion).

The things I've tried to address in the above comic are:
* unskew/unweird the angle
* fix the arms
* Make the hands more... well hand shaped

Which isn't too apparent in the above comic (For an attempt at actual fingers see below).
* Moved ears back (and a little up)
* (hopefully) UnHomer-Simpsonified him by removing "beard" and giving him shorts (if he still looks like Homer Simpson, please let me know along with any suggestions on changes to stop him looking like Homer).
* Added eyebrows
* Reshaped head
* Fixed the fact his overweightness wasn't apparent

Click here for some very minor differences, which are:
* Forehead doesn't slope
* Has fingers
* Hair is different
* Eyebrows don't leave his face

Out of those changes which are better? Thes ones in WalkingLou or StandingLou?

Black Sparrow wrote:Stupid question: is that a 5 o'clock shadow or a beard?

If it's a five o'clock shadow, you might need to think about lightening it and making it a little more skin-toned, as it seems to dominate the face. If it's a beard, you might need to define it more. Make it curly or something.

Thanks for the advice. It was a 5 o'clock shadow, but I just got rid of it, as attempting to make it lighter wasn't working (and I wanted to remove any similarity between homer simpson). I couldn't get the shading right in Flash.

And now I think I've earnt myself a break

So any suggestions on areas I can improve Lou in this picture?

Eunice P · Post by **Eunice P** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 3:23 am

Looks better than the first design. But your character's hand still look flat and stubby. Hm... he needs a neck too. Yeah, a neck.

Overall, it's a good improved design. The eyes are looking much livelier than the first design. Great work.

Jackhass · Post by **Jackhass** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 4:58 am

Hmmmm...I didn't think it was possible to simplify Homer Simpson any further.

Blackaby · Post by **Blackaby** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 5:06 am

I definitely prefer the second design and the style you're going for is great... now I want to see a strip!

Gengar003 · Post by **Gengar003** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 5:37 am

Design 2 is the best so far, methinks.

The curly white hair in the 3rd one makes him look muuuuch older than the smooth gray hair in the second.

Warofwinds · Post by **Warofwinds** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:59 am

Adding a wrist would help a lot. The arm doesn't go straight into the hand, especially when holding something. Also extend the lines of the leg a little high so you can see which leg is in front and which is in back.

Jen_Babcock · Post by **Jen_Babcock** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:35 pm

I think you could still stand to make your character a bit more interesting to look at- right now he's almost too simplified. I can't really detect anything of his character from his image. The silhouette of your character is a little dull- I'd try playing with that more. Additionally, I suggest you go out and draw from life- you can get a lot of unique facial features/body types that way.

You do need to fix the mitten-hands too- put some fingers on that guy.

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