My comic could use another critique from the fine posters of the TTT board. I welcome critiques on both the art and the writing.
On the writing front, I'm mostly interested in whether the dialogue works. Is it snappy enough when it needs to be, is it too verbose?
The comic is a rather long affair, so I don't expect anyone to read the whole bit in order to give a critique, but it would be great if you could read the last completed chapter.
The basic setup is this: The main character is a blind elven assassin ... which sounds rather gimicky on paper, but I've been striving to provide a story with more depth and character study. I admit I still feel that I haven't achieved that goal, though I believe I've been getting closer in the last chapter. Thoughts on how to further improve would be greatly appreciated.
Anyhow, that's my comic in a very brief nutshell. Critique away and thanks in advance.
Critique?
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RemusShepherd
- Cartoon Hero
- Posts: 2011
- Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2005 2:23 pm
- Contact:
I haven't gone far back in the archives, just through Ch. 6 and a few glimpses in other chapters. The art in chapter 6 is great, the equal of any webcomic out there. It's a realistic anime style, which I like. I'm not into chibi or toony anime -- some of which I notice you're guilty of in chapters 5 and previous. 
Your backgrounds are great (although I'm a little sick of forests, glimpses at earlier chapters assure me it's not 100% set in the woods.)
I couldn't tell from the art that the main character was blind. That's a minor thing -- a lot of blind people have perfectly normal body language, although I've met some blind people whose body language is eerily inhuman. I like how you use the ears to signify emotion. Some of the poses are a bit odd -- the girl always seems to be grabbing something, but I can't always identify what or what she's doing with it.
I prefer the solid word balloons to the transparent ones. Yes, it's a pity to cover up all that great art, but it really is more readable.
The dialogue seems fine to me, and the characters have distinct speech mannerisms. I'm not qualified to say whether it's too verbose or not (look at my comic if you want capital-V Verbose. )
How often do you update? I can't tell without a calendar. If the new art style isn't slowing you down, then I really don't have much to tell you except, 'Rock On'.
Your backgrounds are great (although I'm a little sick of forests, glimpses at earlier chapters assure me it's not 100% set in the woods.)I couldn't tell from the art that the main character was blind. That's a minor thing -- a lot of blind people have perfectly normal body language, although I've met some blind people whose body language is eerily inhuman. I like how you use the ears to signify emotion. Some of the poses are a bit odd -- the girl always seems to be grabbing something, but I can't always identify what or what she's doing with it.
I prefer the solid word balloons to the transparent ones. Yes, it's a pity to cover up all that great art, but it really is more readable.
The dialogue seems fine to me, and the characters have distinct speech mannerisms. I'm not qualified to say whether it's too verbose or not (look at my comic if you want capital-V Verbose.
)How often do you update? I can't tell without a calendar. If the new art style isn't slowing you down, then I really don't have much to tell you except, 'Rock On'.
I used to update every Monday, but now I'm on a random update schedule. The bane of all comics everywhere, to be sure, but this way I can maintain a comic whose art quality I'm much happier with ... and still stay in school 
.
True, introducing the mannerisms of the blind would go a long way into making this comic more "realistic". I hint at it here and there with hyperacute senses. In the future, I plan to place more emphasis on the techniques the main character uses to defeat his opponents.
Thanks for the note about the poses. I can't seem to escape stiff looking poses
And no ... only about 99.6% of the comic is set in the woods
I'm trying to stay away from the chibis from now on. It makes the comic a little too "slapsticky".
.True, introducing the mannerisms of the blind would go a long way into making this comic more "realistic". I hint at it here and there with hyperacute senses. In the future, I plan to place more emphasis on the techniques the main character uses to defeat his opponents.
Thanks for the note about the poses. I can't seem to escape stiff looking poses
And no ... only about 99.6% of the comic is set in the woods I'm trying to stay away from the chibis from now on. It makes the comic a little too "slapsticky".
