My Comic...its not Clich

Paoken · Post by **Paoken** » Thu May 12, 2005 6:36 pm

The Peace Keepers Force
well i'm here to try and get a few people to come to my comic regualry!! I have two readers...but i know one and the second is random. so here i am.

The comic is about three kids who through a series of accidents and weird coincidences meet a couple of aliens and go off to save the earth...hence the constant 'its not Clich

Bass Master Fei · Post by **Bass Master Fei** » Sun May 15, 2005 8:19 pm

I'm starting to sound like a broken record here, but I'd recommend a beta writer. It would really help the text make easier sense to the sleep-deprived (me). Also, it might help if you stop putting down your own work, as it usually only discourages other people from sitting down and reading it.

That said, your comic makes me rather confused.

Paoken · Post by **Paoken** » Sun May 15, 2005 10:15 pm

dumb question...what the heck is a beta writer...is it a web program thing? or a person who makes my text more legible? is the layout confusing? or the plot? how did i put down my art...i think it looks good!! what are you trying to say?!

...if your confusion comes from the first comic...than thats ok, it really didnt go like that...but the way i had it at first had about twenty spoliers, and i hope that enough people begin to read it so that actualy matters, so i totally boned the **** out of it because i needed at least some explinaton to why the aliens are around...i explain it better coming up very soon...what was confusing?....seriously what the heck is a beta writer..?? the 'it gets alot better in art' refers to the first two or three comics...not the whole thing, i drew those when it was late and i was bored. anymore comments are welcome. and the web page does look like ****....i had to use the premade thing to put any color to it!!
thanks

Ryuko · Post by **Ryuko** » Sun May 15, 2005 10:29 pm

A beta writer is another person who can read your script and tell you whether or not it makes any sense or is legible.

This isn't an insult to you, I haven't read your comic.

KODAMA · Post by **KODAMA** » Mon May 16, 2005 5:27 am

Please use less primary colors... ==;; it's difficult to enjoy your comic when there's bright red next to bright green and bright teal and bright yellow.

KathleenJ · Post by **KathleenJ** » Mon May 16, 2005 8:47 am

I second (third?) the suggestion about having someone else look over your scripts - I looked through your comic and there were quite a few spelling/grammar mistakes. That happens to everyone occasionally, which is why it can be a big help to get an extra pair of eyes to catch things you might have missed. One mistake here or there isn't a huge deal, but too many of them start making reading difficult, and will turn many people right off.

Also, I'm not sure why you're insulting the website design, since you're using one of Ping Teo's premade templates.

Spriteville, USA · Post by **Spriteville, USA** » Mon May 16, 2005 9:07 am

The MSPaint text and speech bubbles are a rather harsh and uncomplimenting contrast to the art. I'd consider practicing your hand writing until it's very very legible and then start drawing your speech bubbles and text into the comic itself. The speech bubble lines are pretty thin which for some reason never looks all that good. In some places the dialogue and the speech take up over half the strip, and on top of that when you have a lot of bubbles condenced it looks poor. You should space it out a bit.

You put comments into the bottom of your comics, they seem to be comic titles sometimes. Knock that off, it 99.9% of cases, making comments about ones own comic, within the comic is lame and bothersome. I really don't like them. Some people pull it off, but here it really adds nothing to the comic, just more jumble in the mess of stuff happening on your comics.

Also the plot confuses me, at present I think they are in a flashback, maybe. I dunno.

Subhuman · Post by **Subhuman** » Mon May 16, 2005 9:15 am

Yeah, "MS Paint chic" is so '95. Use less primary colors, do your speech bubbles by hand or use the drawing tools in Illustrator or something. And if you don't want a beta writer (never heard that term before), just use a spell checker.

Spriteville wrote:Knock that off, in 99.9% of cases, making comments about ones own comic, within the comic is lame and bothersome. I really don't like them.

Hell, I don't like comments, period. Unless you have thousands of readers who worship you and hang on your every word, leave the comments out. Nobody really cares.

Paoken · Post by **Paoken** » Mon May 16, 2005 10:22 am

wow..uhh thanks guys...it was like four days till somebody posted...than it all pops up!! to Spriteville who said it was a flash back....your very right, but it doesn

The Neko · Post by **The Neko** » Mon May 16, 2005 10:37 am

Capitalize. "Yeah" is NOT spelled "yhea". Learn the difference between "your" and "you're". Punctuation is not the devil, use it. Stay away from the neon colors, they burn. When you're doing poorly, at least try not to tell your audience that you are, they might think it's intentional if you don't let them know it's wrong. Word balloons are supposed to contain text, if they can't, they're not doing their jobs. I also don't suggest expositing the plot and all the secrets of the universe in the first page. It makes the revelations less interesting when they happen, because the audience thinks "well DUH". It also makes the set-up towards their discovery moot because the audience already knows what's going to happen to the characters. We ALL know they're going to get the gems. Also, learn to draw the human figure, THEN work on stylization, it really helps. Try some digital cleanup, it looks lazy otherwise. Try an anti-aliased text. Is this done in MS Paint?

Spriteville, USA · Post by **Spriteville, USA** » Mon May 16, 2005 10:48 am

Hey! He insulted sprite comics and implied they don't take effort!

*Goes on all fours, pricks up hair, and growls*

Grrr.... grrr....

Post by **Mercury Hat** » Mon May 16, 2005 10:53 am

Aww-haw, you're adorable when you're so defensive, Spritey

.

Spriteville, USA · Post by **Spriteville, USA** » Mon May 16, 2005 11:05 am

[quote="Paoken"]to Spriteville who said it was a flash back....your very right, but it doesn

Rianeva · Post by **Rianeva** » Mon May 16, 2005 11:06 am

The plot of this reads like a video game. Meaning, we all know how it's going to end, so why bother reading? At least with video games you're not just playing for the plot.

You have a lot of textual problems, which have been explained before. I'd just like to add that the text for speeches should be inside the speech bubbles at all times. The more "dramatic" lines in your comic suffer from this. They're hard to read.

And don't go, "Oh, the first few suck but they'll get better, I promise!" I don't know about most people, but I decide whether I'm going to read a comic or not by the first few strips. If they suck, I'm not coming back. And if you say they suck, chances are your readers are going to agree with you and never come back.

I'd also suggest trying to vary point of view, zoom, viewing angle, stuff like that. The comic right now looks kind of copy/pasted at first glance (even though it isn't) because of the lack of variety there. Though I'm not one to criticize. =p

Paoken · Post by **Paoken** » Mon May 16, 2005 12:19 pm

hehheh, that kind of talk makes me fuzzy inside

sorry, but i have enough twists and turns already shapeing and trust me...the gems are the LEAST of the story plots

, but thanks for the tip, the only reason i gave ANY inkling of the plot is to save time!! Spriteville, sorry about the sprite crack, yours is really good, but you have to admit most are just junk...and if i made a sprite it would be crap..i tried. I'll try to mess with the color and word bubbles when i get home, i'm at school so i have to run.
thanks

Bass Master Fei · Post by **Bass Master Fei** » Mon May 16, 2005 1:59 pm

Wow. This thread exploded.

Paoken wrote:dumb question...what the heck is a beta writer...is it a web program thing? or a person who makes my text more legible? is the layout confusing? or the plot? how did i put down my art...i think it looks good!! what are you trying to say?!

I think someone's already answered your question. I'd say the text and text placement are the most confusing things about your comic, as a) the language mechanics errors make my brain throb and b) the pages can be busy enough that it can be hard to tell what is happening/who is saying what.

...if your confusion comes from the first comic...than thats ok, it really didnt go like that...but the way i had it at first had about twenty spoliers, and i hope that enough people begin to read it so that actualy matters, so i totally boned the **** out of it because i needed at least some explinaton to why the aliens are around...i explain it better coming up very soon...

What didn't go like what now? The first comic had plot inaccuracies?

what was confusing?....seriously what the heck is a beta writer..??

I believe I've already answered this, but just in general, Google is your friend. It tells you all about what beta writers are, and most any term you run across that you don't know.

Paoken · Post by **Paoken** » Mon May 16, 2005 2:35 pm

yeah,(need to start good habits

) i ran Beta writer through google, and i gave me programs called writer in the beta stages of development...and yes google is a very dear friend

no, no plot inaccuracies the first comic is a dumbed down version of how it went originally ...at first i had about twenty things that i knew were going to happen, but wouldnt happen for a long time, so i changed it...i dont mind how it came out, but my first way was better, but i figured that i should keep spoliers to a bare minimum. Spriteville, i use paint shop pro, and thats all i have any real experience with, so i use it for everything! also have you seen any of the last few comics? i like to think that the character positions have become more varried, and the next comic has a lot of realy varied shots... all i really have to do is make my grammer more legible, and the bubbles better looking and it should look better than it does now. right? anyother suggestions before i start computer work for the next one?

Paoken · Post by **Paoken** » Mon May 16, 2005 8:20 pm

**happy shuffle** I finished the next comic and I must say it looks great...I had to redo it once, because it looked so very weird but now it looks really good!! It will be posted on my site Wendsday, and I hope some of you will visit to atleast see what it looks like, I dont think that I'll go back and redo all the comics...but I will go back and spell check alot of the stuff that I should have done in the first place!! and maybe make it a bit more clear as to what is going on...but other than that the first bunch of comics will remain as is...thanks for the help everybody and I look forward to hearing what you think when it is posted.

Stolle · Post by **Stolle** » Tue May 17, 2005 12:28 am

She got a bird glued to her chest?

Paoken · Post by **Paoken** » Tue May 17, 2005 5:53 am

You mean in the title page? Actualy its a raised chest protector...but, uh, yhea its a dove...thats her title 'Dove'

Comic Genesis Forums

My Comic...its not Clich

My Comic...its not Clich

...beta...writer?

..and the topic explodes!!!

Re: ..and the topic explodes!!!

...you know how it ends, eh?

Re: ...beta...writer?

hey...welcome back

....need stimulation....so bad

eh?