Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Scene.

[Allan_ecker]

So, that's it for Unit Zero's trial-run first chapter. I'm going to shelf it for a while and later decide what to do with/to it. Right now I'm thinking I'll probably just come back and add another chapter later rather than redoing chapter one, but there are some definite merits to adding a few more pages to tell the story more clearly.

Over the next, uh... year or so, I'm planning on segregating my comics into two varieties: ones which "work" in a day-to-day strip-type format, and ones which, ah, don't. The day-to-days will make up the weekly updtates, and there'll be occasional "comic dumps" where a whole comic book worth of effort suddenly appears. So, one might imagine a comic similar in format to, say, Dilbert going for about three months, and then one week the update is ten color pages.

[The_Fox]

Unit Zero needs some polish, but I still love the overall effect of the comic. I've battered your poor ego elsewhere, so you know what I think the low points are. *grins* But I DO like the idea, and most of the execution.

- Jarylan "Where do I sign up for cool space age weapons?" Blackwell

[Allan_ecker]

Trust me, folks, my ego is far more tightly tied at the moment to my impending Thesis Defense. Hammer away As Thou Mightst.

[Randyg]

I'm not going to vote, since I have so little clue what is happening or who it's happening to, I can't much say if I like it or not...

--Randy

[Allan_ecker]

I'd say its safe to say you didn't enjoy it, then. Bear in mind, total incomprehensibility is a valid complaint.

[Alfador]

I will say that Umlaut House was better than the first chapter of Unit Zero.

I will NOT say that Umlaut House is better than Unit Zero...for the simple reason that we haven't seen all of Unit Zero yet.

I like it. A lot. So far.

[UncleMonty]

I can't honestly vote yet, because so far Unit Zero has only provided an opening scene. It would be like grading a movie on its first ten minutes of play.
Still, it shows promise. "Mentally ill people taking on overpowering odds" is always a good twist, especially if you throw in some larceny. The WWII flick "Kelly's Heroes" comes to mind.

The most interesting part so far is that the autistic rabbit is the only one who knows the plan. Should they be captured, if he hasn't had his medication recently... I can imagine few things more frustrating than interrogating an autistic person.

Like I said - it shows promise.

[Maximuscoolman]

I gave it a 3, but I'd give it a 4 for potential. Not much really happened but now all the characters and history is there, a lot more can happen and I expect to be more impressed with fture chapters.

[Hat-Kun]

*Raises hand*

That was me with the 1. ^,^;

[Allan_ecker]

For what it's worth, I think you'll like the next comic.

Unit Zero was an experiment, and the feedback I got has been really, REALLY useful. The purpose of this quiz is to get some (very) rough estimate of how many I reached and how many I missed, not to stroke my ego. I plan on asking this reguarding all my experiments, so the more data points the better. So I repeat: please vote, even if you put in a zero. No matter what the reason, if you looked at it, and didn't enjoy it, I want it reccorded, exactly as much as I want it reccorded if you loved it.

[KarlBob]

I particularly like Griffin. She has a lot of storytelling potential.

Kelly's Heroes was indeed a very fine flick.

[Candide]

Unit Zero was an experiment, and the feedback I got has been really, REALLY useful. The purpose of this quiz is to get some (very) rough estimate of how many I reached and how many I missed, not to stroke my ego.

One thing I wanted to mention: I think U0 could've benefitted from page footnotes, a la PDH. I think that would've handled the missing backstory that just didn't fit in visually, and generally woud've helped with some of the confusion with the plot.

[Maximuscoolman]

Yeah I was thinking that the stips could use captions or maybe some naration, I think it would be better than adding more strips just to explain things because thenw'd get to the action sooner. But maybe that's just me being impatient.

Also I wanted to point out that Candide's rank is "Hawt!" no he's on 69 posts.

[Andrick]

It's a good thing you've got your ego-armor on, Allan. Though some things could be hashed out of the comic and a few characters/scenes did arouse some intrigue, the overall comic was a failure. Essential things were either poorly conveyed or not at all decipherable to me as a reader. Too often I had to consult the forum or ask the author a direct question to figure out what was going on in the story. If the forum did not exist and I had no interaction with the U0 creator then I'd be wondering why I'm wasting my time by checking for comic updates. This is the ultimate reason for my grade of "0" out of 5.

[Allan_ecker]

And if I'm counting correctly, I still have one vote on the low side of the scale missing due to a voter abstaining.

I figure the first section needs to be about twice as long to get all the information across. Some people were able to manage the trapeise act of following this monstrosity, but that was probably only because they were reading the forums and captions from the VCL.

On captions:

Yes, a good dose of captions would have made it possible to read this thing and get everything. However, Unit Zero as a project has certain rules, among them being that the image files could, all by themselves, be the deliverables of the comic. The reason for this stipulation is that this is actually an attempt at world building. And to me, world building means don't tell, SHOW. I tried to use the backdrops to portray the world, and show what things were like without ever mentioning them. We're supposed to see the Confederation ships and their curvey lines, then contrast them against the harsh edges of the Nation fleet and see that the Confederation is a plump and drowsy empire, while the nation is a lean, hungry expansionist state. The rocket trip from surface to the outpost station is supposed to teach us about surface/aerospace vehichles. But there were too many holes in the main thrust, and the tapestry didn't hold.

The next comic project of this type will pay close attention to the "core" story as well as the window dressings, and hopefully the next time even the detractors will say "well, I understood it, but it just isn't me" rather than wondering what in the world it is they're reading.

Also, in recognition of the fact that these "graphic novel" format comics do not lend themselves well to a weekly update schedule, from here on out, the main comic section will be for comics that have a concise day-to-day flow to them; every tuesday, an update that makes sense by itself and as one work will show, and every once and a while, a whole batch of graphic-novel-format stuff will show up via a link to my VCL account. I think this is going to be the best possible mix for the time being, but we'll really have to see what kind of time committment I can put forward once I'm working in industry rather than here in academia.

Speaking of which, I have about fifteen pages of thesis to do today.

(Scurries off.)

[Fallwind]

i think what hurt the comprehension levels the most for me was the once a week schedule, i almost always had to go back a strip to figgure out what just happened.

if it was thrice weekly that wouldnt be an issue, of course then your hand would fall off.


I generally agree with the other posters that say that more backstory would be nice, but i dont think its required. If you look at some of the greatest classics in sci-fi (Dune, Foundation etc....) have extencive backstory that is only lightly touched on in the first book of the series. Knowing that its there and will be fully explained eventually can get the readers to suspend disbelief for a while. Dune did it best by having a quote from a historical book that would be written after what was currently happening in that chapter at the start of each chapter (i cant explain it well.... just go pick up the book, its a keeper). If you did a similar thing in U0 in your major scene changes it would add alot of understanding to the strip.

[Allan_ecker]

If only you knew how prophetic that paragraph is going to end up sounding in a few years...

Yeah, I -adore- the oldschool sci-fi technique of tossing in historical references.

There were a lot of places where perspective could have been added or things could have been elucidated. It is for this reason that I may release a re-tooled version of this first chapter of Unit Zero before continuing the saga.

Actually, doing it all in one go with better art, sharper panel borders, and more panels between scene transitions is starting to appeal...

[Hat-Kun]

That's one of the things I like about Andromeda and the Resident Evil books. Each episode and novel begins with a relevant quote. What jumps to mind is the fourth book, Underworld, which states "There are a thousand people hacking at the branches of evil to one striking the root."

[Nyamaza]

I love that about the Foundation books and stories myself. All hail Asimov

[DetailBear]

I was a 3. I found I could follow it a lot better when I read it all at once. I still need to sit down and follow the meaning of the colour changes.

David Eddings, author of the Belgariad, Malloreon, Ruby Throne series (and a few more) talks about world building in the intro to one of his later books (looking for the title). While the series and the characters end up being recombinations of the same elements, his planning process is great for a detail-oriented story-teller. Not sure if it would be helpful for you, Allan.