bluebug's art thread (new critiques needed)

Bluebug · Post by **Bluebug** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 3:17 pm

Finally got this done.

Faub · Post by **Faub** » Sat Mar 26, 2005 2:42 am

Wow. That turned out great!

Sput · Post by **Sput** » Sat Mar 26, 2005 9:43 pm

Hoooleeeee crap, that's awesome. I'm going to read your comic -right now- because of that cover.

My only crit at this stage, as just sort of an after note, I don't think that the ivy(maybe?) would creep as it does on the left arm and wing like you show it. I think it'd follow more of the arm and not just grow willy nilly, but it can be fixed by just a bit of darkening where the arm and wing meet, I think.

Anyway, totally awesome results, awesomeawesomeAWESOME painting skills you've got there

Bluebug · Post by **Bluebug** » Sun Mar 27, 2005 12:19 am

Thanks, RA!

*cough* Too bad my comic looks nothing like the cover ^^;; Sorry to disappoint. Not only have I improved a lot since starting the comic, I've spent a lot of time on this cover. I started working on it on March 11th, so I've had time to work on it slowly enough to avoid burn out. If I spent this much time on the comic it would update once in a blue moon.

That said, I'm thinking of reverting to random updates so I can increase the quality of the story and art of my comic. I'm not at all happy with how my comic is currently. I'm hoping eventually that nearly every page from now on will look as good as this cover.

Bluebug · Post by **Bluebug** » Sun Mar 27, 2005 12:58 am

New pic! This is going to be a full page spread in my comic.

Here's what I've got so far.

The stuff I need help on:
1. The guy's hand. It doesn't look weighty enough to be holding her up. I want it to look as if the pressure of his palm is pressing her to his knee, and thus holding up her body.

2. The girl's breasts. They seem too small to me, and the leftmost one in the picture doesn't seem positioned right.

3. I've tried my best to image the shading and highlights. Does anyone see anything amiss?

4. And of course, if there's anything that seems glaringly wrong, let me know.

Guenhwyvar · Post by **Guenhwyvar** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 7:31 am

bluebug wrote: Hi I'm new here but I've followed you comic for some time now =)

The stuff I need help on:
1. The guy's hand. It doesn't look weighty enough to be holding her up. I want it to look as if the pressure of his palm is pressing her to his knee, and thus holding up her body.

His hand doesn't suport her weigh as it should do, I think you need to lower his hand to her chest for the right look.

2. The girl's breasts. They seem too small to me, and the leftmost one in the picture doesn't seem positioned right.

According to how she's laying the uper breast need to be a little bigger, if you do that her breast will line up right.

3. I've tried my best to image the shading and highlights. Does anyone see anything amiss?

I suck at highlights so I'll be quiet here =)

4. And of course, if there's anything that seems glaringly wrong, let me know.

The girls head is positioned wrong. I don't know if you're trying to make it look as he's supporting it with his hands or if you try to make it look like her head is resting on his knee.
It you're trying to make it look like his supporting the head with his hand then you need to tilt her head a little to the left and if you're trying to make it look like her head is resting on his knee you need to tilt her head a little to the right.

That's all I can see right now, hope I was helpfull =) Take care

Kris X · Post by **Kris X** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 7:56 am

I have so little to say, except that the positioning of your characters seems very awkward, especially the one laying down.

[AlmightyPyro] · Post by **[AlmightyPyro]** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 10:57 pm

I would just like you and faub to know that I hate you dearly because of ya'lls amazing ability to color and draw like that!

Bluebug · Post by **Bluebug** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 9:45 pm

Thanks for the replies, guys.

I was kinda going for the awkward, but not stiff-looking, pose for the girl, since she's dying -- I didn't want her to look too relaxed ^^;

Guenhwyvar : I'm hoping if I just move the guy's arm more forward, it'll look like he's supporting her head. Cuz messing with her head would be a pain.

Warofwinds · Post by **Warofwinds** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 3:57 pm

I would like to see a little shadow on the ground to make them look as though they are not floating. To make it look as though the guy is holding her up with his hand, the fingers need to spread a little apart and then bent a little more at the middle joint. If you grab your arm with your other hand, you can see that the pointer finger kind of goes off on its own and the other three fingers bend more together... if that made any sense.
As for her breasts, I believe your center-line is off by just the teeniest bit. Moving that a little to the right will fix that perspective, unless you purposefully have her torso bent as it is, which case the highlights on her right breast are what's making them seem more uneven than they really arm. I think the highlight needs to be smaller, and moved slightly down and right (to make it look less flat. If you show that its curved, we know there is more volume we're just not seeing).

Other than that, could you please just draw the guy's fingers around her neck? We all look at this magnificent piece and wonder where his arm ends! This would also clarify whether her head is resting on his knee or not.

As a side note, I love how you did his hair. Beautiful. *takes notes*