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Struck3xbylightning · Thu Nov 18, 2004 12:42 pm

*cuddles up with lewwy-sama and cries on his shoulder* But it hurts when you don't pretend...and it hurts even worse when you're yourself...Telling yourself a lie to make you feel better might seem shallow...but I keeps me going...Pills don't work, psychiatrists don't help, and talking will just get me into trouble...Sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it...*stops crying and lays still in lewwy-sama's arms*[/quote]

talking about it with us wont get you in trouble. you will not be judged nor prescribe you anything. just hear to listen.

Akari_usagi · Post by **Akari_usagi** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 12:45 pm

talking hurts. That's why I'm only happy when I'm on here! If I'm not happy all the time then someone will be sad and I won't be able to comfort them. But it was lewwy-sama who was sad...*cuddles* This unworthy one hopes lewwy-sama feels better...

Lewellynthedolphin · Post by **Lewellynthedolphin** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 12:48 pm

never be afraid to make friends. Lots of people are adopted. It doesnt matter to anyone, except people who are really bad snobs. and there arent many of them out there. *nuzzles akari* I dont know the answers, but I do know I'm here if you want to talk. *snuggle*

Akari_usagi · Post by **Akari_usagi** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 12:53 pm

*th*sighs and snuggles* Can....Can I just stay here for a while?? I have to go in 30 min...but I just wanna stay here...

Lewellynthedolphin · Post by **Lewellynthedolphin** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:03 pm

*cuddle* We're here to talk to if you need. *gives akari a kiss on the cheek* And struck was right earlier. We wont prescribe anything. and a lesson i've learnt. if it hurts to talk, it's a good thing. because it gets the pain off your chest, and then you feel better. ^_^

~lewwy

Akari_usagi · Post by **Akari_usagi** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:04 pm

*nods and sighs* I hope so....I really do...but at least I'm not alone right? I have you and sissy and for whatever it's worth...new parents soon. It'll work out...I know it will

Lewellynthedolphin · Post by **Lewellynthedolphin** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:10 pm

things always do, in the end. ^_^ and of course you have me. *snuggle*

~lewwy

Struck3xbylightning · Post by **Struck3xbylightning** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:15 pm

you have all of us here at the forum. emotional pain is with us in everything we do. but so is joy and laughter and sorrow and love and hate and jealousy and commitment and friendship, desire and family and honesty, truth and betrayal. its a rollercoaster ride, but i wouldnt miss it for anything.

Akari_usagi · Post by **Akari_usagi** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:17 pm

yea...but sometimes it just gets stuck for mantanence at the wrong loop...

Lewellynthedolphin · Post by **Lewellynthedolphin** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:21 pm

mantinence only lasts so long though. you cant keep a ride closed for too long. ^_^

~lewwy

Struck3xbylightning · Post by **Struck3xbylightning** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:43 pm

i think you're missing my point. how do you know you are at the top if the ride is level? our lows in life only make our highs better. once you get to the bottom, you can only go up. personally ive had so many knock downs...so many bad things happen...ive decided that no matter how hard things get, i WILL fight back and rise up again and again, until it kills me. because if life is not worth living, then why am i here?

for all the setbacks and hardship i have had in my life, i would never give up a single happy memory i have, for all of the bad memories to be gone. knowing these bad things has made all the good things in my life great.

Lewellynthedolphin · Post by **Lewellynthedolphin** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:52 pm

Theres only 2 memories in my entire life i'd willingly forget happened. while one of them is responsible for my being in my current relationship, the otehr i just wish i couldnt remember at all. i remember walking in my front door, going to my room, and having my mother walk in and tell me my great grandmother had died 2 days earlier. and she'd known all day, but wanted me to go to school before she told me. i sat there on my bed and just cried. *murmur* one of those stupid memories which i would like to forget. the other i wont talk about. *mutter* but i've fought back from everything so far. and while sometimes i'm tired of fighting, i just keep on going. it's like running. you can see the finish line ahead, but your already drained. you just gotta look at our goal and push that little bit harder and get ahead. ^_^

~lewwy

Moo Cow · Post by **Moo Cow** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 3:23 pm

Lewwy, that situation really stinks. I understand that it's not easy. *hugs*

Akari, it might make you feel better, but it's not good for you to not deal with your problems. Of course you don't need to be medicated or in therapy to do that. But i don't think it's healthy to hide from yourself.

~Sara

Akari_usagi · Post by **Akari_usagi** » Fri Nov 19, 2004 12:55 am

i know how you feel lewwy-sama...hurts don't it? Especially when your mom won't hold you or comfort you...but hopefully you got over it good right?

Lewellynthedolphin · Post by **Lewellynthedolphin** » Fri Nov 19, 2004 3:37 am

Meh. I got a hug from my mother. thats pretty much the last time i got a hug from her. I generally refuse to now. *sucks on a lollipop and waits for his stupeyhead best friend to message him* i glomped my dad when he met me at the airport in south korea.

Incidentally, i hadnt seen him in 5 years. It gives me every right to. *giggle* and yeah, i know how that is. my mother doesnt see me cry often. my room is offlimits to everyone. the only person i let come in is brendon. He's kinda my step-brother, and one of 2 friends i have up here. so i just cry in my room. that way no one hears me, no one sees me and i get to curl up in a pile of plushies and die there.... I mean that figuratively! i'm not a zombie! i swear it!

~lewwy

Struck3xbylightning · Post by **Struck3xbylightning** » Fri Nov 19, 2004 8:23 am

ive been alive for 24 years and only ever been hugged once by my dad

Lewellynthedolphin · Post by **Lewellynthedolphin** » Fri Nov 19, 2004 8:51 am

I dunno how many times i've been hugged by my dad. a few, i think. and i absolutely despise australia post. may they die horribly. *scowl* from now on, i use private courier. atleast that way things i send will actually be delivered on time. *feels really crappy today* my stupid friend bailed on me as usual, the parcel i sent my girlfriend didnt arrive.... i dont pay stupid amounts of money to overnight things for them not to arrive. *scowls* *goes about being rather angry* *murmur*

~lewwy

Akari_usagi · Post by **Akari_usagi** » Fri Nov 19, 2004 12:55 pm

*glomps lewwy-sama and snuggles* feel better...?

Lewellynthedolphin · Post by **Lewellynthedolphin** » Fri Nov 19, 2004 12:59 pm

somewhat. *snuggles lots of lollipops and music* nothing cheers me up like sugar, coffee and good music! ^__^

~lewwy

Akari_usagi · Post by **Akari_usagi** » Fri Nov 19, 2004 1:01 pm

kyaa~! Nothing better~!...scept maybe anime bishies comming to life and asking for yuor hand in marrage!!! O_o....orrrr maybe that's just me...*glomps Michael Shanks* I luvvvv you~!

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