OMG Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Moo Cow · Post by **Moo Cow** » Sun Dec 05, 2004 5:06 pm

Sure! But look, there's a whole platter here! Here, I'll make one just for you... *bakes and gives to Troy* But everyone can take from that platter in the middle of the room *points* Theyre all special.

~Sara

Lewellynthedolphin · Post by **Lewellynthedolphin** » Sun Dec 05, 2004 6:32 pm

Hehe. i'll be fine. seems that i wont be getting my net connection anytime soon. *sighs softly* *eats the cookie* yummy. *goes and gets a lollipop* being offline all the time is not good. I'm gonna go try to organise moving out..... -_- *sigh*

~lewwy

Master killer · Post by **Master killer** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 3:46 am

tell you aleays cheers me up
knowing that i could just be another in the clockwork of cogs
someone who 'goes with the trend' just cus everyone else does
grrr it sickens me

DodgetheLightning · Post by **DodgetheLightning** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 6:56 am

Moo Cow wrote:Sure! But look, there's a whole platter here! Here, I'll make one just for you... *bakes and gives to Troy* But everyone can take from that platter in the middle of the room *points* Theyre all special.

~Sara

mm cookies.....Moo its just not the same. everything tastes bland, nothing is exciting at the moment, i cant sleep or concentrate at work. i cut myself pretty bad today, and i was only cutting an orange.

not being able to talk to him makes it so hard! if he was awake when i went in, im sure he would have made them let me through. tuesdays so far away

i dont know what to do

Moo Cow · Post by **Moo Cow** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 7:08 am

I'm sorry... you're such a good friend to him, and it hurts you to see him in pain...

~Sara

Lewellynthedolphin · Post by **Lewellynthedolphin** » Sun Dec 19, 2004 7:12 pm

well, here i am, sitting in a net cafe, on the verge of tears. It seems everything in my life is going wrong. atleast i have my friends. My relationship is dead. I think louise and i just broke up. I'm going to send her christmas present within an hour.... i hope.... she should get it tomorrow..... I do indeed love her, but this is just wrong. its causing me too much pain. everythings been wrong for months now. I've clung to all of you, needing your friendship, and you've all given it without hesitation and i love you all for it. especially Akari and struck. you've been there everytime i've needed you. All this shit with my family, and my lover. *sighs softly* I'm fighting with everything i am not to burst into tears. I cant show that amount of pain, not here in public. especially when a friend of mine is only metres away. I may not be around for a few days.... well, it's official now... Louise and i just broke up. i can barely see through the tears that cloud my eyes... i cant do this any longer.... I'll write a bit more later. I just wanted to thank you all for being such a good friend to me lately.

~lewwy

Damned · Post by **Damned** » Sun Dec 19, 2004 8:21 pm

*hugs Lewwy and wont let go* I'm sorry, I'm no good with consoling people, so I'll just give you the biggest hug I can muster *hugs again* It hurts me to see you guys in pain and it scares me when I think i might lose any one of you.

Struck3xbylightning · Post by **Struck3xbylightning** » Sun Dec 19, 2004 9:59 pm

you are never alone Lew! Always here for you. Always!

Master killer · Post by **Master killer** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 3:17 am

Fate brings alot of pain some times to bring happieness
we will always be here if not on the forom in your heart memories and mind and iv probely said this to you before but i dont know many people who could walk in your shoes. Learn learn the mistakes you've made and turn them into your advanges when your older.and tell your kids.they will be grateful for it. Tears will turn into rivers of joy and i know, in a way how you feel

Moo Cow · Post by **Moo Cow** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 5:10 am

*hugs* I'm so sorry... I know everything's a mess for you right now, but remember, we're here for you... and things will start looking up again before you know it.

~Sara

Slytha_wyrda · Post by **Slytha_wyrda** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 8:58 am

just remember that we all love you. i hope life brings you happiness so wash away the pain. if i lost you i'd probably go insane (not that i am sane right now) so you had better gat better *makes a sad attempt at a threat*i'd miss you if you left *glomps and never lets go*

Kamikaze Kira · Post by **Kamikaze Kira** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 12:18 pm

Lew.. I'm so sorry.. I said that everything would be all right, but it's not..

Lewellynthedolphin · Post by **Lewellynthedolphin** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 2:06 pm

Thank you all. reading that brings tears to my eyes. I sent louise her present about an hour after i broke up with her.... it's pretty much gonna be the last bit of communication between us for a while.... *sighs softly* if i was hurt when i wrote that, my heart was broken a few minutes afterwards... what kind of person goes happily off playing a game minutes after someone they supposedly love breaks up with them? *sighs softly* I'll be alright though. I'm happy to see your back struck. *hugs* and master, thank you. I lament only what i've lost. after that, theres nothing more to cry over.

~lewwy

Struck3xbylightning · Post by **Struck3xbylightning** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 5:14 am

lewellynthedolphin wrote:Thank you all. reading that brings tears to my eyes. I sent louise her present about an hour after i broke up with her.... it's pretty much gonna be the last bit of communication between us for a while.... *sighs softly* if i was hurt when i wrote that, my heart was broken a few minutes afterwards... what kind of person goes happily off playing a game minutes after someone they supposedly love breaks up with them? *sighs softly* I'll be alright though. I'm happy to see your back struck. *hugs* and master, thank you. I lament only what i've lost. after that, theres nothing more to cry over.

~lewwy

Lewwy, you have lost a girlfriend, but gained an opportunity to for some happiness. Happiness.... will come to you. When you feel lonely or upset, we are always here for you, and you know my mobile number. Sometimes it is a little hard to catch me, but hey, it wont be long and you can see me in person.

Even though we break up with people, does not mean we cannot still be friends. If neither of you are happy together, then maybe its for the best. My ex was at the welcome back party last night. It was so good to see her again, and to know that she cared enough to visit.

Even though we are no longer together, does not mean we dont care about each other, even still love each other.

It could be the same with you and Louise. It hurts so much when you part, cos even if you are arguing, not getting along, not having enough time with each other, or too much time together, its still hurts to not be around them. What am i getting at?....well, even though you are no longer lovers, does not mean you can no longer be friends.

As for going off and playing games....it is good to see that you have not dropped your own life because of it. Life continues no matter what happens, so should we. Grieve yes, be upset yes, but not let pain and sufferindg dominate our lives. We owe too much to ourselves to let a part of our lives be lost.

Lewellynthedolphin · Post by **Lewellynthedolphin** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 3:54 pm

*smiles and hugs struck* I think I said my final goodbye to louise last night... I dont know how well our friendship would be now. I woke up at 2 am and curled up sobbing. I was just feeling so hurt and abused. I felt like everything had gone wrong. I guess in a way it has. I hate being here at "home" atleast my mothers aknowledged it's her home, not mine... I cant stay here. I dont think I'll even stay the 2 weeks i said i would.... I'll stay long enough to talk to my little sister, but other than that, i dont think i can. this place is already getting to me. But as i was saying.... when i woke up i needed someone to talk to and there was no one.... if i could have gotten online, i didnt have a phone cord and i hadnt gotten the connection details, i would have. *murmurs softly* It just hurt to be so alone. the darkness, which i used to love so very very much, made me realise how terribly alone i was at the time. I dont know.... but i know in the end i'll be alright... thank you all for being so kind. *snuggles everyone, especially struck and kira*

~lewwy

Struck3xbylightning · Post by **Struck3xbylightning** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 7:17 pm

lewellynthedolphin wrote:*smiles and hugs struck* I think I said my final goodbye to louise last night... I dont know how well our friendship would be now. I woke up at 2 am and curled up sobbing. I was just feeling so hurt and abused. I felt like everything had gone wrong. I guess in a way it has. I hate being here at "home" atleast my mothers aknowledged it's her home, not mine... I cant stay here. I dont think I'll even stay the 2 weeks i said i would.... I'll stay long enough to talk to my little sister, but other than that, i dont think i can. this place is already getting to me. But as i was saying.... when i woke up i needed someone to talk to and there was no one.... if i could have gotten online, i didnt have a phone cord and i hadnt gotten the connection details, i would have. *murmurs softly* It just hurt to be so alone. the darkness, which i used to love so very very much, made me realise how terribly alone i was at the time. I dont know.... but i know in the end i'll be alright... thank you all for being so kind. *snuggles everyone, especially struck and kira*

~lewwy

i love the darkness. the simplicity of silence and being so totally alone in the dark is the best time to reflect and organise your life. the dark places of our lives make us desire the light more. dont dwell in darkness, but if you have to be there, then turn on a light.

DodgetheLightning · Post by **DodgetheLightning** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 7:19 pm

i love the darkness. the simplicity of silence and being so totally alone in the dark is the best time to reflect and organise your life. the dark places of our lives make us desire the light more. dont dwell in darkness, but if you have to be there, then turn on a light

what the hell do you mean by that? if you have to be there then turn on a light?

Kamikaze Kira · Post by **Kamikaze Kira** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 7:25 pm

I don't like the dark that much.. it's like the unknown.. scary.

Struck3xbylightning · Post by **Struck3xbylightning** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 7:26 pm

i meant that if you are depressed, sad or lonely and feel alone, then think back on your happy memories - bring some light to your darkness.

I dont encourage anyone to bottle up hurt feelings, it is best to deal with them early on, even if it hurts at the time, but believe me it gets so much harder if you deal with it later in life.

Somethings are to difficult to deal with and do take time to recover from. deal with them when you are ready, but dont hold it off forever.

if anyone needs to talk anout their problems and feels comfortable talking to me, you are welcome to PM me or get onto MSN.

DodgetheLightning · Post by **DodgetheLightning** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 7:39 pm

that explains it. so why dont you talk about some of your problems? and why dont you talk about why you got better when you were 15? no-one knows how you lived through that.

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the tradgedy of lewellyn