find out what the 'christian right' thinks about your favori

CJBurgandy · Post by **CJBurgandy** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 10:57 am

Buffy Slayed Jesus?! Damn it, why was I never interested in that show. That would have been something to see.

SpasticSage · Post by **SpasticSage** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 1:07 pm

cjburgandy wrote: (I mean no offence to the Christians that read and post on this site)

None taken. The site's content filters out all those more-uptight people who would be offended.

I think it's an interesting take. Carry on (not that you need my permission or anything).

Disclaimer: SpasticSage speaks only for himself.

Happypeepeehead · Post by **Happypeepeehead** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 1:43 pm

cjburgandy wrote:
I think the only reason the author of the web site doesn't like it is because people think "Jewish" when they look at it. But in all fairness, the Christian Relgion was an off shoot of the Jewish. I mean, Christians are worshiping a dead (zombie) Jewish man.

(I mean no offence to the Christians that read and post on this site)

Heh heh. None taken here. I'm a sunday school teacher in the Roman Catholic faith and I always throw in that the idea of the ressurection is nothing like the zombie movies they have seen. *giggle*

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 3:31 pm

heheheh i Do NOT believe happ is a roman cathloic sunday school teacher.

that is like me teaching little baptists about jesus.

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 5:00 pm

Professor Farnsworth Said:

Sweet Zombie Jesus!

I've always been fond of refering to Christianity as "That Old Time Flesh Eating Religion". Unfortunately, the Father at the Catholic High School I attended didn't have a good sense of humor.

Anyway. Fuck a load of that CAP guy. Anyone who can't do enough research to know that they are basing their faith off a translation of a text that was almost completely rewritten to keep a certian king in power doesnt' deserve as much as attention as he gets.

Happypeepeehead · Post by **Happypeepeehead** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 8:58 pm

RantinAn wrote:heheheh i Do NOT believe happ is a roman cathloic sunday school teacher.

that is like me teaching little baptists about jesus.

Think of it this way: I can't think of a good example...

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 9:08 pm

*giggles* Mistress straps wins again

oh and.. 800th post! whooooo!

Happypeepeehead · Post by **Happypeepeehead** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 9:46 pm

Whooooo! *chainsaw*

CJBurgandy · Post by **CJBurgandy** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 12:44 am

I'm going to let you all in on a little secret because I love you all so much. I was once studying to become a bibical Scholar. I've read that damn Bible cover to cover so many times and books on corrections to translations and such and I discovered that most people on Christian faith had no idea what they were talking about. And my failed attempts to get people to listen to me after all those years of studying, just made me Jaded. I now use the bible as my tool of evil blasphamy... I mean, research in a story I'm writting... yes... research....

And no has yet to give me an answer on what the old hebrew slang word "couch lifter" means. What I ask! WHAT DOES IT MEAN! Why do couch lifters get casted into the pits of hell!? Why can't they lift couches in peace?!

If I find the book I read that in, I'll post the quote.... I just have to remember where I put it when I moved.

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 1:43 am

NO SHIT C.J.?

oh my gawd.

*grins* me too

AkaneJones · Post by **AkaneJones** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 2:01 am

Hum... Zombie Jesus
Yes, well the Jesus of History would be a Zombie as that's the only scientific explanation one could give for those events. Now I'm talking Voodoo Witch Doctor Zombie here and not those non-existent Movie creatures of the dead that rot eat brains and movie slow. But none of this at all has anything to do with the Jesus of Theology so it really has nothing to do with the actual religion.

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 11:42 am

If you're going to do a religion based on zombies, you may as well use the shuffling, brain-eating zombies of Hollywood fame. Religions today have to *pop*, why else do you think Scientology has all that stuff about evil clam spirits? It's a hell of a lot more exciting read that way.

Cuteswan · Post by **Cuteswan** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 2:10 pm

cjburgandy wrote:And no has yet to give me an answer on what the old hebrew slang word "couch lifter" means. What I ask! WHAT DOES IT MEAN! Why do couch lifters get casted into the pits of hell!? Why can't they lift couches in peace?!

After the world was created, God had to move and the mover broke a lot of his stuff and then claimed it wasn't their responsibility, so he told them to go to Hell. Since the word of God cannot be undone....

Actually, Jacob's oldest son Reuben "defiled his father's couch" by raping the hand-maiden of Jacob's second wife -- also his aunt, as Jacob had two wives who were also sisters (oh, and also Jacob's first cousins).... oh, and he had children with each of their handmaidens as well.

Couch seems to refer to the marital bed and consorting thereof, so I guess "couch lifter" refers to someone seducing or raping another person's spouse. But this is all just a guess.

(BTW, Reuben's lost his status as first born, which would have been good news for the next in line except he, Simon, and the next one, Levi, slaughtered an entire village as revenge for the rape of their little sister, Dinah. Personally, I would have given them medals for if it had been up to me, especially since they had tricked all of the men to undergo circumcision so they'd be in too much pain to fight back effectively.)

Happypeepeehead · Post by **Happypeepeehead** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 6:56 pm

There was a horror movie made not too long ago that tried to claim to be the most controversial movie ever about Zombie Jesus. In it, it began with Mary Magdelene discovering the tomb open and Satan twisted the corpse of Jesus so that it became a zombie. Eventually there were a ton of other Zombie Jesuses running around (kind of like how Ghastly has multiple Jesuses, but not as distinct as his, I suppose

).

Where's that damn link?
http://andrew_larrison.home.comcast.net/

Hmm... I guess there was only one zombie. Ah well.

H-Kat · Post by **H-Kat** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 7:12 pm

*shrugs*

I'm Dyonisan. Have been for about seven years.

-Kitty

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 8:58 pm

Excelent... all hail dyonisis. Without him discordian worship would be a LOT less fun.

*passes the bottle*

CJBurgandy · Post by **CJBurgandy** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 11:05 pm

cuteswan wrote:
Actually, Jacob's oldest son Reuben "defiled his father's couch" by raping the hand-maiden of Jacob's second wife -- also his aunt, as Jacob had two wives who were also sisters (oh, and also Jacob's first cousins).... oh, and he had children with each of their handmaidens as well.

Couch seems to refer to the marital bed and consorting thereof, so I guess "couch lifter" refers to someone seducing or raping another person's spouse. But this is all just a guess.

Wow, that makes a lot of Since. Can I use that to write to the person who wrote the book I read the term Couch lifter in? I mean, I feel stupid for not ever thinking about that myself, it's brilliant.... now if I could only find that book.