Comments and contructive critisism welcomed :)

Fluffball · Post by **Fluffball** » Tue Jun 15, 2004 3:55 am

And when I said it couldnt be done

Joel Fagin · Post by **Joel Fagin** » Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:22 am

Technical stuff...

Avoid using Arial if at all possible. You want a font which appears neatly hand-lettered. There're plenty around.

The line art is kinda grey. You should adjust the levels to darken it so it looks inked. That should also get rid of the light grey blotches, which probably left over from erasing pencil lines. I can also see some bright white spots where you erased on the computer (and my monitor is dark).

Erase the pencil border before you add the computer version. You can see them both between the second and third panels.

Capital letters are used inconsistantly. If you want to save yourself the bother, you can always use all caps - just not in Arial. I'd dump the "folx" too. It looks to a casual glance to be "fox", especially given the character there.

Drawing's great, but I'm no expert there so I can't pick at any little errors you might have.

Finally, the strip is too big to be viewed in 800x600 mode and only just squeezes in on 1024x768. It should be shrunk by at twenty pixels or so to give it a bit of a margin.

- Joel Fagin

Fluffball · Post by **Fluffball** » Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:38 am

In the words of Charlie Brown "AAAAAAAAARRRGGGGHH!!"
I was meaning to erase those line but forgot all about them >.<. Also I should have my hand slapped cause the reason theres erasure mars are cause I erased all the lines on the computer and that included that I wrote the dialoge and then erased the dialoge on the coputer and replaced them with computer text. Other then that what would be a size normally used?

Joel Fagin · Post by **Joel Fagin** » Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:57 am

fluffball wrote:Othrer then that what would be a size normally used?

Basically it just has to fit - with a margin of some sort - so just a little under the width of the browser window would be best. If you're assuming a minimum of 800x600 resolution, then make it around 740 pixels wide. If you're assuming 1024x768, then make it around 970.

This is ignoring bandwidth concerns, mind. The smaller the comic, the less bandwidth your readers will use and the less in-debt to Keenspace you'll be.

However, College Roomies From Hell has made me a fan of large comics.

- Joel Fagin

PS. Charlie Brown says "AUGH!" not "ARRG!"

Terotrous · Post by **Terotrous** » Tue Jun 15, 2004 6:50 am

In the second panel, the guy has no legs on the right side. He needs a really short vertical line connecting his torso to his tail.

Zhan_Dvega · Post by **Zhan_Dvega** » Tue Jun 15, 2004 7:36 am

Hmm... Well, doing a "hello welcome to my comic" comic is never looked upon favourably, nor is the "self-deprecating creator" bit. (Both of which I'm pretty sure have been covered on "How NOT To Run a Comic")

Ruxen · Post by **Ruxen** » Tue Jun 15, 2004 8:11 am

I'm no furry expert and you still draw them better then me but here are some more technical points I hope will be helpful:

First Panel:
Everything looks quite good, I'm envious of that great face you drew and the tail is great as well. The thumb that is hooked into the pocket is very very tiny compared to the one on the right hand.

Second Panel:
His hands seemed to have shrunk a bit from the first panel, either that or the right hand on the first panel was drawn too big. Don't worry about this too much just keep it in mind when drawing and practicing, I have a ton of trouble keeping my stuff to scale all the time.

Third Panel:
I believe unless he was at a perfect side view that the viewer would see some traces of your characters second ear, as it is right now it kind of looks like he lost one. If you look at a fox in side view:
Red Fox in Side View (My apologies for this being a print and not an actual photograph but I believe it will still work)
You'll notice that it's facial features are in relatively the same position as your characters and the tilt of his head is as well, so you can see a bit of it's other ear.
A Fox in perfect side view would have his eyes placed further to the front, and the tilt of his head is at a specific angle that I cannot name off the top of my head because I'm a math dunce

:
Fox Running

- You can also get some good free comic fronts from Blambot.com.

Keep in mind this was really picky and you're a very good artist, still looking forward to seeing your comic up! Keep drawing those great furries!

Dutch! · Post by **Dutch!** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 5:35 pm

It looks like a cross between Disney's Robin Hood and the Fox and the Hound already, so I thought it looked pretty cool.

I reckon the strip size is okay. Mine (see link in signature) is set at 900 pixels wide, basically because I am hoping to help aid the obsoletion of 800x600 monitors. Also, I think it is clearer in regard to dialogue.

I figured it was just a quick sketch one, so I wasn't so worried about sketch lines and so forth. As for the font, I just use Comic Sans cos I've thought it was cool since I started writing assignments on computer ten years ago.

Yeah, you've missed a line or two in the characters, but who cares? Well, not me, anyway. I do it all the time.

As for not doing a 'welcome to my comic' strip and taking the urine out of the creator, well, I found it really funny. If you aren't going to start with that cartoon because of the criticism in this regard, can I steal your punchline??

YarpsDat · Post by **YarpsDat** » Mon Jun 21, 2004 10:12 am

Breaking the 4th wall in the first strip, yeah, that's mightly oryginal.

Also what seems to be the white background of your comic isn't in fact white.
It's actually very light shades of grey... it probably doesn't show on your monitor, but on mine I can clearly see you used paintbrush to erase pencilled text or something else under the digital text. Using "curves" ol "levels" should solve that.

999pixels? What kind of width is that?

Anyways, make sure it's visible on 1024*800. considering the scroll bar on the right...
You know, there's one comic that is usualy 1000pixels wide, and it has a couple of pixels gap on the left for some reason, and I always have to scroll right, even though I know I'm only missing 5 pixels of panel border... but who knows, maybe it's an interesting panel border... (yeah, I'm obsessive-compulsive)
BTW, panel borders. Is that, 1 pixel line between panels, and 2px line around? Where are the gutters, man?
I'd make panel borders like 2-3 pixels wide, and put like 6-8 pixels of gutter between the panels.
It would have an added bonus of hiding your penciled borders.

BTW, I suggest that you scan in high res, then use curves to get rid of poorly erased pencils and make the inked lines blacker and stuff like that, then add the panels, and text, and _wordbubbles_. Save the oryginal, multilayered, high-res file. And then merge, and finally resize to 999 pixels wide.
It gives everything that smooth look. Without the need to blur.

Other than the "post production" technical side, the art looks rather cool...

ZOMBIE USER 19235 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 19235** » Tue Jun 22, 2004 5:58 pm

ok, here's my opinion.

Your style is pretty well rounded, i assume you've been drawing for a really long time, Nice

the comic seems pretty funny and that you're off to a pretty good start, i think you're pretty much on your way.

the only thing id really suggest is to put some kind of bubble around your text (who's to be talking, not even I have bubbles!!! lol I SHALL ADD THEM IN SOON!!! I just realized i wanted bubbles around my text)

but i love the fox people

maybe you could color it ? and add a bit of shading too. nice job so far tho!

Hiye · Post by **Hiye** » Wed Jun 23, 2004 8:42 am

Seems a bit wide. Maybe you should try aligning the panels vertically or cut down on the width.

It looks like you're well on your way already. You seem to have a rather good handle on your style. One thing I'd suggest, though, is darkening the lines and/or inking. Also, make sure to do levels/curves to get the white areas as white and possible. The ink would make your lines look sharper and more defined, and the contrast of the black on the white would make it look more polished.

As for the dialogue/content, well, I think the others have covered that well enough. The joke is amusing, but as they've said, always make sure to check with HNTRAC first.

RadPal · Post by **RadPal** » Wed Jun 23, 2004 1:50 pm

The actual artwork is impressive and very well done. Even missing lines that are present can be worked in as your style.

Only problem, like stated before, are the technical aspects of scanning / refining the work. Levels can do wonders (now I'm just being redundant

) and can turn a sketch into what appears to be an inking.

Just play around with it until you get the perfect balance.

As for speech bubbles - many times they are not even used, it really depends on your comic's style. If in later strips the dialogue begins to become longer and more involved (several different characters speaking in one panel) you may want to begin using bubbles, mainly to avoid confusion and add a more defined sense to the appearance of the strip.

Alaina · Post by **Alaina** » Wed Jun 23, 2004 2:27 pm

It's rather blurry. Perhaps adjusting the contrast, like many have already mentioned, will change that. And you should clean up the pencil a bit--I can see the lines you drew for panel structure next to the ones you made on the computer.

Steve Bryant · Post by **Steve Bryant** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 3:44 am

Your grasp of gestural figure drawing is terrific. The character looks natural and really feels like he's communicating with the reader.

Some things to consider:

I understand what you're going for with the static camera angle, but a conversation scene can be made even more interesting by varying your point-of-view: Maybe in panel two, we zoom in for a 3/4 view close up and panel three is a semi-overhead shot with the entire figure in frame, dwarfed by the panel size, really punctuating the "...creator is flat broke" line.

I'd like to see some background, especially in the first panel. Not necessarily anything elaborate, but just something that gives us a sense of the environment that the character is in...something to give us a feeling that the character is grounded in a 3d space.

I agree with the comments others have posted regarding the contrast. Another consideration would be to ink the strip with a brush. I think the snap of a solid thick/thin brush line would really complement your fluid figure work.

Really great work, though!!

--Steve

Joel Fagin · Post by **Joel Fagin** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 3:54 am

Steve Bryant wrote:I understand what you're going for with the static camera angle...

Hmm. I disagree for this example. The fact that the fourth wall is being broken makes a static angle all the more like the character is addressing the camera.

- Joel Fagin

Steve Bryant · Post by **Steve Bryant** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 2:22 pm

Joel Fagin wrote:
Steve Bryant wrote:I understand what you're going for with the static camera angle...
Hmm. I disagree for this example. The fact that the fourth wall is being broken makes a static angle all the more like the character is addressing the camera.

I disagree with your disagreement..?

By saying that I understood what he was shooting for with the static camera angle, I thought it was clear that I was endorsing it as a perfectly valid approach. I must not have been clear. My bad.

What I was saying, however, was that there are other ways to approach that particular scene (or future scenes that may or may not involve breaking the fourth wall)...other equally valid storytelling approaches.

Maybe I've seen one too many webcomics where the artist keeps a static POV and does everything et eye level, but I was merely offering other solutions.

Of course, since we're all individuals with our own particular influences and preferences, we will all solve storytelling problems in our own way.

--Steve

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Comments and contructive critisism welcomed :)

Comments and contructive critisism welcomed :)

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