What's the most clueless gift you've ever received?

KittyKatBlack · Post by **KittyKatBlack** » Fri Mar 19, 2004 11:46 pm

yeahduff wrote:We all can use some deodorant. Just not for Christmas.

Poor Yeahduff. No one knows how to give good presents anymore.

*gives Yeahduff a box of breath mints*

You've earned 'em, buddy!

Yeahduff · Post by **Yeahduff** » Sat Mar 20, 2004 1:01 am

Ummm... thanks.

*cups hand over nose and mouth*
*exhales*
*quickly applies breath mint*

Stupid Texas toast....

MariaAndMichelle · Post by **MariaAndMichelle** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 8:58 am

Not a Clueless Gift, but here still seemed like the right place to post this:

Today we both got wooden tulips from our friend Jillian which she bought for us in Holland. We thought that was pretty cool. It made us think of all you Netherlanders.

War · Post by **War** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 9:06 am

I got a giant ornate pencil. It's a foot long. What the hell can I do with a foot long pencil?!

MariaAndMichelle · Post by **MariaAndMichelle** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 10:30 am

You? We imagine there are about a billion places on the human body where you could use it to impale someone.

K-Dawg · Post by **K-Dawg** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 12:52 pm

Digital War wrote:I got a giant ornate pencil. It's a foot long. What the hell can I do with a foot long pencil?!

I had one of those. They were great to use as a weapon and just smack someone up the side of the head.

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 8:21 am

ShineDog wrote:i think they reckoned he must have been doing around 100.

100 mph is a safe speed provided you are a capable driver who can handle your car at that speed and in an emergency at that speed.

It's never a safe speed if other drivers are on the road, if the road is wet, you're impaired somehow, etcetera.

Not nearly everyone who drives fast is taking an exceptional risk, or putting others directly at risk.

It's hardly fair to say, "Ooh, you have a fast car and so you must drive fast all the time and thus you sound like a fuckwad."

Actually, based on your story, the only real fuckwad was your friend who died. Blaming other drivers for his lack of skill and bad luck may make you feel good and righteous, but it isn't going to bring him back.

Warren · Post by **Warren** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 8:37 am

rkolter wrote:
ShineDog wrote:i think they reckoned he must have been doing around 100.
100 mph is a safe speed provided you are a capable driver who can handle your car at that speed and in an emergency at that speed.

Well, the car matters too. I had a Hyundai Excel that I wouldn't drive above 80. Tires were too narrow, car was too light, etc....

My '96 Chevy Cav is probably safe until around 95 because of the extra mass, and the fact it isn't as top heavy as an SUV.

A friend had a early 80's Monte Carlo. Safe at any speed, provided you didn't hit anything.

Superlance · Post by **Superlance** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:50 pm

Warren wrote: Safe at any speed, provided you didn't hit anything.

So is a rocket.
Or a bullet.
Or a train.

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 5:06 am

Superlance wrote:
Warren wrote: Safe at any speed, provided you didn't hit anything.

So is a rocket.
Or a bullet.
Or a train.

Oh, now that's not fair.

Warren's comment obviously meant that the vehicle was safe at any speed, provided the driver was capable of driving safely at that speed. Nor did Warren block out any of my previous restrictions - so that's safe at any speed, provided the driver can handle the vehicle at that speed, the road is dry, there isn't any traffic, etcetera.

Warren · Post by **Warren** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 6:52 am

rkolter wrote:
Superlance wrote:
Warren wrote: Safe at any speed, provided you didn't hit anything.

So is a rocket.
Or a bullet.
Or a train.
Oh, now that's not fair.

Warren's comment obviously meant that the vehicle was safe at any speed, provided the driver was capable of driving safely at that speed. Nor did Warren block out any of my previous restrictions - so that's safe at any speed, provided the driver can handle the vehicle at that speed, the road is dry, there isn't any traffic, etcetera.

Exactly.

Attending high school in the 80's, we had to watch "drivers ed" movies. They were obviously almost 25 years old at the time, and were footage of real car accidents. I still have the image (and sound) burned in my mind when after a little kid had been run down, they brought his Mother to the scene.

Like two minutes after it happened.

But you see, while that film was trying to convey how dangerous cars and speed can be, all cars can be inherently dangerous.

Did you know people have been killed by someone tapping their car in a parking lot at 5 mph? Seems sometimes the airbag has a funny way of going off at slow speeds.

I stand by RKolter's assertion that with the right combination of factors a car can safely be driven at high speeds. And yes, I've lost friends in car accidents where they were the fuckwads. It sucks, but sometimes people just think their skills are better than reality allows.

And Superlance, comparing speeding to a bullet? You can't be serious. Bullets are meant to kill things. Cars aren't.

Grabmygoblin · Post by **Grabmygoblin** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 7:29 am

Warren wrote: And Superlance, comparing speeding to a bullet? You can't be serious. Bullets are meant to kill things. Cars aren't.

unless it is one of those cars from those post-apocolyptic films where the car is all souped up with battering rams and chainsaws and sawed-off shotguns.
or its a hummer.

Grabmygoblin · Post by **Grabmygoblin** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 7:31 am

those are the same things, come to think of it.

Superlance · Post by **Superlance** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 10:23 am

Warren wrote:
rkolter wrote:
Superlance wrote:
So is a rocket.
Or a bullet.
Or a train.

And Superlance, comparing speeding to a bullet? You can't be serious. Bullets are meant to kill things. Cars aren't.

Unless you count Christine; giant trucks possed by meteors; a Buick 8 with the steering wheel the size of a table; a great, ugly black car in the middle of a desert; and any car driven by terrorists.

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 10:53 am

Superlance wrote:
Warren wrote:
rkolter wrote:

And Superlance, comparing speeding to a bullet? You can't be serious. Bullets are meant to kill things. Cars aren't.

Unless you count Christine; giant trucks possed by meteors; a Buick 8 with the steering wheel the size of a table; a great, ugly black car in the middle of a desert; and any car driven by terrorists.

Christine, I'll give you. Ditto trucks ala Maximum Overdrive. I'm not sure about the Buick 8, and wasn't the ugly black car in the desert possessed by the devil? If so, it's the devil hunting ya down, not the car.

Superlance · Post by **Superlance** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 10:57 am

rkolter wrote:
Superlance wrote:
Warren wrote:
Unless you count Christine; giant trucks possed by meteors; a Buick 8 with the steering wheel the size of a table; a great, ugly black car in the middle of a desert; and any car driven by terrorists.
Christine, I'll give you. Ditto trucks ala Maximum Overdrive. I'm not sure about the Buick 8, and wasn't the ugly black car in the desert possessed by the devil? If so, it's the devil hunting ya down, not the car.

You've never read A Buick 8?
Oh, man; that is one of Steven King's best books in my opinion.

YarpsDat · Post by **YarpsDat** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:36 pm

My family has a car. It's sorta blue-ish, and round-ish.
...
And you can't open back doors from the outside.
...
Yeah, I know nothing about cars.

And I got my drivers license sometime last year, but I've yet have to use it.

MariaAndMichelle · Post by **MariaAndMichelle** » Wed Mar 24, 2004 7:03 pm

YarpsDat wrote:My family has a car. It's sorta blue-ish, and round-ish.

Ooo! Does it have those things?

Superlance · Post by **Superlance** » Wed Mar 24, 2004 10:36 pm

MariaAndMichelle wrote:
YarpsDat wrote:My family has a car. It's sorta blue-ish, and round-ish.
Ooo! Does it have those things?

You mean a 3.2 liter I-6, with DOHC?

Or a six-disk CD changer?

I'm nutty.

*eats peanuts*
Yum.

Brockway · Post by **Brockway** » Thu Mar 25, 2004 6:02 am

You don't need a cd changer if you have one of those sony atrac players.

I've got like 32 hours of music on 1 cd. Great for road trips. I listened to the entire radio play version of the hitchikers guide to the galaxy on my way home a month or so ago.