Release the Hounds!

[Terotrous]

<a href="http://phbites.keenspace.com"> Philosophy Bites </a> is a year old. It's hard to believe. Looking at the first strips, it looks like a lot more.

And now, I'm here asking for a critique again. I think it's fair seeing as how my previous thread died in the forum collapse and was months old anyway.

Please don't hold anything back. I want to know what people actually think. Feel free to be brutal, abrubt, or even personally insulting. I want it all.

<a href="http://phbites.keenspace.com"> Here's the link again </a>, in case the other two aren't obvious enough.

[CodeGuy]

The navigation buttons are next to the comic instead of below it, btw. The spacing problem is true on the arcives, too.

Did you mean to have two sets of the buttons so close together on the main page?

The Dec 31st comic doesn't have the nav buttons at all. I hit Prev Comic from the main page to get there, then I was stuck.

Art wise, I can't tell the characters apart. It's not so bad when you do a color comic, but the rest of the time all I really see is the female character and the everybody-else character.

I didn't really laugh a lot. I'm not sure why not. Most of what happened was unexpected. I think I just didn't care about the characters enough to care when something odd happened because of them. I don't dislike them, I just don't feel any connection to them.

[Terotrous]

The navigation buttons are next to the comic instead of below it, btw. The spacing problem is true on the arcives, too.

Did you mean to have two sets of the buttons so close together on the main page?

The Dec 31st comic doesn't have the nav buttons at all. I hit Prev Comic from the main page to get there, then I was stuck.

That's cause I misdated a commentary. Oops. Time to go fix that.

[DEVO-Bot]

Well, *I* like it. It's a good light escape from the drudgery of making my own webcomic, and, you know, everyday life.

[Phalanx]

I've just finished reading your entire archives.

To be honest, while there were a few strips that I quite liked, but the majority of them were quite erm... bland? I'm not sure if that's the right word.

It's not that it's bad. It's not bad, but it doesn't connect. The characters feel... distant. Like Codeguy mentioned, you couldn't connect with(and thus care for) them.

The thing that annoys me the most are the failed funnies, where the strip attempts to be funny but leaves the reader (or me, at least) unamused, or even worse, just confused.

I'm not sure what's wrong with it- somehow despite reading so many pages with so many characters, you still feel like strangers to them by the time you get to the end of the archives. It's kinda like... you get to see them do all sorts of things, but not much of why they do it. (Granted, I have this problem as well, but then I've just started)

Maybe if you expanded the characters a bit things would fall into place more.

One thing though- I know your comic isn't supposed to be art- intensive, but the lack of depth and perspective in the pictures was one of the reasons reading Philosophy Bites (ironically) made me feel distant. Yeah yeah. Minor nitpick, but one I thought I should mention.

The bottomline is: You comic currently feels mediocre- which is worse than being just bad because it's too easily forgettable. You need something to make it distinctive- so that it sticks in a reader's head and keeps them comic back for more. If your comic can make a reader think about it even after they've closed the browser and logged off, then half the battle is already won.

I hope I haven't been too harsh. My apologies if I have. I'm in one of those no-sugar coat moods.

[Terotrous]

That was the kind of critique I was after. Objective.

It's not that it's bad. It's not bad, but it doesn't connect. The characters feel... distant. Like Codeguy mentioned, you couldn't connect with (and thus care for) them.

Hence the reason critiques are important - I had no idea this was even an issue. I must admit I was kinda suprised by this because I suppose I didn't think it was important. I've written extremely character-driven stuff before, but generally not in a comedy setting. Doing character development in a three panel setup leaves little room for jokes and vice-versa.

I'm not really sure what you're looking for in connection. I would think Philosophy Bites has a sortof "hey, I knew someone like that" quality to it. The characters are all broad stereotypes: there's the nerd, the blend-in, and... whatever Ress is. Lunatic/activist/slacker. Or something. I would imagine my strip doesn't connect on the same level as Zits, but I just can't claim to be that good.

I've actually had people say just the opposite - that they could really identify with the characters. I'd like to find out more about this issue.

The thing that annoys me the most are the failed funnies, where the strip attempts to be funny but leaves the reader (or me, at least) unamused, or even worse, just confused.

I suspect the root of the problem lies here. Philosophy Bites is purely humour-oriented. If you don't think it's funny, you won't get much out of it. This isn't one of those strips where you walk away, and you're kind of disillusioned and have a whole new perspective on life. Ideally, you would walk away in a good mood because it made you laugh. It's light stuff. The title of the strip seems more ironic every day.

Maybe if you expanded the characters a bit things would fall into place more.

This is probably an issue of "narrowing". Each of the characters represents a wide range of people, so it may be hard to put a face on them individually. I find character expansion strips tend to be out of place in gag comics, so I've worked it in really slowly. You can see that things do develop over the first 150 strips (I've scripted over 700), but it happens very slowly.

One thing though- I know your comic isn't supposed to be art- intensive, but the lack of depth and perspective in the pictures was one of the reasons reading Philosophy Bites (ironically) made me feel distant. Yeah yeah. Minor nitpick, but one I thought I should mention.

I'm working on it. It can't be denied that the strip gets better visually as it goes on.

The bottomline is: You comic currently feels mediocre- which is worse than being just bad because it's too easily forgettable. You need something to make it distinctive- so that it sticks in a reader's head and keeps them comic back for more. If your comic can make a reader think about it even after they've closed the browser and logged off, then half the battle is already won.

I suppose you could chalk this up to different expectations/preferences in reading comics. This is light reading, plain and simple. It exists to make you laugh. If you don't laugh, the strip fails for you. Philosophy Bites is structured specifically not to be deep. If PB sticks something in your head, it's a joke. That's about as far as it goes.


It's pretty obvious that this strip isn't your cup of tea, but I am interested in what strips you thought were good. Or particularly bad. I find an example helps a lot better than most other things.

[Phalanx]

Despite the fact I do adventure comics, I do read a lot of humour comics. Heck, my first comics were humour ones. I have another humour comic lined up for when I ever finish the Jaded, but that's another story...

The strips I liked:

- The one where Macaw gets a 96 on his test despite not studying
- The one about the ridiculous news broadcaster
- The one about the 'nerds' bathroom.
- The one where Ress gets a car

The ones I didn't get at all:

- Down with capitalism (Ress)
- The philosophy one where Ress almost ceases to exist if she stops thinking

The rest were kinda ok, but nothing really special.

I wouldn't worry about hte art too much- I'm sure it would improve. It might do you good if you experimented with cinematography, though. Change camera angles once in a while.

Maybe the reason why I can't connect with the chracters; because they are too stereotyped. The only one I like is Macaw, Brett and Ress annoy the heck out of me.

Anyway, I hope that helped

[Terotrous]

One bump just in case anyone else out there might have something to say.

[Cinematic]

I very much agree with the criticism given by Phalanx. The comic is just... flat. The characters are stereotyped and generally one-dimensional. The simplicity of the artwork, while in some cases makes it distinct, here just makes it look... sloppy. Like you didn't have a lot of time to devote to it. It evolves over time, slowly, but all it does is make bad art cleaner. Yes, I'm being judgemental. Don't take everything here as harsh as it sounds; I've had 5 midyears in the last 3 days.

The one about throwing cheeseburgers at Jared from Subway made me smile inside. And giggle out loud. And see it in my head. And... yeah. In fact, I love that image. I love it so...

In general, though? At least for me, this comic doesn't appeal to my sense of humor. And I have a very strange sense of humor, I'll be the first to admit, but even I found this difficult to keep going forward in your archive (I always go front-to-back, not the other way around). If I weren't trying to be helpful, I probably wouldn't have read it at all after the third or fourth comic. I guess it just doesn't hook me.

Also, it seems like a lot of your punchlines are in-jokes. In-jokes are a HUGE no-no in cartooning; your friends will get them, but the rest of the world won't. Maybe I'm wrong and I just don't get the humor... but... well, it's something I would change.

NOTE: I'm not saying this because I think I'm better than this at all; in fact I know I'm not. I have a lot of the same problems. But you asked for honest opinions. Here it is. Good luck with it. Ask for a critique next year and I'll definitely read to see if anything's improved.

*raises a sad toast* here's to comics...