He may live on the bottom of a lake, but that monster's got taste!!
Some of Groucho's words of wisdom:
I Wouldn't Join Any Club that Would Have Me as a Member
A child of five would understand this. Send somebody to fetch a child of five!
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read
How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
My mother loved children; she would have given anything if I had been one
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing
it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Now there's a man with an open mind ; you can feel the breeze from
here!
There is only one way to find out if a man is honest...ask him. If he says 'yes', you know he is crooked.
Time wounds all heels.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury
I drink to make other people interesting.
Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution.
A man is as old as the women he feels.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
My brother thinks he's a chicken - we don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs.
Here's to our wives and girlfriends... May they never meet.
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with