Serious topic

Faub · Post by **Faub** » Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:35 pm

My comic covers some pretty serious emotional ground, lots of emotional violence as opposed to physical violence. Basically, I try to imagine the worst possible situation and then write about it from the victim's point of view. What's been happening is that some (well one anyway) of my readers are starting to identify with the victims, especially in the current storyline thread that deals a bit with child abuse.

This is seriously creeping me out. I would like to help this person but I have no idea who (s)he is and I'm not L33t enough to try to track down a physical location based on an IP address (which I don't even have because my tagboard doesn't log activity). I think doing so would creep out the person I wanted to help anyway so what's the point in trying?

How would you deal with this when you know something really horrible is happening and you can't do anything about it?

LennyZ · Post by **LennyZ** » Wed Nov 12, 2003 2:13 pm

I've never read your comic before, but I think I'll start now.

There realistically isn't much you can do, especially if you don't know who it is and if s/he would reject the help anyway.

It seems the person identifies with your comic. Maybe you can send a message through that.

Maybe make the victim in your comic go through the steps toward a "recovery", or just until the victim is able to "deal with" the abuse, and not in a self-injuring manner.

For example, if your comic had featured a girl who was pregnant and extremely scared, maybe even considering an abortion without telling anyone, you could use that comic to show how the girl could go through the process and end up okay. Like maybe she speaks to the father of the baby about it, or learns a bunch of facts about teen pregnancy and how to prevent in the future...and maybe your reader will pick up the message.

It's a very gray area, and I'm sorry if my advice, well, sucked.

Good luck, and if anyone needs information or help on STD's (STI's) or protection, you can contact me. I know a whole buncha crap.

Chrismills · Post by **Chrismills** » Wed Nov 12, 2003 3:43 pm

Geez, I really don't know what I would do in your situation. I think Lenny has the right idea, though. Do what you can, but don't beat yourself up over what you can't. Offer to be there if she wants help, but don't try to force yourself on her by tracking her down. Is it a kid you're talking about, or an adult who is coming to terms with something that once happened to her?

Phalanx · Post by **Phalanx** » Wed Nov 12, 2003 5:13 pm

I don't think there is anything you could do directly at this point, Faub.

The best thing I can think of is just keep doing your comic and sending your message through it, like all the others have suggested.

If Lost comes back again, try and get her/his contact details, or at least make it plain that you're available as someone to confide to.

That's about all you can do for now, I think.

Tenma · Post by **Tenma** » Wed Nov 12, 2003 5:39 pm

Well, if all that has been said by Lost is that one post on the tagboard, I think there might be a bit of a misunderstanding here.

Lost wrote:That really hits hard...situations like these do happen from time to time, it's not just a story to tell. I lived through many many situations just like this with parents ten times worse. It's nice to see that although nobody could ever really understand, atleast someone knows the pain. Thank you.

It seems to me that Lost is an adult or older teen who has lived through similar experiences and simply identifies with what is going on in your comic. I don't think this is an emergency situation or a cry for help, unless there's more to it than this that I don't know about.

Later...
--Tenma

McDuffies · Post by **McDuffies** » Wed Nov 12, 2003 7:37 pm

Seems so. In that case you helped already.

Faub · Post by **Faub** » Wed Nov 12, 2003 8:44 pm

In any case, it caught me by surprise.

One of the upcoming threads of the story is how the girl deals with her parents. I don't think she's going to handle it the "right" way, though since that's not really her point in the story. I have tried to make other people in the story do the right thing in their situations, though.

For those who don't read the comic, the thread of the story in question is about a 15 year old girl (Shelly) who gets abducted on the street on her way to school and appears two hours later with a torn shirt. During her captivity, another girl dresses up like her and takes her place in school so she appears to have been present for at least first period. Nobody is willing to take the time to understand or find out what actually happened to her. Her parents jump to the conclusion that she is somehow to blame for the attack. Instead of being parents, they attack the victim, even going so far as to slap her for letting it happen.

Shelly's basically the kind of girl who wears long sleeve shirts to school so nobody can see the bruises on her arms. She's meek because she's grown up to believe that speaking out causes bad things to happen. You've heard the stories: Father yells and beats the wife. The wife takes it out on the child. (The story hasn't gotten that far yet but I intend it to be one page at the end of issue 3 where Shelly makes her decision what to do about it.)

There will be people for Shelly to turn to eventually but the story won't be about fixing the wrongs of the parents, it will be more about living alone in a world where there's no one to turn to. (Grand ideals, yeah. I haven't written a word yet.)

So, this is the thing that's really bothering me at the moment. There are people who identify with Shelly because of what she's going through. I want to set a good example and see the problem fixed but at the same time, the story lets Shelly make some bad decisions and could potentially make her situation worse. I don't want to be responsible for telling kids to run away from home.

Underbelly · Post by **Underbelly** » Wed Nov 12, 2003 8:52 pm

I don't know if you can help hat specific person, if indeed, they really need it right now, but I like to think of writing about problems like this in comics, movies, and books as 'preventative fiction'. If people are emotionally involved enough in your work, they will empathize, and would never be able to be the aggressor in a situation like that themselves.

Emotional involvement and empathy are are very influential in developing people's morality. I had a girlefriend when I was a teenager that was molested, and, years later, it's still a strong emotional element in my personality. Knowing somebody who's gone through that when you're a kid can give you a very strong sense of right and wrong.

And I'd like to think that if your work is strong enough, it can touch people in the same way, and guide them in the same way.

Tenma · Post by **Tenma** » Wed Nov 12, 2003 9:47 pm

Faub, I wouldn't worry too much about injecting a lesson into your comic. Whichever way you decide to tell the story, people will be able to learn from it. If the character does the right things and everything works out, that's cool. But if the character makes the mistakes and things turn out poorly, impressionable readers can learn from that too.

Just stick to your creative guns, and everything will be fine. :-)

Later...
--Tenma

Yeahduff · Post by **Yeahduff** » Wed Nov 12, 2003 11:27 pm

People are gonna pull things from your work no matter what you meant to say. It's not your job as cartoonist to teach lessons or serve as an example to anyone. If someone sees something in your comic and decides to emulate it, and in the end gets hurt, that is the person's decision and is no fault of yours. You're just telling a story. This might not affect how you feel about it, but that's how it is, so try to take comfort in that. If anyone runs away from home after reading Fallen Angels Used Books, they were probably gonna do it anyway. Just tell the story the way you wanna tell it, and don't worry about sending messages to anyone.

Jops · Post by **Jops** » Thu Nov 13, 2003 1:14 am

Faub, my suggestion is to do nothing unless he/she asks you for your help. It's a very delicate matter and an unasked attempt to help could be seen as a sort of "invasion" of his/her "world", and it would only make things go worse!

YarpsDat · Post by **YarpsDat** » Thu Nov 13, 2003 4:44 am

Well, you can always provide discaimer: "kids do not try this at home, [whatever your character does] is not an answer, your should [the right thing]"

And reading lost's post my first impression was that these are painful childchood memories, not the present troubles. It may be just my impression though, maybe grammar suggests otherwise (I can't tell).

Anyways, you shouldn't worry too much. If you get all stressed up over the situation, you'll have trouble helping. Of course a bit of sympathety is required, but I find your replies to that post a bit scary, in a "mom in panic to the rescue" kind of way.

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Thu Nov 13, 2003 4:57 am

Jops wrote:Faub, my suggestion is to do nothing unless he/she asks you for your help. It's a very delicate matter and an unasked attempt to help could be seen as a sort of "invasion" of his/her "world", and it would only make things go worse!

I've gotta agree here. There is another side that you may not have considered seriously - that the writer is lying.

It's a cruddy thing to do, but it wouldn't be the first time it's been done. And if the writer is lying and you try to help, you could do some serious harm to an otherwise healthy family.

Faub · Post by **Faub** » Thu Nov 13, 2003 8:01 pm

These are all very good points. Thanks. I certainly don't qualify as a professional in these matters. Psych 101 was like what, 8 years ago?

As far as being scary in a "mom in panic to the rescue" sort of thing, I guess it would be a good idea to step back for a moment and try to look at this objectively. It's kinda hard since I can't imagine anyone lying about that sort of thing. (Well, okay I can but I've never had any experience with someone doing that.)

The story will continue for good or evil. I'll just see what happens from here.