The Ugly Truth About Xe

Hraxmeim · Post by **Hraxmeim** » Sun Aug 25, 2002 2:06 am

Xheotris: Harmless Cutie or Ticking Time Bomb?

As Xe revealed at Cornerstone, he is a vegetarian. A dietary choice such as that is no big deal to humans like us, but to a weasel like him it is much more serious. Weasels are obligate carnivores. Like cats, they can't survive on vegetable matter alone. Humans are omnivores, and vegetarianism still isn't entirely healthy. For a weasel, a vegetarian diet is a recipe for slow starvation. That certainly explains why he looks so malnourished: he is!

Hunger makes people do strange things. One Jamestown colonist killed his wife and dusted her with flour so he could eat her. Near the end, Xe's survival instincts will kick in. He will become the high power killing machine that nature made him. All those near him will be slaughtered and consumed to provide the fuel he so desperately needs.

Furthermore, I submit that this macabre turn of events has already occurred. In his past Xe had a different set of friends. Some of them were vegetarians, so he became one so he could fit in. Time passed and Xe's health slowly declined from his inadequate diet. Eventually it became too much. In an animal rage he killed them all and ate them. When he regained his senses and saw what he had done, it was more than his mind could take. The trauma caused his amnesia. In addition, the repressed memories placed in him a subconscious aversion to meat, meaning that it would all inevitably happen again.

Xe has been with Ciaran for quite a while. He can't have much time left. I have a feeling the situation is going to get real ugly, real fast.

W.M.Y.L.G. Joe · Post by **W.M.Y.L.G. Joe** » Sun Aug 25, 2002 8:00 am

You think too hard.

Hraxmeim · Post by **Hraxmeim** » Sun Aug 25, 2002 9:32 am

W.M.Y.L.G. Joe wrote:You think too hard.

It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

ArraSkysong · Post by **ArraSkysong** » Sun Aug 25, 2002 12:01 pm

Wow..... I take it no one's told Xe about this.

Poor little guy. And he's so sweet, too.

Rowan Bristol · Post by **Rowan Bristol** » Sun Aug 25, 2002 3:07 pm

The pain consumes me
I've tried so hard to be good
Winter coat forming

MongooseQuarrel · Post by **MongooseQuarrel** » Sun Aug 25, 2002 4:26 pm

merp-I sacred now....*hugs her teddy bear*

so....Xe's gonna marry Twap..then HE'S GONNA EAT HER??? then, he'll walk over to Keer's place and DEVOUR KEER?? an'...Erin'll haveta fight Xe!Ta save everybody else!
*goes back to hugging Temporia*

Gloria · Post by **Gloria** » Sun Aug 25, 2002 6:43 pm

*cracks up laughing over Rowan's haiku*

whoo, ha ha, hee!!!

This is probably one of the more interesting theories involving my characters, I must say. ;)

_Otterhare_ · Post by **_Otterhare_** » Sun Aug 25, 2002 8:06 pm

**twitches** That scares me...O.o Thanks a lot.

Anyways....it /could/ be true, but Xe's such a sweetie, I can't imagine that...

Rico Underwood · Post by **Rico Underwood** » Mon Aug 26, 2002 2:00 pm

Proves the point you can't trust anyone, eh? o.o

ZOMBIE USER 7262 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 7262** » Mon Aug 26, 2002 2:45 pm

I have no evidence to back this up, and, in fact, the only alibi I have is that the Subway cookie I ate an hour ago seemed unusually high in sugar...but I think Ailourouphasia's true form is that of a mango. Yes, a mango.

I'll give you five minutes to stop laughing at me. And stop staring at me like that.

Zulu Amoz · Post by **Zulu Amoz** » Mon Aug 26, 2002 4:18 pm

Elix wrote:I have no evidence to back this up, and, in fact, the only alibi I have is that the Subway cookie I ate an hour ago seemed unusually high in sugar

Mmmm... sugar! Sugar is very good.

ArraSkysong · Post by **ArraSkysong** » Mon Aug 26, 2002 5:15 pm

Elix, have you been reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, or do you just naturally sound like Douglas Adams?

W.M.Y.L.G. Joe · Post by **W.M.Y.L.G. Joe** » Mon Aug 26, 2002 5:36 pm

That book is currently sitting in front of me (all five volumes) I read the first a long time ago and I must say it is THE best comedy ever written by human hand. No argument about it. They're next on my list to read now that I finished Watership down. Douglas Adams was a genius. Ironic how he hated writing novels...

ZOMBIE USER 10925 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 10925** » Mon Aug 26, 2002 5:52 pm

IIRC, he ended the universe so completely at the end of the fifth to prevent any more sequels to his "trilogy in five parts". I have also "experienced" "The long dark teatime of the soul" and "Dirk gently's holistic detective agency".

Crash · Post by **Crash** » Mon Aug 26, 2002 5:56 pm

Somehow, i associate Elix with Marvin's voice, even though he doesn't deserve that... he's not nearly mopey enough.

ZOMBIE USER 7262 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 7262** » Tue Aug 27, 2002 12:49 am

Y'know... I've never had anyone ask me that.

I've read/heard/been exposed to part of the first book by a pair of friends who were fairly obsessed with it...including hearing part of the radioplay.

And here's the sweet irony of Crash's remark: I can do a frighteningly good impression of Marvin. "Well, excuse me for breathing which I don't do anyway so I don't know why I bothered to apologize...god, I'm so depressed..." (If you're all good, I'll record that and put it online...)

Rowan Bristol · Post by **Rowan Bristol** » Tue Aug 27, 2002 6:13 am

Elix wrote:I have no evidence to back this up,...but I think Ailourouphasia's true form is that of a mango. Yes, a mango.

Elix is very high
insulin not sufficient
Truly a Froot Loop

"I only come here...Seeking Peace" VNVNation

ZOMBIE USER 10925 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 10925** » Tue Aug 27, 2002 8:33 am

haiku is for you
is there room in here for two
to play at this game

Towel Day is for her
Elix is really out there
but we love her so

out surfing the net
the tiger called spectre looks
for peace hope and friends

ZOMBIE USER 7262 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 7262** » Tue Aug 27, 2002 9:45 am

Towel Day is for her
Elix is really out there
but we love her so

o_.

I am a man, I say!
I am a man today!
I have always been a man!
That was the first plan!</dr.seuss>

Hehe... don't feel bad, Eric. You're not the first to think that. (TheSpark.com's told me I'm a woman four times now...but I don't believe 'em.) And I appreciate the sentiment, too.

ZOMBIE USER 10925 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 10925** » Tue Aug 27, 2002 9:52 am

ack, sorry, I guess it is the hair and blush. :)

Also, your profile has an email address user name "human_weight_doll". :)

"We are gathered here today to witness the union of Princess Vespa, and Princess Valium. ... Prince Valium. Sorry, it's the hair." - Priest, Spaceballs: The Movie

"Is it a man? Is it a woman? Should we ask?" - Narrator, Final Fantasy 3 (US) introducing Gogo