Oogachaka, inDEED!

[UncleMonty]

Ah, so that is the secret.

Women don't like fat men, but they like making their men fat. Such is the way of the Caloric Tau.

[Random George]

i have no objection to a solidly built fella. i just don't like obesity, and i don't like people who are unhealthy. what it comes down to is that when i see someone who is greviously out of shape, i have to ask himself if it's a dietary issue, a genetic issue, or simply a lack of self-respect that makes him not take care of himself like he should. before people start yelling at me, understand that i have struggled with my own weight for more than half my life, and i understand the full range of genetic, sociological, and behavioural factors that lead to obesity. i'm also not talking about someone who just has some extra pounds or a bit of a tummy on him and is trying to eat right and exercise. i'm talking about the fella over there who hasn't seen his feet since the 90s but continues to stuff down fried chicken, barbecue, and potato chips, whose exercise plan includes walking three blocks to the DQ for a peanut buster parfait once a week, who wonders why he just can't seem to lose the weight. i have sympathy for him, and his battles with his weight and self-esteem, and i'm more than willing to offer moral support and friendship, but as a potential mate, i'm not interested. i'm sorry if i sound callous, but i would avoid getting involved with someone who had obvious impulse control problems with drugs or alcohol if i could tell that from outward appearance and behaviour (which you sometimes can, you sometimes can't). i don't date smokers. as my dear sweet mother puts it, dating is an audition for marriage. i'm not husband-hunting, but if i date someone for more than a month, or start looking at exclusive dating, i have to ask myself if this person represents a collection of attitudes, habits, and traits i would be comfortable considering for the long term--months or years. personal health is very important, as is self-esteem.

men do the same thing with women, though. they all seem to want women who never sweat, cook like betty crocker, and still maintain a size 6 figure. a previous beau complained loudly if i cooked anything except meat and potatoes, and could not be dragged from his sofa to go for walks with me. the same fellow (surprisingly no longer a part of my life...go figure!) felt it well within his rights to point out women on television, in magazines, passing on the street, or in the grocery store and loudly say, "is that what you'll look like after your diet? how much fat will you have to lose to be built like her?" it's a double standard everywhere. i choose my fellas based mostly on things inside. most chubby smart chicks do. my current sweetie is 'scrawny' in most people's opinions, and refers to himself as 'a great big geek', but he's the most fabulous guy i know. go figure. you want to be valued for your own characteristics, not for appearance, weight, body type? find yourself a moderately plain chubby smart chick and see if she's not a brilliant, beautiful woman in disguise. the looking is worth the rewards.