Return of Webcomic Above!

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Postby Jackhass on Thu Jun 09, 2005 12:12 am

Okay, I'll get in on this (heh, if only to get my own comic reviewed)...

Blue Skunk

Artwork - Well, it's certainly very colourful. Although honestly it gets to be a bit on the gharish side at times, and sometimes makes the characters and backgrounds blend together in the panel making things hard to follow. Backgrounds are very sketchy in early comics, but become vastly improved when the comic switches into it's newer style in early 2005...then they actually become a bit worse again with the latest style change. The characters...well, there's some pretty serious problems with anatomy and perspective. Faces are solid, but they too have some problems and it's often hard to read their expressions. Also, as the style changes and evolves it often becomes tough to recognize the characters. Panel and word balloon lay-out is often confusing.

Writing - The real strength of the comic...the story is quite ambitious, entertaining, and draws you in. There's a good amount of action, mystery and intrigue. The characters are fairly well fleshed out and the writer has done a good job of creating a world for them to inhabit. Some of the characters are a bit cliched, but not terribly so.

Site - The site is pretty barebones stuff...half the links at the side of the page don't lead to anything. Your comic has been up for over a year...you really should have an archive by now.

Overall - A good solid entertaining story, that's brought down somewhat by flawed art. The art isn't all bad though...it's certainly ambitious and it is improving...but some major problems remain. I wouldn't call this a must read at the moment...but if the artist sticks to it and improves their craft (some anatomy classes/books are recommended) I could see this comic coming into it's own in time. Promising, but not quite there yet.
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Postby Ryuko on Thu Jun 09, 2005 12:36 am

(Placeholder for Zoology, probably up by tomorrow evening...)

First Impression: Zoology is a cute, goofy little comic, in the vein of newspaper comics, but a lot more funny and a little more risque.

Art: The art is pretty smooth, with some nice, clean lines, and very slick grayscale color with little shading. The strength of the art is in the reamarkable professional quality of the inking. I have a feeling that the comics could be posted without any grayscale at all and still be readable.

Writing: It's in a comic strip format, so there's not an overarching continuous plot, though there are short plotlines, such as the one that's going on right now. The characters are likeable enough and there's a good number of them so the possibility for humor looks like it's pretty good for the near future. The mistaken identities thing does get a bit old after a while, but I'm amused by the Gorilla dating line.

Website: It's a little sparse and badly organized. However, the color scheme and design are quite good.

Bottom Line: Something to watch out for. Despite the problems it has had with its name... Zoology looks to be quite good.
Last edited by Ryuko on Thu Jun 09, 2005 9:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Radewagon on Thu Jun 09, 2005 1:38 am

bumpity bump bump placeholder! Why? Because I am intrigued by anyone who's strip banner has the word "awesomer."

GREEN AVENGER:
A long time ago there was D.C. and D.C. was king. They had superman. Superman was the perfect superhero. Then there was Marvel. Marvel had spiderman. He was not quite perfect. Then there was Vertigo (D.C. again). Vertigo had the watchmen. They were anything but perfect. These three are, to me, the different stages of the modern superhero. Surface level to slight existentialism to complete and total deconstruction. Green Avenger fits into the second; slight existentialism. It is the story of a female superhero who has to deal with the every day nonsense of real life.

ART: The pages are laid out in a traditional comic book fashion. This suits the subject matter quite well, as it is mostly a comic book that happens to be on the web. The style is heavily, i assume, influenced by both manga and american comic book art. It is a fusion that works quite well. The characters all have a very nice and distinct look to them. My only issues with the art are times when I see a particular panel and think to myself, "the art is better than this, so why isn't the panel as pretty as it could be?" There has been obvious improvement in the quality of work; especially in the coloring. The colored strips are a joy to read. Of special note, the dialogue balloons are incredibly easy to follow. Being a fan of Bendis' work (powers, goldfish, jinx, torso... all of them hard to follow at times), I am always very happy to see panel progression that doesn't confuse the hell out of me.
GRADE: A-

STORY/WRITING: Here is where my initial comment about the progression of the superhero comes into play. For some reason, every time things got just a little introspective, I kept wondering when things might possibly get as serious or dark as they could. After reading through all of it, I don't think it's the intent of the writer to really go down the darker path. Which, is okay by me. I am, after all, a huge spiderman fan. The comic is fun to read and is getting better from page to page. As for the humor. I'm not really sure if this is supposed to be a funny comic. There are certain pages that seem to work towards a punchline and others that are happy to avoid humor alltogether. Anyway. the comic is fresh and likable.
GRADE: B+

SITE: It's green. Y'know, for the GREEN AVENGER! It's minimalistic and it does what it's supposed to do. The cast page, sadly, is not up yet. And the art page has a link to a deviation gallery (yippee).
GRADE: B+

OVERALL: I like it. I'm more curious to see where it goes, though, than where it's been. I'm happy with the set-up; eargerly awaiting what will come next.
GRADE: B+
Last edited by Radewagon on Thu Jun 09, 2005 3:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Keffria on Thu Jun 09, 2005 2:35 am

Alright, here's my review for "My So-Called Knife"

Story

Being the sort of person who prefers story-oriented comics over gag-based ones, I'll admit I'm not the greatest person to judge this comic. There is no overarching plot, though there are a few very-mini-arcs that span a couple of pages, and a lot of ongoing jokes. I would assume that the one involving the knife and the stabbiness is where the comic gets its name.

The humour is very good. I didn't make an ass of myself by laughing really loudly at anything, but several of them made me chuckle. Random thoughts:

http://radewagon.keenspace.com/d/20040826.html
This was funny because I actually have video footage of me dancing with a lamp after being ordered to do so by the camera-holder. I fear I shall be haunted by this footage forever.

http://radewagon.keenspace.com/d/20050118.html
Damn those iPod commercials. I had the song from the newest one stuck in my head for two days after the first time I saw it.

http://radewagon.keenspace.com/d/20041228.html
I rather like this page, but ... ah, why, exactly, did Jen leave? I mean, sure, her boyfriend is a sarcastic jackass, but it was so sudden...

I do have a couple of qualms with the writing though: (1) It's a little too random for my liking. The comic doesn't really have a theme; browsing through the archives, I felt like everything I read was a prologue, a series of one-shots before the real comic began. (2) Are these avatar characters? Thankfully, there are no inside jokes that I could find, but the comic still has that "the crazy adventures of me and my crazy friends" feeling. (3) More subjective - some of the sex-related jokes are just... Blargh. Like this one.

Oh, and I'm glad that the fourth-wall-breaching ended early on. *shudders*

Only one typo that I managed to catch, right here - it should be "altar". (Sorry, I'm a spelling-and-grammar geek.)

Art

Though the art is fairly simple, I can still see improvement between the first strips and the most recent ones. I love black-and-white comics, which automatically nets you points, and I also love the use of bold, thick lines.

I was going to suggest that you put more effort into adding backgrounds to your work, but on second thought, the comic is less about the atmosphere and more about the random humour, so I think you can ignore that suggestion.

In the earlier comics in particular, the characters don't do much with their hands; they just stand there and talk back and forth, which gets rather boring after a while. I'm glad to see that in the newer strips, characters are more expressive.

Again, not so problematic now, but sometimes, the characters look kind of slanted - for example, the game show host or Jen in the first panel.

Random thought: I liked the one-time use of cross-hatching . Very dramatic, in a vaguely offensive way. ;)

Site

Did you just redo your site design? Or was I not paying attention when I first clicked on your banner at 6:30 this morning?

Anyway, the main page looks good, and I like the random panels above and below the comics in the archive pages - however, because they're in the exact same style as the comic, I found them rather distracting at times. Although I knew that they weren't part of the comic, I found myself starting to read them along with the actual page at times.

One thing: Some "next_day", "previous_day", etc. buttons would be nice, rather than the text links. Other than that, it looks good, and I like all the extras.

Overall...

I hate letter grades, but I kind of like "My So-Called Knife". It's not the sort of comic I'd read regularly, but I've added it to my bookmarks, and I'll wander by once in a while to catch up on it.
Last edited by Keffria on Thu Jun 09, 2005 12:42 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Jops on Thu Jun 09, 2005 9:30 am

Thanks for the review Phalanx!
I already had Amis going error-hunting and fixed what she told me to fix... It should be smoother to read now.
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Postby Ida on Thu Jun 09, 2005 10:13 am

Okay, somebody else is doing this too, but I've been meaning to read this comic for a while, so...

Sorry for taking so long with this; reading throught the archives took a while. Here we go:

Art: This is definately the comic's strongest point, and a very strong one at that. The art starts out pretty, but stiff; the rendering of the characters is always great, but in the first two scenes or so, the action seems oddly awkward, but that is a problem that is solved over the course of the archives. In the more recent comics, the artwork is simply beautiful and very dynamic in the action sequences. I'd like to specifically point out your shading, which is simply amazing and your use of backgrounds. In many comics of this type (manga-inspired fantasy setting) that I've seen, the artist rarely puts in any sorts of background more detailed than an array of sweatdrops. Not so in 'Feyenne', where, while backgrounds are not present in every panel or even every strip, those that ARE there are wonderfully detailed and well drawn. Bonus points for that! :D

Story: 'Feyenne''s story is definately interesting, if you look ignore the comprehensability problems (see next paragraph). Sure, a lot of it might be traditional fantasy fare, but from what I understood of it, the plots seemed very fresh and and new to me, a rather inexperienced fanatasy reader. I say plots, because as it is, 'Feyenne' seems to consist of a lot of small plot threads weaved together rather than having one overarching story, and while they are a bit hard to keep track of, most of these plot threads are great. Liam's story and the legend about the royal sacrifices in particular had a huge impact on me, and I'm sure some of the other stories will turn out this way too, once I figure out what is going on in them.

Comprehensibility: That was probably spelled wrong, since I'm tired as heck right now. :wink: Anyway, this gets it's own paragraph because it is the single most glaring problem I had with 'Feyenne': As good as the story might be and as enviable the art is, a lot of the time I quite simply didn't understand what was going on in the story at all. On the less serious sides, there are some instances where panel layouts or internal monologues without any clear notice of who's speaking make it hard to figure out what is going on. (here is an example; I had to re-read this page several times to figure out the sequence the panels should be read in). These are technical problems and will probably sort themselves out with time - I did find the newer pages techically slightly more understandable. In other instances, the pages are structured so that you simply have no clue what is going on (this page made absolutely no sense to me whatsoever) and have to rely on understanding the situation from the dialogue in the next couple of pages.
Couriously enough, the sequences that were the easiest to understand were the ones that were simply text accompanied by text - after reading 'Feyenne' for a while, I started to look forward to those sequences, as I knew that they would sort things out that didn't make sense in the comic. You say somewhere on the page that you're more of a writer than an artist, and for once, that is actually correct. Or rather; you have great skills with both words and art. Your problem seem to be combining the two and tell stories with sequential pictures: comics.

Please keep in mind that I am not criticizing your story or concept - in fact, I really like your story - but the way the story is presented makes it really hard to understand and enjoy, which I find is a deep shame.

Characters: They have outrageous hair! :D No, actually, the characters of 'Feyenne' are rather likeable. Keffria, Galad and particularly Liam are all nicely designed and developed without ever becoming outright stereotypes. I'd like to see a little more fleshing out on Keffria, since she seems a little less defined than the other two, but that might just be me. One problem I had with teh character department, though, is that like with the comprehensability problems, the reader (me) has a hard time keeping track of who, what and even where characters are. Especially the two demons made me go 'WTF' when they suddenly appeared without any introduction or information on who they were only to stay along for one page and then disappear for what, half a year? I realize that you might have done this to give them an air of mysteriousity, but just a snippet of information, either on what they were or how they were connected with anything would've been nice. In fact, it took me several minutes to realize that they weren't the elves from chapter one. In a similiar vein, the story with Tristan (is that his name?) and Galad and Keffria's childhood didn't make any sense either. Again, I know it's supposed to be mysterious, but I was mainly wondering who these characters were (I though the sister was Tristans mother for the good part of a page, and I'm still confused about Galad and Keffria's relation to that family. So, Tristan is Galad's brother? And Keffria grew up with them? Right?) you also have some minor problems with characters looking alike (I still can't quite tell the demons and elves apart), but that's nothing serious - most character are very distinct and nicely designed.

Site: Nice, simple page with plenty of features. I like how the layout is and background colors are kept simple so they don't distract from the comic (which could be a problem with a greyscale comic on a colorful background). As has already been said, though, the header image is very big and slightly distracting; not only does it load first and fill up most of the screen (and I'm viewing the page at 1024x768, I don't even dare think of how big the image would look in 800x600), it is also in color, which at least for me screams "look at me, I'm important" when compared to the greyscale pages - the image distracts from the comic a bit. This could easily be solved by resizing it a bit though.

Overall: 'Feyenne' has great art and a lot of potential, but confusing storytelling and panel layouts sadly make it hard for me to fully enjoy what looks like a really good story.

(Like with TGA, I hope you're not offended by this review or that it's too harsh. I actually really, really liked 'Feyenne' - that's why the comprehensability thing bothers me so much. :wink: )
Last edited by Ida on Fri Jun 10, 2005 3:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Netpoet on Thu Jun 09, 2005 10:39 am

I'll do yours, Ida, since I just found it today. :) {goes to read}

Review for Mecagical Girl Lisa A.N.T.

Story

Though it's still a bit early into the story, it's definitely interesting. Hard to imagine bugs working at galactic war and bringing the fight to Earth, but that's the point of imagination, ne? :p Definitely like how you've worked in the A.N.T. unit (always fun to have the main character, somewhat of a ditz, be Teh SAVIOR by sheer random dumb luck...) though you never did explain how she got her room back to looking normal again.

Art

Reminds me a lot of PowerPuff Girls, minus the MASSIVE eyes those freakish girls have. Good use of color and detail without flooding the place, though a few pics like this hurt my eyes.

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I know you're just going from the same theme there, but owie... too.. much.. gah! :p

Definitely like the artwork for the most part.

Site

Very easy and simple to use/understand design. I like the top picture, with the A.N.T unit running from a few things (including a MASSIVE thing, what the HECK IS THAT?!?) myself. :p

Overall

You've got a new reader. :)

>Matt
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Postby Cayen on Thu Jun 09, 2005 10:40 am

how do I get in on this?
As Nill continues to learn about the world around her, secrets of the past come bubbling through.
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Sheesh.

Postby The Neko on Thu Jun 09, 2005 10:47 am

Read the first post.
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Postby Cayen on Thu Jun 09, 2005 11:14 am

ah I see...Place holder for the Traveling Gnome (if no one has claimed it)

Edit: Link in Sig fixed. Thanks^^ didn't realise it was messed up.

Tales of the Travelling Gnome
Artwork: WOW. This is some of the most impressive art I've seen in awhile. There's alot of care and attention given to the comic itself. Some poses do seem a bit stiff, but overall does not detract from the comic.

Writing: Right now there's only 8 pages in the story. It's pretty interesting, it really brings you into this world. I just wish there was more pages.
Site: Very colorful and easy to navigate, getting to any point in the story is well though out and intuitive.

Overall: GREAT COMIC! This is one I'm adding to my bookmarks right now. I can't wait to see more from this series A+.
Last edited by Cayen on Thu Jun 09, 2005 11:36 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Spriteville, USA on Thu Jun 09, 2005 11:19 am

Guess I'll shoot for Cayen.

Artwork: It's hard to guage this other than pretty good. It's definitly decent however in the course of about 50? comics you have gone through 3-4 different art styles so it's hard to guage improvement. I was enjoying the color ones then you went to black and white (I presume as a time issue?) They are still good however. The nudity is gratuitous I feel. The nudity often has no reason, like one spot, "I need to remove her armour so that I can strike her" I know he might have had too, maybe even really really needed to, but it seemed like an excuse to show her breats for the 5th time. There was one odd spot where you had an MS-Paint building in one panel, when the rest of them we're hand drawn, this was odd and stood out. Oh and for your sex scene there, that penis is way too huge. =]

Writing: Unfortunately this is where the comic is it's weakest. There is a lot of plot being flung around and it certainly appears as if you have put a lot of thought into the story. A lot of it is lost to the writing though. I know all the pieces of this story aren;t supposed to be apparent, but it seems like complete insanity right now. Nothing seems to fit together or is intuitive. You talk and talk about Dome 4, some technology company, DNA clones of some evil monster now dictator, bounty hunters maybe?, a still born twin turned fairy like creature maybe, the list goes on. Frankly I have no idea what is going on right now and the pace has been far to fast and frantic. The story jumps and jumps and jumps. Also oe small problem is that I can't tell all your characters apart so I don;t know when the scene changes sometimes. Overall I'm lost. It can be saved but you'll need to rethink how information is being put across to the reader.

One important thing here is Spelling. I might be wrong but it looks like you misspell the main characters name repeatedly. Is it Nill or Null? Or are they different people. I also saw the word Magistrates spelled 3 different ways in the same strip.

Site: Site's pretty good. Easy to navigate. One thing is you have a store and you're selling desktops pictures for 2 dollars apiece, and your going to sell later ones ofr 5 dollars? Being practical here, no one is going to pay money for a desktop picture, ever. I'd just give them out as freebies, be kind to your readers. Also invest in an archieve. The Keenspace system has tags to create them automatically so having one should be a non issue. Oh and one last thing I saw, your credits stuff " All images
Last edited by Spriteville, USA on Thu Jun 09, 2005 3:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby MrEff on Thu Jun 09, 2005 11:25 am

{EDIT} Gone cos I didn't know th rulz


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Postby RemusShepherd on Thu Jun 09, 2005 11:38 am

Spriteville, USA wrote:P.S. Woah, I go to check out your site Cayen, two things. 1. You link in your sig is messed up. 2. I didn't expect hardcore sexing. Not good for work =]


I noticed the same two things. Hope I closed the browser window before my officemate peeked over. :)

So, then -- review of Spriteville, USA:

I am a fan of well-done sprite comics, especially the most famous 8-bit Theater, and because of this I have checked out Spriteville before and enjoyed it. The inconsistent updates kept me from returning -- there are only 13 strips since september of last year, which isn't much of an archive yet.

It also doesn't help that the first three strips are gag comics of the 'random humor' variety, and the dramatic (and non-humorous) storyline doesn't begin until strip four. Either the artist began the strip by experimenting, to test his capabilities before heading into the story he wanted to tell, or he whiplashed into the fastest Cerebus syndrom I've ever seen. Either way, the three gag comics can be ignored. I'm not a fan of random humor, there is nothing special or distinctive about any of them, and aside from returning main character they have no link to the storyline that follows.

The storyline is interesting. It involves an alien shirt which has come to earth in a meteorite and possessed a man in a small town. Again, there are only 10 strips in the storyline, most of them in a three-panel horizontal format, but the plot is still progressing at a good pace. It's not very complex -- about as deep as a typical action movie -- but so far it works.
Only a few characters stand out with unique personalities so far

The graphics are pretty good for a sprite comic. All the sprites are new and custom-made by the artist. He does some special effects very well -- tentacles, growing organs, and in one strip action is shown as a neat pixellated shadow-play. Some special effects are not so good, such as the meteor crash and fire effects. The characters all have the same body shape with mostly minor alterations. They're visually distinct and their expressions are done well, but they don't really stand out much. As the story progresses the characters seem to be diverging more, although I'm not sure whether adding tentacles is cheating. ;)

Best strip is here. Double-sized, with action and some neat special effects.

I'm jealous of the website layout. :) A pixellated image map serves as navigation, the forward/back buttons are interesting (especially the grayed-out versions), and best of all beneath every strip is a window showing the cast members present for that day. I'd kind of like to know how that's done.

Summary: James was wise to move away from the gag strip format, as his dramatic storyline is more appealing than his jokes. This could be an exciting comic if it updated regularly. With the current update non-schedule, it's a slide show of very good sprite artwork and a brief story that's mostly cliche but fun.
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Postby K-Dawg on Thu Jun 09, 2005 11:53 am

Just want to say the review for Remus is done now.
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Postby Radewagon on Thu Jun 09, 2005 3:28 pm

place holder... cause i'm bored out of my mind.

for angry monkey... i think. yeah. angry monkey! (hmmm. methinks webcomic above should not be so confusing... but then, there is no better solution.)

EDIT: apperantly i'm reviewing remus now.

after much confusion, the review for INDEFENSIBLE POSITIONS:

sorry for the delay. After finding out that I wasn't reviewing angry monkey, I got a little sore. I had my wonderful review almost done. And then Pow. Guess what? New Comic. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. And in this case. I'm still not sure. Indefensible Positions is one of those comics that I think will be much easier to judge later in its career, but then I'll get to that later in the review.

ART: The art is not what I would call amazing. But then it isn't horrible either. The only issue that I have with it is that it seems as though the subject matter calls for a more detailed approach. There are obvious issues with perspective, anatomy, and so on and so forth. In other words, the same problem that most artists have. That said, I am a fan of the black and white (grayscale, actually) mixed in with small amounts of color (i.e. the demon dog has flaming eyes that are always in color). I would nitpick, but like most comics, it has shown improvement, and i beleive that it will continue along such a path.
GRADE: C+/B-

WRITING: Here's where things get tricky. Here's where I wish I had more to work with before I reviewed. The comic struck me, immediately, as something that could either be incredibly clever and border line brilliant, or just completely absurd for the sake of absurdity. If it is the latter, well, I would not give the comic a second glance. If it is the former, I would definately recommend giving it a serious look. There are few comics that seem to want to introduce concepts like physical manifestations of chaos and order that are embodied in the personas of general lee and ulysses s. grant. The idea itself seems like it could work if it actually ends up going somewhere. Is there a deeper allegorical reason for their being two civil war generals that goes beyond the surface observation? I don't really know. If there is, this comic might have something. If there is not, then it will be quite amusing, yet ultimately dissappointing. I want to think that this comic is pulling its punches, but I am very afraid that it might end up being nothing but inflated dialogue that says very little and only sounds smart instead of being smart. In any case, I like what I have read. My interest is piqued. For now, I'm going to assume that the writer knows what he's doing.
GRADE: B+/A-

OVERALL: Overall, like I said. It's too early to tell. But if you want to go and read the first fifteen minutes of what could be a breath of fresh air, then I would recommend taking a gander at this one. One note, though. It may seem overly pretentious at times. I personally like pretention. As long is it's warranted. I leave it to the author to make good on the wild claims of his set up.
GRADE: As of yet, Undecided

Well, that's all. Again, sorry for the delay. Feel free to contact me with questions. Or you can post in that "other" thread about how much my review sucked and or didn't suck.

peace
Last edited by Radewagon on Sun Jun 12, 2005 1:51 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Postby MrEff on Thu Jun 09, 2005 3:42 pm

My review for: My So Called Knife



Artwork: This is pretty good.... very unique character design... and tons of good contrasty parts!~ And you know me I'm a fan of heavy black lines.... This works very well as a black and white comic, I think it gives the humor more of an edge....

Writing: Dark..... very twisted too... Nice jokes tied in with sight gags, very well done and I can't wait to see more

Site:Not too shabby... the 4 various panels around the archive strips were a bit confusing at first.... it seemed like there were there for site navigation, but alas it was not true......

Overall: I give My So Called Knife a B+ Very funny and dark material.... it kept me thanking God/Jesus/Satan/Budda/etc, for having high speed broadband...... I can't wait to see it develop further... this is something that would actually look good in book form... the only thing I can think of is the lettering... at times it can be a jumble .... but you know what they say... practice makes perfect

Again... I plan on bookmarking (done already) and linking this comic



-MrEff-

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Postby RemusShepherd on Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:22 pm

K-Dawg wrote:Just want to say the review for Remus is done now.


Hmmn. Saying nothing more than my comic is confusing and wordy...yeah, that's cool, it's an honest assessment.

Saying nothing at all about the art, when that's the part I want feedback on the most...well, that's okay, if not very helpful.

Posting immediately below me a second time, so the next person chooses to review you and not me...well, that kind of sucks. Not really your fault, I guess, but I've been robbed.

I predicted that I'd regret entering this thread. You know what, I don't want any reviews here. I've said many times that the site isn't ready for readers, and it won't be until I've finished the story's introduction and primped up the HTML. Forget I posted on this thread, I want nothing to do with it now.

Spriteville, I'll still get to your review soon.
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Postby Levi-chan on Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:33 pm

I'm gonna own Ded End!

EDIT: I got Pwned.

Now, Ded End...it's just badass. I dunno, there's something about it that makes you think of Samuel Jackson and Robert De Niro, and shotgun shells and Hunter S Thompson. I dunno why.

Art: While it's simple, it's very, very expressive. I didn't know a few lines could make up for mucho emotional impact - but Ded does it, and does it good.

Yes, the art isn't detailed. Yes, it's fairly simplistic. Yes, the panels don't have much in them. But I think it actually does Ded End the world of good, that it can convey so much with so little.

Writing: While the first few strips are filled with fourth-wall-breaking and self-deprecation, it quickly gets into it's groove and gets the Funny. Some of the strips are pretty stale humor-wise, but most of them made me smile.

I really give any sort of advice that could make it better, since well...it's just badass.

B+
Last edited by Levi-chan on Thu Jun 09, 2005 8:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby The Neko on Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:36 pm

Art:
The coloring and backgrounds are really well done, however figures need a little work. For example in this comic, the hand grabbing the doorknob is off, and the guy's head is extremely small in comparison to the girl's even though his is closer to the viewpoint and should be larger. The shading is very good, and the style is nice. Even better, I can't specifically trace the exact origin of the style. (However, if I was to make a guess: Yoshitoshi ABe.)

Story:
It's still early on in the story, but it's interesting how you've presented it more as a graphic novel. Be wary of using too many similies and metaphors. Most people don't think or speak so artistically. It's always a good thing to mix artistic styles and realistic styles so the audience doesn't get overloaded with either. Fancy language loses impact when the work is saturated with it.
It's also so early that I don't know the names of the characters other than the guy's ex-girlfriend. Looking back, though, I find that his name is Mike... however, I wasn't really able to remember it very well since there hasn't been any real introduction to them. (Nor is there a cast page.)

Site:
Characters and About are pages that don't exist. (Usually it's best to at least put a "coming soon" rather than "NOTHING" because it looks worse when the site appears broken.) The design is simple and clean, and there's nothing that really makes a negative impact other than the fact that the news entries are kinda old and should be backlogged.

Overall:
Not a bad start, but it is just a start. Perhaps if there was more strips up, I could tell you more. But so far: a good, solid B
Last edited by The Neko on Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby K-Dawg on Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:49 pm

RemusShepherd wrote:
K-Dawg wrote:Just want to say the review for Remus is done now.


Hmmn. Saying nothing more than my comic is confusing and wordy...yeah, that's cool, it's an honest assessment.

Saying nothing at all about the art, when that's the part I want feedback on the most...well, that's okay, if not very helpful.

Posting immediately below me a second time, so the next person chooses to review you and not me...well, that kind of sucks. Not really your fault, I guess, but I've been robbed.

I predicted that I'd regret entering this thread. You know what, I don't want any reviews here. I've said many times that the site isn't ready for readers, and it won't be until I've finished the story's introduction and primped up the HTML. Forget I posted on this thread, I want nothing to do with it now.

Spriteville, I'll still get to your review soon.


NEXT PERSON REVIEWS GO FOR IT!

If you didn't want to be reviewed then you shouldn't have posted in this thread, or you should have told everyone to review another comic then. Don't get mad about one review that isn't in the way you want. You say I gave an honest assessment then you go off complaining that your comic isn't ready to be reviewed yet? Something doesn't seem right there.

But whatever here's the art critique if that's what you only wanted:

You have a lot of unique character designs, and a lot of pretty dull ones. One problem I see with the drawings is that the characters seem very stiff a lot in the comics. You may need to work on the poses a bit more to get over this.
Another problem I see is some of the characters seem to be drawn and coloured differently then others. For instance Foil's colours and outlines are a lot brighter then everyone else's.

Oh and Radewagon, go review Remus' comic since he thinks I robbed him of another review.
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