A Series of Saucy Limericks

Mad Irishman · Post by **Mad Irishman** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 11:14 pm

And into church the went together
Freddy glittering white sequens and heather
The priest said 'Will you wed?"
And Chick boy thought and said:
"Yes!
But I wish I wasn't dressed like Priscilla!"

CJBurgandy · Post by **CJBurgandy** » Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:08 am

LOL... Honor if we were both single I'd marry you. Brilliant

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Mon Jun 07, 2004 3:37 pm

isnt that behaviour illegial in tasmania Irish?

The chick boy's incredibly sad
with girlfriend he did a boy bad
He cried what the chick?
i sucked on her dick!
and it made me all tingly and hard?

Mad Irishman · Post by **Mad Irishman** » Tue Jun 08, 2004 3:46 am

RantinAn wrote:isnt that behaviour illegial in tasmania Irish?

Good thing I don't live in Tasmania. It would be too cold for me down there anyway!

Anyway...
In relation to the pope thing...
______________

There once was a priest of Gibraltar
Who wrote dirty jokes in his psalter.
An inhibited nun
Who had read every one
Made a vow to be laid on his altar.

also:

There was a young lady of Chichester
Who made all the saints in their niches stir.
One morning at matins
Her breasts in white satins
She even made the Bishops britches stir.

There was a young man of St Johns
Who wanted to bugger the Swans.
But the loyal hall-porter
Said, 'Pray take my daughter!
Them birds are reserved for the dons.'

Mad Irishman · Post by **Mad Irishman** » Wed Jun 09, 2004 11:25 pm

There once was a maid in Duluth,
A striver and Seek of truth
This pretty wench
Was adept at french
But all else she said was uncouth!

The late Brigham young was no neuter
Fo fairy no faggot no fruiter.
Where ten thousand virgins
succumbed to his urgeons
There now stands the great state of Utah!

Mad Irishman · Post by **Mad Irishman** » Mon Jun 14, 2004 10:51 pm

There was a man from Racine
Invented a fucking machine.
Concave or convex,
it could fit either sex,
with attachments for those in between!!!!

Said a printer pretending to wit:
'There are certain bad words we ommit.
It would sully our art
to print the word f*
and we never, oh never, sat sh*!

Mad Irishman · Post by **Mad Irishman** » Fri Jun 18, 2004 5:43 am

I've just been reading back over past posts. Not only are some missing, but some I knew I'd posted, or had been posted by other people are now under different names.

Ie: some that are now said to be posted by Inky were originally posted by Cow_2000 (Unless he's managed to have a name change) and at least one or two I thought I'd posted. I recon Keenspace was completely screwed over during that last crash!

Anywho, here's another one, in favour of Freddy!

For a scupture that;s really first class
You need form, composition and mass.
To do a good Venus
Just ignore the Penis,
And concentrate on the tits and the ass.

Honor · Post by **Honor** » Fri Jun 18, 2004 2:15 pm

cjburgandy wrote:woohoo! all night gaming party at Misca's house.
the nice thing is that everyone is a winner.....

It's a new craze among the lez
best thing since the vibe pez
place it on your crotch
let it buzz your notch
3 cheers for the new game "Rez"

Ya know... I had to go buy a japanese slang dictionery to discover that "Rez" (short for Rezubian) is the preffered term for Lesbian... Is that why the game is thus named?

CJBurgandy · Post by **CJBurgandy** » Fri Jun 18, 2004 2:28 pm

good question... if Japan made a video game designed to get women off (Ok, maybe that's not exsactly how it was designed, but I know there has to have been japanese girls who thought of it too), maybe naming it Rez was not so accidental....

Goddessmisca · Post by **Goddessmisca** » Fri Jun 18, 2004 8:25 pm

All I have to say is this.

it the only thing that has EVER been able to get me off with pure vibrations.

Mad Irishman · Post by **Mad Irishman** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 12:57 am

"Your givin me good vibrations
It's the game of excitations"

The Rez-ibrator
Coolest (and most expensive) sex toy on the market.
Leave it to the Japs to corner the best part of a niche market!

Honor · Post by **Honor** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 11:20 am

Most expensive...? Oh, <i>no</i>, baby. How about six to eight grand, US$?

http://www.realdoll.com/

I want several of these, when I get rich. I'm gonna put 'em in bondage fetish outfits and make tables and lamps out of 'em.

*wicked grin*

-Edit: EWWWWW! I knew they had come out with boy dolls, but now they've got this <i>creeepy</i> looking "anime" doll....

*Hrm...*

I wonder.... Maybe... You could use the detachable penis from the male doll with a buxom female doll to make.... RealFreddy!!!!

CJBurgandy · Post by **CJBurgandy** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 12:06 pm

that would make some awsome furniture.

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 8:32 pm

seen a clockwork orange?
Moloko plus anyone?

Goddessmisca · Post by **Goddessmisca** » Sun Jun 20, 2004 8:20 pm

book is better

Mad Irishman · Post by **Mad Irishman** » Mon Jun 21, 2004 5:11 am

I saw an interesting Clockwork Orange recently. It was about 2-3 inches accross and you wound it up with a little key. That would start it vibrateing and then you were supposed to just pop it in there and enjoy.

The Orange-like texture on it was emphasised so that it would move around like those big vibrating balls that jiggle-walk around the floor.

Goddessmisca · Post by **Goddessmisca** » Mon Jun 21, 2004 3:21 pm

Not THAT sounds fun

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Mon Jun 21, 2004 3:54 pm

that would haev me a singing in the rain

Honor · Post by **Honor** » Sat Jun 26, 2004 3:31 am

The limerick thread started to drop...
I thought "No... This is too good to stop!"
so I clicked the "reply",
typed one out on the fly,
and then booted it back to the top!

Ri-chan · Post by **Ri-chan** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 10:29 am

cow_2001 wrote:
HeadlessCow wrote: Asimov wrote such things?!
In the name of the mutant robot! I would have never suspect..

Hell yeah he did!

*is a long-time Asimov fan*

Oops, this comes a little late. I didn't realize this thread was so long. Now I'll have to write one...