None of the above. Never updating the comic would suck, but I'm hardly one to criticise (how long's Dave been on hiatus? Let's see...a good seven months, at least). The thought of the little yelping sound made by a kicked puppy makes me laugh, even if the act itself makes me cross. Wearing condoms on both ears would, at the very least, provide some flimsy shelter from the elements. Wearing a big sign could probably be bluffed as post-modern cool.
"Now I will smash beer bottles on your head! Your HEAD!!"