It's almost been a year O_o (Criticism Topic)

Aelyn · Post by **Aelyn** » Mon Dec 30, 2002 11:12 am

Arcana's anniversary is February 5th. n.n I'm pretty satisfied with how it's gone so far -- looking back on the first few pages anyway. Forcing yourself to draw something coherent three times a week actually works.

Anyway, on to the point of this post. It's almost a new year, and I'm in the mood to work. (This would be the reason why I want to get everything updated and mail taken care of -- sort of to start over with a clean slate.) People saying they like the comic is nice; it's good to know it's being enjoyed. As much as I appreciate it though, it doesn't help much as far as problems with the comic go. There are lots and lots of things I still have to improve on, and it makes me feel kind of panicky when I realize this. I'm afraid of falling behind and not improving on anything, so I thought it would be good to make this topic.

I'd like for everyone who wants to, to say what they notice is wrong with the comic. It's more difficult for me to notice things because I'm immersed in it all the time -- mistakes are almost always more noticable to objective people. ^^; For example, I'm usually always thinking about the pacing of the story -- I have to pace it for both the people who are reading start to finish, and the people who have to wait two or three days between pages, *and* make the page interesting on it's own, and I'm never sure how that's going because people never say anything. Stuff like that. I'm afraid that maybe it's going badly and no one wants to point it out or something. n.n;;

Feel free to just point out flaws at random, but explanations and suggestions for improvement would be better. I'm doing my part too... I'm studying tutorials and figure drawing books and the like, but that'll take some time. When you're aware that there are problems in there somewhere and ask people to point them out so you can fix them to make the thing better, it works wonders. I never really noticed it before, even after spending a couple of years in art forums, but when I had to ask for help on the piano picture, it really hit home how useful criticism is. Even careless criticism has a bit of content. ^^;

So yeah. Help on this would be <i>greatly appreciated</i>. Please, tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can start doing it right.

Caj_trixie · Post by **Caj_trixie** » Mon Dec 30, 2002 5:40 pm

Okay, first off, criticism can be awesome and there are many who'd be affraid to comment unless asked, so I think it's awesome that you are asking and giving people honest room to express their oppinions.^_^

next, right now I really wish I had something to critique on.^_^; lol As far as the time spacing goes, you explain it everyonce in a while throughout every chapter, so it's not hard to tell the time that's gone by.^_^ As for the comic for the day, they're always exciting and unique.^_^

The only thing(s) that I can think of for the moment is that it confused me as to the time of this whole thing when Holden was first going to Dom's, but I should've just looked at the depressed clock.^_~ *laughs* But in the new cast pages, for some reason it really confused me how, in Holden's, you talk about the Vincent thing happening the summer before school starts and then that it happened 4 years ago. Because the comic started on the first day of school (for this year) that really confused me. It hadn't even occured to me that this wasn't his first year in college...or do I have that wrong?^_^;

As for the cast pages, you actually explained a lot of things that you hadn't quite mentioned before.^_^ Example? like, I thought Vincent had merged with Adonis in his mind, not that he was locked away within it (though it makes more sense him just being locked away). Just little things like that, little questions you've answered without even realizing it. that's cool.^_^

The truth is, there isn't much to critique on because we can't see it through your eyes. I don't know about anyone else, but showing my friends the new Arcana of the day (plus a new sketch/piccie/fanart/fanfic) is really the only thng that makes it worth going to school. *laughs* It'd be pretty boring otherwise.^_^ You give me a reason to be online and something to occupy my mind when I have nothing else to do.^_^

Sorry to sound like a TOTAL fangirl, but I've read through Arcana maybe, oh, I'd say fully 10-20 times and then little parts randomly and I've only been reading since Holden passed out on the floor of Dom's bathroom.^_~;;; You have created a great and wonderful thing here Kelly, and even people who don't have the internet love you for it.^_^

...oh yeah, topic.^_^; *laughs* sorry, got off on a little praising rant.^_^; Anyway, yeah, so you're doing awesome and if I see anything, I'll be sure to mention it.^_^ *blushes and goes to work on break project(...#1~_~;) some more*

ZOMBIE USER 12262 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 12262** » Mon Dec 30, 2002 8:16 pm

Cristism at times can be hard to give and take. I don't really have much critism, you have done wonderfully over the past year. Dishing out three comic pages in a week is quite admirable. There are times though when things are pretty confusing. I didn't know somethings until you clarified them, especially when I asked you about the part when Holden was in the mental hospital with Az there and so on. At times it is confusing, like the time, I didn't realize it was the beginning of the school year till I read it over for the tenth time. Somethings were a bit confusing, but that's the way that we all love Arcana for! ^_^

So my general critique for you is to make things a bit more clear, even though I think it's PERFECT the way that it is. I doubt this is a good critque, but it's a critique...hopefully one that makes sense ^_^; . Everthing you are doing is wonderful so far, i doubt that you need to change anything. The plot will keep the reader interested for a long time! I should know, I've read the whole thing over about 50 times ^_^;

We all love and are very thankful that you showed your story, characters, and interesting plot. you influenced bunches of ppl, with what you do. Everything that you do is always more than you need to do. WE LOVE YOU FOR THAT!!!!!

enough of my rants....and psychotic....uh......yeah.....^_^;;;;;;;

PK · Post by PK » Mon Dec 30, 2002 9:53 pm

The only mistake I've noticed is that Caine's shirt switched from a v-neck to a regular collar in today's page. ^_^;

I'd point out something more meaningful, but either there aren't mistakes, or they aren't noticeable.

In the confusing-Kisoka strip, Kisoka says that Adonis is locked away in his mind.. yet, according to the cast page, Vincent is also? This probably isn't a mistake, but I'm confused. ^_^;

Aelyn · Post by **Aelyn** » Tue Dec 31, 2002 7:59 am

Yes, I've definitely messed up the Vincent-Adonis thing. >>;;; I guess the bottom line would be that neither of them can get to the way they used to be right now. ...Clarity is good. n.n;;; Must work on that.

And I'm sorry I didn't make the school thing clear... this isn't Holden's first year he's starting at college, it's actually his third. (He was finishing high school when he met Vincent, and is 21 now. I should have just said he was 17 at the time. >_>;; )

I know criticism can be hard for some people to give for whatever reason, so don't worry about that. ^^; Even little things like what you guys have said already help a lot.

(On this train of thought, does anyone find the hand writing hard to read at times? I know I can make it rather small, and one person already brought this up once.)

Akuma Sephitaro · Post by **Akuma Sephitaro** » Tue Dec 31, 2002 7:59 am

Hm... Well, I think the comic is really well done... Great art, great story ect... (Ok, so maybe I don't pay enough attention to some things... I know there has to be something I'm missing

)

I can't think of anything to make Arcana better... Maybe fixing the bios page (I beleave you said you were...)

That's about it...

Mei · Post by **Mei** » Wed Jan 01, 2003 11:44 am

The only tip I'd really want to mention is that, although you are doing backgrounds now, Kelly, they're always that dull gray-beige colour. maybe some simple tone in the background would help things a bit?

Best wishes,

Mei

Aelyn · Post by **Aelyn** » Wed Jan 01, 2003 1:19 pm

Yes... I also despise those colors. >_>; But when it comes down to it, I can't figure out any background colors that wouldn't be...obtrusive. Or something. I'll have to try out some other ones. (There also seems to be a dullness to the colors in general, which I want to change too...)

Pandora · Post by **Pandora** » Thu Jan 02, 2003 1:14 pm

Personally I like the colors of the manga, nothing is too bright or obtrusive (unlike some which make you scream "GAH! MY EYES! WHERE DID ALL THIS COLOR COME FROM!") and they match the tone of the story. . . but that is just my opinion
No Criticism
I really love the manga! and I am very envious of your drawing skills. . .
OoO and I was wondering where you moved the tutorial on how to color hair. . . *can't find it* . . .maybe I'm not searching hard enough though ^^; That's about it ^_^[/u]

Aelyn · Post by **Aelyn** » Thu Jan 02, 2003 2:30 pm

*giggles and pokes Pandora's icon*

No, I forgot to add the tutorial page after I dropped the link that one day. ^^; I'll have to fix that tonight. But for now...<a href="http://arcana.keenspace.com/tutorialhair.htm">baaa</a>.

Pandora · Post by **Pandora** » Thu Jan 02, 2003 6:27 pm

Thank you thank you ^-^

ZOMBIE USER 12274 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 12274** » Thu Jan 02, 2003 8:26 pm

Stop being so negative in your posts (as in knocking your artistic talent, or apologizing about stuff...especially linkage)

Godfather (There's no such thing as subliminal buy coke messaging)

Aelyn · Post by **Aelyn** » Thu Jan 02, 2003 8:42 pm

... I'm sorry.

*runs away yelling "Buy Coke!"*

Bleh, you're right. I don't exactly want to be all Piro-like. >_> But I can't help it. Fuu. ... Happy thoughts. ^.^

Gundam · Post by **Gundam** » Tue Jan 07, 2003 9:17 am

i LOVE arcana *huggles lurvely arcana* my blog even has a fan art piece by my good friend courtz!!! i dun think you're really doing much of anything wrong, but what the heck i'll try to appease you w/ some criticism.

i think there's a lil too much ... pointing at stuff and saying what it is. i think in some cases it would be better to just show the action (like the ... stabbing... of adonis) then to explain it after the fact. it occassionally ruins the pacing, cuz i end up stopping and staring at it and wondering about it and then i've lost my place. *giggles* and like.... vincent & adonis in the tree... if the bg of them sitting there had been a lil more detailed i would have known just by looking at it that they were in a tree. i know much of the pointing and stuff is part of the charm, but some of it could be rendered superfulous w/ a lil more work. just a thought...

BUT hehe i think you're doing a great job overall. i've totally fallen in love w/ arcana after being pushed and pushed to read it by FOUR of my friends. and now i'm a total fanboy!!! i'm considering making arcana t-shirts, that's how much i love it. ^-^

Mira Fastfire · Post by **Mira Fastfire** » Tue Jan 07, 2003 9:35 am

I really like how you're not afraid to use the negative space. That's one thing I really can't stand about most American comics -- the CONSTANT backgrounds.

Artistically, my only complaint would be that occasionally you seem to make the necks a wee-bit too long.

I also really _liked_ the vagueness. It makes it confusing to try to explain to nubie, but the instead of blurting out the absolute truth, instead we get a _sense_ for it. The whole "Show, don't Tell" thing.

I agree that all the pointy comments get a little bothersome. In serious moments, it breaks the mood. In the not-so-serious moments, it's just adorable. So maybe it all depends on the feeling of the comic for that day.

LOVE the color! And your shocked faces (especially Holden on http://arcana.keenspace.com/d/20021206.html) -=^_^=- AND love the plot. But my favorite panel of ALL of Arcana is http://arcana.keenspace.com/d/20021006.html on that page, the shot with Vincent's face and Kisoka. *purrrrrrrrrrr*

mm...Kisoka....

Aelyn · Post by **Aelyn** » Tue Jan 07, 2003 9:57 am

gundam wrote: i think there's a lil too much ... pointing at stuff and saying what it is. i think in some cases it would be better to just show the action (like the ... stabbing... of adonis) then to explain it after the fact. it occassionally ruins the pacing, cuz i end up stopping and staring at it and wondering about it and then i've lost my place. *giggles* and like.... vincent & adonis in the tree... if the bg of them sitting there had been a lil more detailed i would have known just by looking at it that they were in a tree. i know much of the pointing and stuff is part of the charm, but some of it could be rendered superfulous w/ a lil more work. just a thought...

*sweatdrop* Yes, I can see what you mean. (Mira too.) The only thing is... I usually use things like the tree comment when I <i>can't</i> make anything detailed. ^^; I had absolutely no time that day, and that's how it is most days with the comic. But the alternative is updating twice a week and having the story get nowhere very slowly. u.u But there are lots of labels I can cut out, so I'll try to cut back.

The pointiness in serious moments is a definite sign of how sick of the angst I am. n_n; Gotta control that. It's annoying to me, but I guess someone zipping through in a couple of hours what I've been immersed in for almost a year would find it a bit different.

Finally, I never really thought of the lack of backgrounds as a good thing. If there's no background, it's another lacked-time thing. Or the bg just wouldn't fit in the panels somehow. @.@

Woot! This topic is useful.

Thank you.

Gundam · Post by **Gundam** » Tue Jan 07, 2003 10:06 am

which is why it never really bothered me. i can tell that some things are either a lack of time or just couldn't get it to look right or whatever. i can only imagine how difficult it is to get arcana out as often as you do.

and as for someone zipping thru it in an afternoon... *looks sheepish* i barely started reading it and believe me i couldn't have stopped if i wanted to. ^-^

Dracoboy · Post by **Dracoboy** » Wed Jan 08, 2003 7:50 am

Mira Fastfire wrote:Artistically, my only complaint would be that occasionally you seem to make the necks a wee-bit too long.

I agree on that.
Especialy Holden's neck looks stretched out sometimes.

*feels the need to buy a coke* Huh? I don't even like coke... <.<

Aelyn · Post by **Aelyn** » Wed Jan 08, 2003 8:09 am

Mmm....girafffe necks.

Dracoboi! *glomps* Haven't seen you around these parts much lately.

Or maybe I'm inattentive.

Dracoboy · Post by **Dracoboy** » Wed Jan 08, 2003 9:13 am

Aelyn wrote:Mmm....girafffe necks.

LMAO. Now that would be something different: giraffe-people instead of catpeople

Nope, you're right, I've been neglecting your forum for a while 'couse of lots of stuff to do. Sorry.
Happy 2003 btw, wish you lots of love, good health, creativity and lots of money. ^^