New James Bond! Hooray! My brain has melted!

New James Bond! Hooray! My brain has melted!

Postby Susano-[MacH] on Sat Nov 23, 2002 7:12 pm

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM THE LATEST JAMES BOND MOVIE, "DIE ANOTHER DAY":

1) Asian men can never become powerful men in society unless they change into white men (see ACTUAL KOREAN MEN TURNING INTO OR GETTING TURNED INTO THE PALEST BRITISH MEN EVER).

2) Asian men are inherently power hungry and opportunistic, despite any "western moral waverings" such as, you know, "honor" or "justice" or "saving lives" (see OTHERWISE MORAL, LEFTIST KOREAN GENERAL CONFLICTED OVER WHETHER OR NOT GLOBAL CONQUEST IS WORTH THE MASS DESTRUCTION OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE, INCLUDING FELLOW KOREANS).

3) The reason why #2 is true is because of deep-seated Asian cultural values which cause them to cast aside the Bright, Shining Moral Western Values in favor of the Dark, Irrational Immoral Eastern Values (see MORAL, LEFTIST KOREAN GENERAL SWAYED BY A QUOTE FROM SUN TZU'S ART OF WAR as well as "THROWING KNIFE THROWN THROUGH A PHYSICAL COPY OF SUN TZU'S ART OF WAR DURING HALLE BERRY'S KNIFE FIGHT" MOTIF... NO, I SHIT YOU NOT).

I hereby proclaim that the scriptwriters of this movie have officially joined my "Scriptwriters to Beat Up and Urinate On" list, along with the guy who wrote "Lethal Weapon 4" and the guy who wrote "2009: Lost Memories." Thank you.

[On a better note, the car chase scene across ice was excellently shot, despite the blatant Johnnie To camera work cop-offs (see RUNNING OUT OF TIME). And John Cleese was in top form.]
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Postby Krazy Krow on Sat Nov 23, 2002 7:16 pm

I haven't seen the flick, but geez, lighten up. Almost every other Bond film had an evil white guy in it, why read into that?
Egad, no bondage?

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Postby Doctor Ray on Sat Nov 23, 2002 8:05 pm

Man this stuff writes itself!
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Postby Doctor Ray on Sat Nov 23, 2002 8:07 pm

They forgot the mention that your typical hardcore Korean has no respect for the sanctity of others' chimichangas, not even their own.
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Postby Susano-[MacH] on Sat Nov 23, 2002 8:13 pm

Krazy Krow wrote:I haven't seen the flick, but geez, lighten up. Almost every other Bond film had an evil white guy in it, why read into that?


KNIFE THROUGH SUN TZU'S ART OF WAR????

No, I say this because the scriptwriter did a bang-up job with the more obvious connections earlier... the weapon of "the sun", the fact that the lead bad guy was an insomniac after the whitewash operation, the revenge kick... it was actually pretty well written in, and while it wasn't exactly subtle, it wasn't "hit-in-the-head-with-a-falling-cross" type of imagery.
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Postby Susano-[MacH] on Sat Nov 23, 2002 8:17 pm

Doctor Ray wrote:They forgot the mention that your typical hardcore Korean has no respect for the sanctity of others' chimichangas, not even their own.


Koreans don't ever have their own chimichangas... they ALWAYS steal it, friend in the Fatherland!
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Postby Krazy Krow on Sat Nov 23, 2002 8:40 pm

Susano-[MacH] wrote:it wasn't "hit-in-the-head-with-a-falling-cross" type of imagery.


Does this mean you won't like my preacher character who beats bad guys with a giant cross? DEACON JUSTICE!
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Postby Susano-[MacH] on Sat Nov 23, 2002 9:31 pm

Krazy Krow wrote:
Susano-[MacH] wrote:it wasn't "hit-in-the-head-with-a-falling-cross" type of imagery.


Does this mean you won't like my preacher character who beats bad guys with a giant cross? DEACON JUSTICE!


But, see, that's IRONIC. That's like people who don't enjoy The Big Hit because it seemed like a sad shadow of an action film... BUT THAT WAS THE POINT.
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Postby The Rookie on Sat Nov 30, 2002 5:03 am

When I first saw Zao in trailers and posters and stuff i said to my friend "he's either really good at computers, or martial arts, or both"

I was upset to find out he was good at neither
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Postby Susano-[MacH] on Sun Dec 01, 2002 12:30 pm

The Rookie wrote:When I first saw Zao in trailers and posters and stuff i said to my friend "he's either really good at computers, or martial arts, or both"

I was upset to find out he was good at neither


No no, martial arts and computers are reserved for chinese and japanese... Zao is Korean, so he's ALMOST AS GOOD A DRIVER AS THE HERO. Remember, he was a bad guy in Fast and the Furious as well!
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Postby Krazy Krow on Sun Dec 01, 2002 2:32 pm

But does he drive a Supra with a big homoerotic naked man sticker on the side?
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Postby Doctor Ray on Sun Dec 01, 2002 9:00 pm

I DO!
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Postby The Rookie on Mon Dec 02, 2002 9:33 pm

damn it krow, PAUL WALKER drove the supra, now the asian guy, he drove like a CIVIC TYPE R or something

also in japan do they have the new initial d games yet?
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Postby Krazy Krow on Mon Dec 02, 2002 9:45 pm

I knew that, but the Supra was funnier. Asian guy drove an S2000 with NAWWSSS.

The Initial D arcade game has been out for a while, and to put it simply, it sucks ass. The driving physics are terrible, there is NO counter-steer in the game! A huge oversight since everyone in the anime is always at full opposite lock. In the game you just sorta yank the wheel back and forth and your car drifts automatically. Most courses you can do entirely in top gear with only occasional braking.
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Postby The Rookie on Tue Dec 03, 2002 6:13 pm

I meant the NEWWWWWWWWWWW intiial d game (arcade stage 2)

we've had (imports) of the first game and I like it. You must be some super whiz ricer since I always wipe out or you bring your own v tech stickers and put them on the cabinet giving you powers. I think the physics are great and my only complaint is the lack of a real gear shift system (i hate the bs sega "up" and "down" shift) but hey, whatever :)
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Postby Krazy Krow on Tue Dec 03, 2002 8:16 pm

Naa, go play Battle Gear for good drift physics. As someone who used to drive an MR2 through the snow, I think I am qualified to say what drifting should feel like :) At least Initial D has nice steering feedback.

For pure arcade fun, I like Wangan Midnight. I forget what it's called stateside. Is the old 240Z still in the game?
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Postby Krazy Krow on Sat Dec 07, 2002 7:00 pm

Rookie: You gotta find Battle Gear 3! I just discovered it last night, a big improvement over the original Battle Gear. Still has the same up-down shifter as Initial D, but the physics are a lot better. There's a key for online play, kinda like the memory card for Initial D.
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