Going to America

[ZOMBIE USER 6185]

Well Kath, have fun down In the States and don't do anything that I wouldn't do.

*Looks at his "Don't Do List"*

Hmm, I thought my "Don't Do" list would at least be longer than 4 sentences.

[EteRock]

I don't know what it is but that topic reminds me of the Eddie Murphy movie "Coming to America"

Well Kath, have fun down In the States and don't do anything that I wouldn't do.

*Looks at his "Don't Do List"*

Hmm, I thought my "Don't Do" list would at least be longer than 4 sentences.

My "Don't Do List" is a couple pages long. Not cause I wouldn't do or want to do those things but because when ever I do I get in big trouble. I can't believe how pissed women get they find I've been watching them and everything they did and everywhere they went. Taking pictures going through their garbage. I'm shy is that so wrong?

[Al_fayyed]

Great...now you have Bruce Springsteen's "Coming to America" stuck in my head. I never really thought it applied to Canadians, even movie star ones.

On my "don't do" list, I have a couple key things:

• Do not drive in NASCAR. It seems people go to see the cars crash into the walls, possibly dismembering their occupants.
• Do not mention that you're Canadian amongst a group of Republicans, unless you immediately follow it up with "...and my taxes are too high!"
• Do not assume that people follow the rules of the road as they apply to any country on earth. You may notice the people in SUVs doing this, but I think the largest group are people in fast cars or crappy cheap cars that barely contain their spite for the world.
• Do not go to Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon.
• Do not do a reality show for broadcast television.
• Stay away from that sodium-lipid goo they put on popcorn ("I can believe it's not butter") in America's chain movie theaters.
• Do not eat "scrapple."

That should cover it. Enjoy the land of the free and the home of the brave!

- Akhmed

[Balloonfrogspider]

Also there are special rules for just being in Wisconsin!

-Don't say you're a vegitarian unless it's in Madison. People will give you odd looks.
-If asked if you like the Packers nod you're head and stare blankly.
-You love cheese. If not claim you do.
-A "bubbler" is a water fountain.
-"soda" is pop
-Confederate flags on things are now cool

I think that's most of the big ones. Normal rules of logic don't apply here.....

[KathleenJ]

Wish me luck...I'm just about to go to the airport! I'll have lots of time waiting at various stops to compile a Don't Do List...
Gah, I wish I could remember where I once found this great list of proverbs by famous people of things you should never do. It was all stuff like "Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day - Harry S Truman".
And luckily, I love cheese.
And the movie popcorn and driver problems aren't limited to America (although maybe they're worse there, I don't know)!
Minirant: In my soon to be former city here, we have a large population of guys driving trucks jacked up like six feet higher than should be allowed, driving through the downtown making "vroom!" noises just because they CAN.
And now I'm very curious about what "scrapple" is.
Hee hee...bubbler is a cool word.
Anyway, I'll come back with a report on what's strangely different in America, and what I never realized was strangely different in Canada.
Sayonara!

[EteRock]

Also there are special rules for just being in Wisconsin!

-"soda" is pop

Of course soda is "pop" what else would you call it? It's like calling a remote a "channel changer" or "clicker" Pop to me refers to like "pop star" or "pop rock"



Here's wishing Kathleen a nice trip.

[Justinpie]

KATWATCH 2002
Kathleen is now in Calgary.

[Dalhar]

Well, guess I'll have to wish her well too!

Things NOT to do:
* Shoot yourself in the foot.
* Give in to the urge to go hobo. Same with general theft and larceny.

Things to do:
* Have fun!
* Do well!

Edit: Deletium. That was too harsh. And political. Have to keep off the worst provocations, you know..

[Al_fayyed]

I'm with Dalhar here. DO NOT "go hobo" under any circumstances. First, our trains are having a habit of derailing this summer. Second, a foreigner travelling illegally across the United States is going to be an extra-special catch for Homeland Security. As their track record goes, you might see your parents again when John Ashcroft leaves office. Third, and most importantly, the food sucks when you're a hobo. Eat well. Don't be a drifter.

This message brought to you by Herr's Hot Cheese Curls.

[Justinpie]

KATWATCH 2002
Kat's here!

I actually looked for Herr's yesterday, only to find nothing. Is this a big name thing in DC, like Frito Lay would be?
Anyway, yeah, I'm thinking it'll be a good idea for KAt to not do anything that would prohibit U.S. entry. Though, that's tricky: When I was coming back through the U.S. border when visiting Kat a couple months ago, some Canadian guy got turned back for marijuana posession 24 YEARS AGO. And that was back in Canada. Harsh much!

[KathleenJ]

Hee, you forgot to notify the world when I was in Minneapolis (home of the world's most intentionally deceptive airport)!
Anyway, yeah, I finally made it to America, and not that much is different so far. The only things I've noticed are a couple brand names and snack foods I always hear about, but we don't have in Canada.
Strangely enough, they still have Canada Dry Gingerale, but the can is all different. Oh, and Cherry Coke is plentiful here! I'm in heaven.
Heh, I can't pretend it wasn't tempting to run away and go hobo when I was trying to get past the customs people. I had a sinister looking man in a booth get annoyed at me for filling out a form wrong, and another guy eagerly pawing through my suitcase (wearing a big latex glove, which I REALLY hope hadn't been used for a cavity search five minutes before).
So yeah, I'm going to do my best to be law abiding here, and not try to bring home any unnecessary wildlife.
Again, sorry about the comic. I tried, I really did. I'll try my best to have it up tomorrow.
Later!

[Al_fayyed]

I actually looked for Herr's yesterday, only to find nothing. Is this a big name thing in DC, like Frito Lay would be?

I've been "East Side" for my entire life; if I haven't been on the east coast of the United States, I've been on the eastern shore of Asia. Anyway, Herr's, like Utz, is a largish Pennsylvania-based snack combine. I thought it spread across the country, it may be regional. I know Utz sticks around here, despite its production of the tubs of cheese balls which should be mandatory for all households in America. (In case of nuclear war or something.)

As for the "rubber glove" treatment, all I can say is that I know a home inspector who wears a rubber glove on his right hand when he does home inspections. Don't know why he doesn't have two.

[KathleenJ]

Eh, the one-glove treatment is still within the realm of normalcy until it becomes one glove covered with rhinestones, Micheal Jackson style.
(Sidebar - whatever happened to Bubbles the monkey?)
But the more that I think about it, single gloves just don't seem right. There's all kinds of bizarre and/or negative connotations, like the aforementioned, and invasive medical exams, and the one big glove the Blue Meanies had in Yellow Submarine.

[Dalhar]

Oh, is it so bad?

Someone needs to use a glove from time to time, but not always. And at the same time needs a non-gloved hand.

Who knows what peope carry around for luggage?
Used diapers?
All kinds of foodstuffs, like smashed bananas?
Used syringes?
Shirts so white, they get spotted no matter what?

Imagination should set the limits here, not?

[Balloonfrogspider]

You pick any Simpsons Poptarts while here?
I'm not sure if you get cool things like that in Canada.
(You seem to be deprived of cool Simpsons crap there.)

[Joe van der Gonz]

I'm not sure if you get cool things like that in Canada.
(You seem to be deprived of cool Simpsons crap there.)

We've got PLENTY of quality Simpsons merchandise up here, including "Simpsons Brand A-OK Bear Mace", "Simpsons Scalp Wax", and the ever popular "Simpsons Tainted Salmon - Now in a Can!"

[Balloonfrogspider]

Wow!
We don't get that here in 'Merica!
We just have Simpsons brand guns, and Simpsons brand guns for kids.

[Dalhar]

We just have Simpsons brand guns, and Simpsons brand guns for kids.

Pardon my ignorance but.. "The brand that blows up in your face?"

[Balloonfrogspider]

Well that's every kind of gun if you aren't a god fearing member of the NRA.