Actually, yes it's funny...

Postby Tycho on Mon Mar 18, 2002 5:43 am

Really, the whole Axe & Techie thing is quite funny. Humourous even. Hilarious. And yet, so goddamn true.
The scary thing is ? Information Technology (my course) is regarded as a techie course sometimes. It's more of a mangement thing. Computer Science (Hello Dunni & Cox), is more of the techie thing.
And yes, I'm pretty sure we all get the urge to chase them around with axes. ... Okay, Japanese Head-Hammer Stone Axes in my case, but axes all the same.
....
Okay, me be quiet now. * hides in shame. *
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Postby Dark Prophet on Mon Mar 18, 2002 9:37 am

Hey, I wish it to be publicly known that i have never chased a techie around with an axe...

*kicks chainsaw under bed*
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Postby Tycho on Tue Mar 19, 2002 3:49 pm

Mmmm...
Here's my standard threat to any computer which is misbehaving.
"Look. If you don't start behaving, I will be forced to install Windows 3.0 back onto you. With. 1.44. Floppy. Disk."

I've yet to see a computer stop BSOD'ing and misbehaving.
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Postby Corybantic on Tue Mar 19, 2002 9:04 pm

Whereas I find that simply ignoring the problem makes it go away.

IE refuses to load? just play some solitaire and try again in a couple of minutes. ISP fucking up? ooh.. that's a Freecell problem. Modem not found. Tough one that, but I recommend Minesweeper.
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Postby Twelveeyes on Wed Mar 20, 2002 12:27 am

*sigh* Computer troubles will happen to anyone. No matter how nice they are to the things.

If something goes wrong...
Go and play a game of Freecell, Solitaire or Hearts. Whatever is a bundled Windows game.
If that doesn't work...
Start deleting files. Well, threaten it first. Then start deleting. Begin with crap that obviously doesn't need to be there. Temp files, for example.
If your computer is still misbehaving, hit Ctrl + Alt + Del. Close any program that you don't recognise as having some importance.
Failing that, restart it.
If your computer is still being a little shit by that time, start bashing it. Fist first, then you can involve other large, heavy objects. The ground, for instance.

*grins* and if all that doesn't work, perhaps a trip to the computer shop would help...or your local Dungeon. Depending on whether it's a school computer or not.

Jo, not v. funny...
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Postby Delirieuse on Sat Mar 23, 2002 5:16 am

On 2002-03-19 21:04, Corybantic wrote:
Whereas I find that simply ignoring the problem makes it go away.

IE refuses to load? just play some solitaire and try again in a couple of minutes. ISP fucking up? ooh.. that's a Freecell problem. Modem not found. Tough one that, but I recommend Minesweeper.



Moniter and computer not talking to each other? Axe chasey.
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Postby Twelveeyes on Sat Mar 23, 2002 5:20 am

Owie.

Computers not networking? Pull out and shove in cables repeatedly until they do.

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Postby Tycho on Sun Mar 24, 2002 4:34 am

Let's see now... Networking is usually easily fixed by a quick trip to the Control Panel.
Either that, or open up MSDOS and starting pinging around to see if it is even connected.
If pinging fails, then go to Control Panel and check your various TCP/IP controls and properties until it's satisfactory.
Also, if you're at a gaming lan, check to see if some-one else has also got your IP addy. If so, that's definitely why it ain't working.
Network cords... are a piddly nuisance. Gimme Infra-Red Network cards anytime ! ... Unless you've got those damnable Anti-Pest-power-point-plug stuff in your room. In which case, Infra-Red stuff is very very unreliable.
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Postby Twelveeyes on Mon Mar 25, 2002 1:43 am

*nods* Whatever.

Pulling out and shoving in network cables has worked for me for the past 3 years and *shall* continue to work.

Or I may have to get that Stanley knife out...

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Postby Tycho on Mon Mar 25, 2002 6:04 am

* Rolls eyes *
Dear... Network cables falling out can be fixed by the ever-omnipotent Duct Tape ! It's got a light side, a dark side, and it holds Network Cables together. It's almighty ! I worship the Duct Tape.
...
Unless it touches skin. In which case, it HURTS !
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Postby Delirieuse on Mon Mar 25, 2002 8:10 am

It was actually a broken motherboard and/or processor. No amount of re-jigging of cords made any difference.
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Postby Twelveeyes on Tue Mar 26, 2002 1:37 am

Well, I don't think duct taping a Cat 5 network cord to my computer will help if I also want to use a crossover cable. Unless this duct tape stuff actually is able to get unstuck? I know it gets unstuck at the school sports, but that's because the handrails aren't smooth clean surfaces...

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Postby Tycho on Tue Mar 26, 2002 5:37 am

Oh... Yeah. Good point.
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Postby Corybantic on Tue Mar 26, 2002 6:24 am

I find my main problem with getting duct-tape unstuck is the bald patches on your skin.


Wait, Did I type that out loud?
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Postby Twelveeyes on Tue Mar 26, 2002 3:39 pm

The main problem with duct tape is the lack of pretty colours.

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Postby Tycho on Tue Mar 26, 2002 3:40 pm

Weeeeellll.... the hair loss isn't such a bad thing in my opinion.
After all, aren't we Asians meant to be more civilized and less hairy than our Westerner Ape cousins ?
Yes, I'm a racist bastard !
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Postby Twelveeyes on Tue Mar 26, 2002 3:45 pm

*smirk* Less hairy is good.

So. When's the next duct tape!waxing session?

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Postby Tycho on Tue Mar 26, 2002 3:52 pm

Hmmm... There's an idea for a guest-strip !
Thanks !
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Postby Twelveeyes on Tue Mar 26, 2002 4:00 pm

You're welcome. I think.

*thinks of a whole new range of uses for duct tape*

Waxing...
Holding up pants...
Ooh...bandages. Or band-aids.
Raid weapon: "Gimme all your money or I'll duct-tape you to the floor!"

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Postby Dark Prophet on Tue Mar 26, 2002 5:51 pm

Oh nonononono!

You duct tape people to the CEILING! Much more fun!

Or the outside walls of a van/truck/lorry which is going at high speed down a motorway

Or the underside if you can do it.

And of course railway lines are always a classic, but not here please, railtrack is bad enough...

ummm, I think i better stop now before people call the police again... and cut taping all those nice officers exactly on the waterline of channel ferries took me HOURS
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