Nonsense Contest!!!

[Illusions abound]

Fuck. Damn. Shit. Fuck - again. Need more curse words. My brain is
coming up short again. Fuckfuckfuck.<P>-Faith, in a Buffyfic I read recently<P>OOG- gratuitous plug... read UCSL!! Unconventional Shippers List! <A HREF="http://www.dympha.net/ucsl" TARGET=_blank>www.dympha.net/ucsl</A>

[Squinky001]

Books rejected by Dr. Suess publishers:<P>1. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, You Bitch
2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
3. Fox In Detox
4. Who Shat in the Hat?
5. Horton Hires a Ho
6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax
7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
8. Your Colon Can Moo - Can You?
9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil
10. The Cat in the Blender
11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the F*** Out!
12. Are You My Proctologist?
13. Yentl the Lentil
14. My Pocket Rocket Needs a Socket
15. Aunts in My Pants

[S.W.Winchester]

OOG - 100 posts to this thread! Wai!!<P>IG - Yes, that takes balls, but I think that it would take more to put anti-cop bumper-stickers on the police cars at the local station.<P>-Me, to a friend. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif">

[Squinky001]

McDonnell Douglas
WARRANTY REGISTRATION CARD<P>This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course, does not have a sense of humor and made the web department take it down immediately. For once, the 'IMPORTANT' note at the
end is worth a read, too.
****************<P>THANK YOU for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.
In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.<P>* * * * * * * *<P>[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other<P>First Name:.....................
Initial: ....
Last Name: ...................
Password: ............... (max. 8 char)
Code Name:......................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ....... ......<P>Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
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[_] Classified<P>Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): .... /.... /...
Serial Number: .................
Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
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[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified<P>Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one<P>Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat<P>Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
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[_] Iraq
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[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq<P>Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM / Scud missile
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon<P>How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all that apply)
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
[_] Just peculiar<P>How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
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[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check
[_] Letter of Marque<P>Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
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[_] Retired
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[_] Classified<P>To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
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[_] Propaganda / misinformation
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[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
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[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction<P>Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!<P>Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:! McDonnell DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military, Aerospace Division<P>IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution, or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.<P>Unless the word "absquatulation" has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.<P>No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the poodle next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.<P>Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer, you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.<P>If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing. <P>[OOG: Sorry this one's so long.]

[S.W.Winchester]

My moral standing is lying down.

[Squinky001]

And as you cross the circle line, the ice-wall creaks behind ---
you're a rabbit on the run.
And the silver splinters fly in the corner of your eye ---
shining in the setting sun.
Well, do you ever get the feeling that the story's
too damn real and in the present tense?
Or that everybody's on the stage, and it seems like
you're the only person sitting in the audience?

[Illusions abound]

This is the thread that reality forgot.<P>-Hard, in the Sexy Losers BBS

[Squinky001]

"Is it gonna be like learning Math? I don't like Math."

[Doodler]

"Well, hello Mister Slicer. You're not going to eat me, are you?"<P>-me, my first day of work

[Squinky001]

"I'm trying to decide whether to respond to you or run you over with a cement truck."

[S.W.Winchester]

"The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority is Isaiah 30:26, "Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days." Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation as we do from
the Sun, and in addition 7*7 (49) times as much as the Earth does from the Sun, or 50 times in all. The light we receive from the Moon is one 1/10,000 of the light we receive from the Sun, so we can ignore that ...
The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation, i.e., Heaven loses 50 times as much heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (H/E)
temperature of the earth (-300K), gives H as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed ... However Revelations 21:8 says "But the fearful, and unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, 444.6C. We have, then, that Heaven, at 525C is hotter than Hell at 445C."<p>[This message has been edited by S.W.Winchester (edited 06-21-2001).]

[Jagged tooth grin]

"OH MY GOD! Puke cheese! You made me remember the secret weapon! I'l be right back!"
a freind of mine called Erin<P>[oog so when does this finish, not that i want it to be over but when do we find out whos winning?]

[Illusions abound]

I want lesbian sex.<P>-me, spontaneously whining over the fact that Cryssi wanted to play a bi character, but I didn't have a sn ready for doing so. <P>OOG- WTF was I supposed to do, break Galana's sexuality just because it was convenient for Cryssi?! Galana is straight!!

[Squinky001]

"Mmm. Coleslaw."

[S.W.Winchester]

(OOG - Well, really, a nonesense contest never does finish ... nor does anyone REALLY keep score ... that's just kinda a joke. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/biggrin.gif">)<P>IG - Yes, well, I bet you don't have a patriot missle launcher from Desert Storm on YOUR desk. <P>-Me to a friend of mine today after finding my old military micro machines. Heh. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif">

[Illusions abound]

...LOOK, I'm right in the middle of transmuting this damn thing so shut up! and if you don't shut up, then I'm just gonna make it into wolf pheromones and put it in an open vial, stuff it in your ass and kick you out into the woods! SO LET ME CONCENTRATE!!!<P>-something that Chiran Liryulan(my new alchemist charrie!) might end up saying.

[S.W.Winchester]

Hmmm. Very interesting, but stupid. <P>-Me to a friend of mine about his concept for an entirely new branch of White Wolf Game Products.

[Doodler]

"Well, I thought about taking over the universe, but a girl's gotta leave some excitement in her life, ya know?"<P>-my Tenchi char, Mimoto

[Jagged tooth grin]

i like saying quark, quark quark quark quark."
hobbes
[oog calvin and hobbs kick arse]

[Jagged tooth grin]

[oog damn stuid mouse clicking to much
sorry about the double post
ohh and i just bought the ghost in th shell graphic novel it rules]<p>[This message has been edited by jagged tooth grin (edited 06-22-2001).]