Livejournal Thread 4: Can't kill what's already dead inside

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

It's Friday night again!

Annnnnnd......
I started to balance my checkbook, and am washing my sheets!

Taste the excitement!

What better way to start the weekend than begining with a *clean* state by doing laundry???


That's my motto

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

1. The Smackjeeves image host seems to be infected with malware, I removed my banner from my signature so you guys can read threads here but wtf that's really annoying lol like um


2. I'm trying to make a twitter, and I want my name to be like, my real name but with my handle in the middle. I'd want it to be like, Very "Cuddly" Cornpone. But it keeps when I do that changing it to just "Very Cuddly Cornpone." Cuddly is not my real middle name NOR my married name and i don't want to confuse people >:(


edit: Huh. If I do it with single quote instead of double quote it works. Is twitter a europe?

[Tim]

I don't think Twitter's based in Europe. But, it might be because double-quotes usually mark the end of strings (words), and therefore using them might mess up how they're stored in the database.

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

I don't think Twitter's based in Europe. But, it might be because double-quotes usually mark the end of strings (words), and therefore using them might mess up how they're stored in the database.

I didn't think so either! It's just weird that it took them out entirely. Why, how's anybody who actually always *does* refer to themself as Name "Nickname" Name supposed to represent themselves on this fool website?!?!?

[Warren]

Try Alt +59E ֞

It's a Unicode character... not sure if it looks like you want but similar.

[IVstudios]

I don't think Twitter's based in Europe. But, it might be because double-quotes usually mark the end of strings (words), and therefore using them might mess up how they're stored in the database.

I didn't think so either! It's just weird that it took them out entirely. Why, how's anybody who actually always *does* refer to themself as Name "Nickname" Name supposed to represent themselves on this fool website?!?!?

Twitter keeps your real name separate from your @ and displayed them one after the other. So you can make your @ "@ VeryCuddlyCornpone" or whatever variant of that you want and then your "Name" your real name so you'll be displayed as "Real Name @Nickname."

[McDuffies]

Your real name is Very? Don't you mean Vera?

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

Your real name is Very? Don't you mean Vera?

It's Polish.

[MariaAndMichelle]

Very Polish.

[Warren]

Now I'm hungry again.

[Dr Legostar]

Very Polish.

Vera Polish?

[Warren]

Vera...... WANG????

[Dr Legostar]

Vera...... WANG????

Must you insert "wang" into every... wait... no... I'm walking away from this conversation.

[MariaAndMichelle]

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

here comes the wang

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

I am really just not doing well lately. I keep panicking about my life, keep reading/hearing about things that make me really annoyed, keep wishing I could just abandon everything and go live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere.
I don't feel like I'm on the "right track" or even just a "right track." Like, I'm not at a fork in the road or a crossroads, I'm on a tiny vessel in the middle of a nondescript sea surrounded by fog and with no compass.
Part of me wants to just say screw it and join the Navy or something, it would make me feel like I had purpose. But I don't think I really want to do that. But I don't know. Maybe I should.
I'm just tired of making decisions with my life that seem to go nowhere. I don't have a calling. I don't have a life dream. I don't have a passion. I don't have a path. Everything I do and every life choice I make seems to just push me a step or two in one direction or another but I don't feel like I"m really making any headway, I don't feel like I"m going anywhere.
I have tons of interests and tons of things I like and enjoy. I also have I guess some sort of commitment issue that makes it so that whenever I consider actually pursuing one of those things I can come up with a list of a thousand reasons why it wouldn't work. I got a degree in something I don't realistically want to pursue as a career. Good job.

I am thankful that I have a job and am making some money, even if it's not much. I'm thankful that I'm living at home with my family and don't need to pay rent or bills, just stuff like gas and whatever. I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend who is trying really hard to help me out of this rut, and great friends who care about me. I'm in fairly good health. I'm not intellectually dumb, I'm just foolish and aimless. It makes me ache to think that I started off with a lot of promise but my inability to think about the future pretty much screwed me over as far back as high school.

I don't know what I want to do in any sort of grand scheme. I know plenty of things I think I don't want to do. I know I want to get married and have a family at some point but I need to do something else in the meantime.

I don't think I know who I am anymore. I thought I had some idea of it in high school, in college. Since the day my diploma arrived in my hands I have done just about nothing substantial.

I don't want to be a big important person. I think I'd like to be a small important person, though.

[RobboAKAscooby]

I am really just not doing well lately. I keep panicking about my life, keep reading/hearing about things that make me really annoyed, keep wishing I could just abandon everything and go live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere.
I don't feel like I'm on the "right track" or even just a "right track." Like, I'm not at a fork in the road or a crossroads, I'm on a tiny vessel in the middle of a nondescript sea surrounded by fog and with no compass.
Part of me wants to just say screw it and join the Navy or something, it would make me feel like I had purpose. But I don't think I really want to do that. But I don't know. Maybe I should.
I'm just tired of making decisions with my life that seem to go nowhere. I don't have a calling. I don't have a life dream. I don't have a passion. I don't have a path. Everything I do and every life choice I make seems to just push me a step or two in one direction or another but I don't feel like I"m really making any headway, I don't feel like I"m going anywhere.
I have tons of interests and tons of things I like and enjoy. I also have I guess some sort of commitment issue that makes it so that whenever I consider actually pursuing one of those things I can come up with a list of a thousand reasons why it wouldn't work. I got a degree in something I don't realistically want to pursue as a career. Good job.

I am thankful that I have a job and am making some money, even if it's not much. I'm thankful that I'm living at home with my family and don't need to pay rent or bills, just stuff like gas and whatever. I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend who is trying really hard to help me out of this rut, and great friends who care about me. I'm in fairly good health. I'm not intellectually dumb, I'm just foolish and aimless. It makes me ache to think that I started off with a lot of promise but my inability to think about the future pretty much screwed me over as far back as high school.

I don't know what I want to do in any sort of grand scheme. I know plenty of things I think I don't want to do. I know I want to get married and have a family at some point but I need to do something else in the meantime.

I don't think I know who I am anymore. I thought I had some idea of it in high school, in college. Since the day my diploma arrived in my hands I have done just about nothing substantial.

I don't want to be a big important person. I think I'd like to be a small important person, though.

I feel for you Cuddly.

Don't stress too much about a lack of direction in life. It took me until I was 26-27 (and in a serious period of depression) to figure out what I want to do with my life and I'm still struggling along with that but one thing I've learned is that when the question people (or yourself) are asking is "Why?" the answer has to be "Why not?"

Just keep living and keep trying to smile until you figure out what your dream is because it is never too late to start chasing it.



One last thing. There was an interview that Jackie Chan did early in his career where he was asked, "Do you want to be the next Bruce Lee?" His response, "I want to be the first me."
I've always thought that's a good way to look at life.

[Dr Legostar]

I am really just not doing well lately. I keep panicking about my life, keep reading/hearing about things that make me really annoyed, keep wishing I could just abandon everything and go live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere.
I don't feel like I'm on the "right track" or even just a "right track." Like, I'm not at a fork in the road or a crossroads, I'm on a tiny vessel in the middle of a nondescript sea surrounded by fog and with no compass.
Part of me wants to just say screw it and join the Navy or something, it would make me feel like I had purpose. But I don't think I really want to do that. But I don't know. Maybe I should.
I'm just tired of making decisions with my life that seem to go nowhere. I don't have a calling. I don't have a life dream. I don't have a passion. I don't have a path. Everything I do and every life choice I make seems to just push me a step or two in one direction or another but I don't feel like I"m really making any headway, I don't feel like I"m going anywhere.
I have tons of interests and tons of things I like and enjoy. I also have I guess some sort of commitment issue that makes it so that whenever I consider actually pursuing one of those things I can come up with a list of a thousand reasons why it wouldn't work. I got a degree in something I don't realistically want to pursue as a career. Good job.

I am thankful that I have a job and am making some money, even if it's not much. I'm thankful that I'm living at home with my family and don't need to pay rent or bills, just stuff like gas and whatever. I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend who is trying really hard to help me out of this rut, and great friends who care about me. I'm in fairly good health. I'm not intellectually dumb, I'm just foolish and aimless. It makes me ache to think that I started off with a lot of promise but my inability to think about the future pretty much screwed me over as far back as high school.

I don't know what I want to do in any sort of grand scheme. I know plenty of things I think I don't want to do. I know I want to get married and have a family at some point but I need to do something else in the meantime.

I don't think I know who I am anymore. I thought I had some idea of it in high school, in college. Since the day my diploma arrived in my hands I have done just about nothing substantial.

I don't want to be a big important person. I think I'd like to be a small important person, though.

I had my life all worked out when I was young. I went to school. I went to more school. I went to still more school. Got a doctorate and started working. Lost my job, realized that research was not at ALL what I wanted to do in life and went BACK to school in my thirties. I am in class now with kids ten years younger than me, in a much more fulfilling career path.

Ultimately, it's okay to not know what you want to do, not know where you want to go or how you're going to accomplish it, because even if you know those things, it doesn't really matter sometimes. Sometimes you just gotta pick a path, whatever it may be, whatever your heart tells you, and go for it. Maybe it's wrong for you, maybe you'll have to backtrack and start over, maybe it'll help you find what you really want out of life, but it's okay if you chose the wrong path, there's always a way to another path.

Robbo's quote from Jackie Chan is excellent and I agree completely. Be the best you that you can be and work out the details as you go. Career plans are great, just be ready to change them when life hands you something unexpected.

[djracodex]

I don't think I know who I am anymore. I thought I had some idea of it in high school, in college. Since the day my diploma arrived in my hands I have done just about nothing substantial.

I don't want to be a big important person. I think I'd like to be a small important person, though.

Hugs. My boyfriend's was/is in the same boat. He didn't feel like he was going down any path that meant something to him. Had good health, good family, degree (also in something he has no job interest in), very smart, but no real 'thing' that he could follow into something bigger.
He's still kinda in that rut, getting a job that uses his hands has made him feel a lot more 'useful' though. I don't think either of us (or really most of us) know exactly what we want to do. You just got to keep on doing, follow any whim you have that might lead to something, don't be at all discouraged if it doesn't lead to where you think. Most importantly,

[LibertyCabbage]

I've been having a lot of similar thoughts lately. I guess it's fairly common for people in their 20s to go through something like this. For me, it's more like a bland sense of apathy in my quiet way. And yeah, sometimes I feel like I'd be better off leaving all of my ambitions and failures behind with society and all its people and living alone on an island somewhere.

One difference, though, is I don't think I care at all about being important. I'd be fine going through life not being liked, respected, or successful. I think my Jackie Chan path is finding inner peace through analyzing my thoughts, learning more about life and human nature, and reflecting on my past experiences. And to get there, I think I just need lots of time, and lots of time to myself. I feel like, sometimes, I've been so focused on external factors that I've forgotten about my maturity and well-being. Whoops.

I've been an adult for nine years now, and, yeah, it would've been nice to have figured some of this stuff out a little earlier. But that's okay. Every brief sensation of wholeness and every crappy irritation has contributed in some small way to where I am in my life right now.