Livejournal Thread 4: Can't kill what's already dead inside

[McDuffies]

You call that a noife? This is noife!

[robotthepirate]

You call that a noife? This is noife!

That's a spoon!

I wish I could have your stoicism about impending horrible disembowelment.

Yeah, I've always been a basket case of imaginary fears. My irrational side wants me to hide in my bed (not under the covers, you can't see anything sneaking up if you do that) while my rational side gave up when I realised a ghost could just come up through the under side of my bed and get me anyway.

[McDuffies]

But if you're not under the covers, are you actually hidden?

[djracodex]

Had a root canal about 2 weeks ago. It's been recovering with pain here and there, but these past few days it has become unbearably constant pain. I am one bloody volleyball best friend from knocking this thing out with a damn ice skate. [/whining]

[Humbug]

Saw something that mad me mad and cry at the same time. A couple of days ago, after coming home from dinner, I saw a woman with her parked car at the side drop off a dog on a sidewalk of a really busy road. I didn't really think too much on it, and at best I thought she was just removing a stray from her area or something.

When I passed the same way again this night, I saw the exact same dog dead exactly where it was left. That meant it wasn't a stray dog, it was her pet and it was sitting on the sidewalk in the blistering heat with no food or water these past few days, waiting for its owner to take it home. This horrible woman just abandoned her dog in the worst place possible and left it to suffer. If she didn't want it anymore she could have just put it up for adoption or had it euthanized, the latter would have been more humane than what it really went through. I cried for the poor dog.

[RobboAKAscooby]

Saw something that mad me mad and cry at the same time. A couple of days ago, after coming home from dinner, I saw a woman with her parked car at the side drop off a dog on a sidewalk of a really busy road. I didn't really think too much on it, and at best I thought she was just removing a stray from her area or something.

When I passed the same way again this night, I saw the exact same dog dead exactly where it was left. That meant it wasn't a stray dog, it was her pet and it was sitting on the sidewalk in the blistering heat with no food or water these past few days, waiting for its owner to take it home. This horrible woman just abandoned her dog in the worst place possible and left it to suffer. If she didn't want it anymore she could have just put it up for adoption or had it euthanized, the latter would have been more humane than what it really went through. I cried for the poor dog.

Fucking bitch!

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

Humbug, I'm so sorry you had to watch that happen. I will never understand why people choose to do the things they do to animals, especially to ones that are supposed to be treated as friends, if not family. There's just no excuse. Most humane " I don't want this animal anymore" options are either just as much effort or maybe one or two steps more than the things these people deem is "good enough."

At a fundamental level I just don't understand.

[Cope]

aaaaaargh oh god what the fuck.

[Humbug]

Yea, I can never understand how some can't see that it's exactly the same as dumping your own child on the sidewalk. Some people have no business owning pets.

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

this is nowhere near the gravity of the previous conversation so i apologize for the tone shift


but I'm tired And I keep running across things online that leave me in a bad mood.

[RobboAKAscooby]

but I'm tired And I keep running across things online that leave me in a bad mood.

I've been there, dudette.

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

but I'm tired And I keep running across things online that leave me in a bad mood.

I've been there, dudette.

Schoob, you're the only real scoob.


(typing it correctly the second time was an accident)

[RobboAKAscooby]

(typing it correctly the second time was an accident)

[RobboAKAscooby]

Oh Jeebuz! Why do I do this to myself?!

Just had a binge on ED's dArt pages - I have seen things no person should ever see - why do those people (can't call them artists) think they're talented? And worse any of the ones that seem to have talent draw nothing but fan-art porn.

And here I was thinking that looking at some crap might make me happy with my own art (and break this stupid artist block), instead all I can think is why fucking bother when these talentless retreads have a ton more fans than I ever do.


Moral of the story: next time I've got artist block, turn off the fucking internet.

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

Moral of the story: next time I've got artist block, turn off the fucking internet.

Next time you've got artists block, if you're looking at art for inspiration, my suggestion is (after you go for a walk and all the other shit you're supposed to do)-
Look at skillful art in a medium that isn't the one you are currently frustrated with. I suggest looking at another medium- like scenic paintings or sculptures- because it helps you to not compare yourself to that artist, so instead of saying "Oh my god I can't believe so and so made money off this shit" or "Wow, I'll never ever be as good as so and so even til the day I die" you can just appreciate a cool thing looking cool and get some ideas from it.

[RobboAKAscooby]

"Wow, I'll never ever be as good as so and so even til the day I die"

Believe me when I say that phrase never entered my mind during the trawl.

My main problem was that, at the time, I was frustrated with the results (and wasted paper) and thought I'd pep myself up by showing myself I'm not as crap as I think I am.
And it backfired spectacularly because I started reading instead of just looking and laughing.
Like whenever I read the comments below a news article, I always end up in a worse mood.

I would have gone for a walk but it's the middle of the night here.
In the end I just watched Stripes with the director's commentary on.

Alas I am realising, more and more, that many of my creative problems come from my depression, self-esteem and social anxiety issues (something I am forcing myself to deal with via my new site being equal parts personal blog and promoting my works), it's like because I know I'm going to be putting something on show I get into the same headspace as when I withdraw from social situations.
When it comes to all the doodling I've been doing lately I've been more relaxed and I think it's because I'm not really doing it to show anyone (besides maybe on twitter).


On a side note, I bought a sample pack from an art store a few weeks ago ($5 for 12 A7 pads of different paper) and have decided to do a "mini-art a day" project on my site, so at the very least I'll be forced to both draw and post everyday, I'm on to day 3 today (wooo!).

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

Oh, of course you wouldn't be saying it while looking at THOSE drawings, I just meant in general- sometimes if I'm looking at artists who are actually good, instead of inspiring me, if I'm in a bad place it can make me more depressed and down on myself.

What you've said about doing daily small projects and "don't care doodles" sounds like a pretty good idea. The nice thing is you don't feel pressured to "improve" (which can be a nebulous concpet), just to get something accomplished, get something done. Getting things done- even if they're not masterpieces- can help build up confidence enough to try more expansive and challenging projects. Sometimes you can't jump off the diving board right into the pool, you have to wade in to the shallow end first and go inch by cold inch.

[MariaAndMichelle]

Had a root canal about 2 weeks ago. It's been recovering with pain here and there, but these past few days it has become unbearably constant pain. I am one bloody volleyball best friend from knocking this thing out with a damn ice skate. [/whining]

Argh, you too? Maria had a root canal about two weeks ago, and it didn't take either. It's one of her front teeth, too, so it's especially awful. She had to go back last week, and the dentist drained it, removed some more root, and shaved the tooth a little, 'cause it was apparently scraping against one of her bottom teeth (she didn't even notice it until after the shaving and it wasn't happening anymore).

But last night the tooth chipped 'cause he shaved it so thin!

And, of course, our dentist isn't open on Wednesdays, so we couldn't do anything about it today. She's going to have to call tomorrow to get them to fix this effer.

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

nnnnnoooo teeth problems I missed my six month checkup at the dentist back in November and have an appointment this coming monday morning... I'm *terrified.* I've never been afraid to go to the dentist before but I can feel so many problem spots in the pits of my teeth and I really don't want to have to get serious work done because a. it's a lot of money even with insurance and b. what if it hurts


-this is coming from a person who already has at least 10 fillings (or ten teeth with fillings, some of them have doubles) because i have weak enamel and the way my teeth are shaped they're especially prone to problems

[djracodex]

nnnnnoooo teeth problems I missed my six month checkup at the dentist back in November and have an appointment this coming monday morning... I'm *terrified.* I've never been afraid to go to the dentist before but I can feel so many problem spots in the pits of my teeth and I really don't want to have to get serious work done because a. it's a lot of money even with insurance and b. what if it hurts


-this is coming from a person who already has at least 10 fillings (or ten teeth with fillings, some of them have doubles) because i have weak enamel and the way my teeth are shaped they're especially prone to problems

Ugh, what blows is it's one of those things that you have to get fixed, because there's nothing you can do otherwise. You can't go to the gym, you can't eat healthier,you can't even floss and mouthwash everyday, because if your teeth suck, they just suck. Saliva enzymes and what not, they just suck genetically. You just have to fork over the money, or you will be in the 8th circle of world of hurt until then.
It's gunna hurt, and I'm sorry, baby girl. But at least you'll be fixed?
Update: The layer between the membrane of my sinus and the bone decided to have a party. But after a week of antibiotics (and more pain meds) I'm great!