Laugh, damn you. -_-

[Leeloo]

Nice.

First, instead of adding 3 after multiplying with 3, we can add 1 before multiplyting with 3 (as 3*1 = 3). By changing the order, we get "multiply by 3" twice in a row. Then we multiply 3*3 and get 9, so the steps can be reduced to add one, then multiply by nine.

Now, lets look a bit closer at multiplying by nine, and what digits we get:

9x = (10-1)x = 10x-x = 10(x-1)+(10-x).

E.g. for 9*7 we get 10*6+10-7 = 63.

That is, x-1 is the first digit, and 10-x is the second digit. The next step is to add the digits together.

x-1+10-x = -1+10 = 9.

Whoa, x, the number we originally picked (or rather, that number plus one) disappeared from the equation. The result is 9, no matter what x is (well, as long as x is between 1 and 10, which is why we are asked to pick a number between 1 and 9 - before adding 1).

Quod Est Demonstrandum (or something like that).

[Aeridus]

Yeah, I did the proof too.

[Ghastly]

But.... but that really is my favourite movie!

[Aeridus]

We know, Unca Ghastly, we know.

[RevChris77]

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully, she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." She then told her husband what the druggist said to her.

Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist, and demand an apology. Before he could say more then a word or two, the druggist said, "Now just a minute! Listen to my side of it."

"This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, only to realize that I had locked the house and the house and car keys were inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire.

"When I finally got to the store there were a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened, and started waiting on these people. All the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook. I had to break open a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels. The phone was still ringing. When I came up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer. That made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke. Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up. When I finally got to answer it, it was your wife.

"She wanted to know how to use a RECTAL thermometer. And believe me Mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her!"

[RevChris77]

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

"Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!"

"I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!"

"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!"

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window. As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others.Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.

"Oh yes!" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free!"

Another runner moved a long side. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"

Oh, yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!"

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"

"Nope.........just when it's raining"

[RevChris77]

She was in the kitchen preparing boiled eggs for breakfast.

He walks in and asks, "What's for breakfast?"

She turns to him and anxiously says, "Quick! You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

Thinking it's his lucky day, he stands her over the kitchen table and they have sex. When they finish, he asks, "What was that all about?"

"The egg timer is broken," she replied.

[RevChris77]

Employee: Sir, you called me?

Boss: Yeah, Go to the restroom and masturbate.

Employee (after few minutes):Done sir.

Boss: Do it again.

Employee: Done it again.

Boss: Do it once more.

Employee: Now I don't have much stamina for it sir.

Boss: Very good. Here's the keys to my car. Drop my daughter at home.

[RevChris77]

Things you'd love to say at work, but probably shouldn't:

1. I see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand what you're saying.

10. Ahhh... I see the screw up fairy has visited you again...

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean that you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

[Churba]

Oh, I've said far more cruel, nasty, sarcastic, biting, and generally all around rude things to my boss without a trace of fear, I've meant every single one of them, and I still have a job.

The unfortunate part is that I'm self employed...

[Aeridus]

Oh, I've said far more cruel, nasty, sarcastic, biting, and generally all around rude things to my boss without a trace of fear, I've meant every single one of them, and I still have a job.

The unfortunate part is that I'm self employed...

[RevChris77]

A man sees a fine looking woman at a bar. He steps over to her an says, "Hey baby, let me suck on your nipples."

She says, "Watch it buddy, I'll have my boyfriend kick your ass."

He laughs and says, "Alright, why don't I just give you a big sloppy kiss then."

She says, "Listen, if you say one more thing to me, I will have my man kill you."

"This is my final offer", he says, "I'll hold you upside-down, pour beer into your pussy, and drink from your cunt."

She gets up, walks over to her boyfriend and tells him that the guy said he was going to lick her tits.

He yells, "I'll kill him!"

She then tells him he was going to kiss her. By now he's pissed and starts walking in his direction.

She says, "Wait! He also said he would hang me by my ankles, pour beer down my pussy, and drink from it!"

Her boyfriend stops and say's "Sorry babe, I can't fuck with anyone who can drink that much beer.''

[RevChris77]

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

Velcro — what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

[Lowky]