NEW RP

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NEW RP

Postby Glee on Thu Jan 01, 2009 11:07 pm

***don't have time to post muttro tonight, will post it on friday***
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum"
"...And you're all out of gum, right?"
"What? No, what the fuck do you think I'm chewing?"
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Glee on Fri Jan 02, 2009 5:46 pm

Daily Muttro
Primary Article: Bandits!

Increased bandit activity has forced Blue Circle to put out a bounty on all people taking part in, conspiring, or aiding bandit activity. An even greater reward for the supposed ring leaders of these operations has been put out also. "We didn't want it to come to this, but this is just getting out of control! People are too afraid to travel the roads!" Said Herbert Foley, the police chief of Amadeus, a small town near the border. "While the bounty is out there for anyone in the line of work, We still are encouraging people to report acts of violence and information on these bandits rather than try to deal with it themselves."

Secondary Article: Now hiring

Due to the recent explosion of monsters and bandits in the borderlands, up and coming mercenary corps are expanding their businesses. With one in particular doing especially well. Green Forest Corps, started by former Black Diamond operatives Garrot Haily and Forrest Ramirez is on the rise, posting job openings everywhere. "We need to capitalize now." Forrest told the Muttro during a recent interview. The requirements to join are incredibly lax compared to it's more "professional" counterparts, taking pretty much anybody.

Tertiary Article: Mysterious Thief.

There has been a string of thefts from museums in Danktown. Police officials claim that the thefts were all committed by the same person and are taking measures to secure exhibits around town.
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum"
"...And you're all out of gum, right?"
"What? No, what the fuck do you think I'm chewing?"
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Glee on Fri Jan 02, 2009 8:03 pm

Kiri glumly looked down at the rather greasy looking food that she ordered. She slowly picked at her food, trying to kill as much time as possible. Occasionally, she glanced over to a rather unkempt man in the corner of the diner. The man, trading stares at his observer increasingly grew anxious. Finally after about a half hour, the man got up and went up front to pay for his meal. Kiri slowly got up herself and slapped a twenty down on the table following the mysterious person out of the diner. The man, seeing himself being followed, immediately broke into a sprint. Kiri didn't run after him, but instead pulled out a seed from her pocket and threw it towards him. The seed immediately burst, turning into a large net of vines, tripping up the man and allowing Kiri to catch up to him. "Woah, woah, woah! What do you want with me!?" The man screeched as Kiri picked him up and slammed him into the wall.

"You're a hard man to find, Jack." Kiri sneered. She pulled out a gun from her pocket and pressed it against his skull. "Your bandit friends, tell me about them." The man took a second to realize what she said.

"Fuck you!" He spat at her. She dropped him on the ground and shot a round near his head. "Fuck!"

"Tell me" She commanded. "Tell me, or spend a couple years in jail without kneecaps." She smiled wickedly. He didn't respond. She asked again, this time taking aim at his legs.

"Fuck you, I aint telling you nothing." He jeered. This was all she needed to hear, she pulled the trigger and got his leg.

"Aww, I missed." She smiled as the man screamed in pain, "How about a retry?"
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum"
"...And you're all out of gum, right?"
"What? No, what the fuck do you think I'm chewing?"
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Re: NEW RP

Postby MisterMagic on Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:50 am

david dropped from the roof of the diner, flicking away his ciggarette. "told ya he wouldn't talk" he glared at him, watching the blood seep from his knee. "if he doesn't talk after you bst his other knee, i want to defibrelate him. a pulse of electricity ran through his arms, visibly moving into his hands.
buying a planet is so difficult these days
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Glee on Sat Jan 03, 2009 8:25 am

"Where have you been?" Kiri asked, slightly annoyed. "I've been tailing this guy for hours!" Not caring to wait for an answer, Kiri picked up the man again and slammed him into the opposite wall of the alley. "So, what do you want to tell us?" Kiri questioned, beaming him an angry look.

"Go eat a dick..." He spat out.

"Wrong answer!" Kiri dropped him on the ground a put a barrel to his head, "I'm not playing around anymore, last chance to sing."
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum"
"...And you're all out of gum, right?"
"What? No, what the fuck do you think I'm chewing?"
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Gilnar on Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:05 pm

When that bizzare silhouette appeared in end of alley, it seemed like sun was darkend by cold, black cloud. Suddenly, wind blew and voice, like shrieking from the grave, said: "Hey, what's this?"
There he was, with fluttering coat and burning eyes, grey finger pointed like that sharp end of sabre. "Is there some... indiscretion going on?!"
Sysl krysu nenahradí!
Squirl can't replace rat!
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Glee on Sat Jan 03, 2009 7:57 pm

He sang, he finally spilled the beans. "Alright! Alright! They're holding out by the river!" He seethed through his teeth, "T-take a left on main street and head for the bridge... they use the bar there as one of their base of operations..." Just then a man stepped into the alleyway.

"Is there some... indiscretion going on?!" He yelled over, obviously hearing the gun shots. Kiri dropped Jack and walked towards the new comer, trying to regain her innocent image, being especially graceful in her steps. She, in her absentmindedness accidentally tripped over a garbage can and gave up looking innocent.

"He's a marked man, almost nothing's illegal with him." Kiri flatly told him. She passed the man up, walking briskly, she reached the exit of the alleyway and turned towards them again. "Let's go, David, we've got some roaches to exterminate." Kiri left them, and went to a payphone to contact her mission coordinator.
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum"
"...And you're all out of gum, right?"
"What? No, what the fuck do you think I'm chewing?"
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Dr3wdub on Sun Jan 04, 2009 1:32 am

A bus was casually driving down the highway. From the outside it appeared to be a perfectly normal scene, but if you were to look inside you would see that in truth, it was a completely different story.

"Put everything of value in the bag and maybe some of you will go home today, got it?" one bandit said brandishing his gun to make sure that they all had an understanding. One of his friends-he seemed to be the muscle of the group went around with the bag. "Yes that means wedding rings, lockets, that picture of your wife, if its got any value to you we want it."
Another bandit who was holding a gun to the bus driver's head called to the first "Hey, bout 10 miles to the meeting point, Vinnie."
"Good and keep that gun down, we dont want any cops-"
"Hey Vinnie, heh, check this guy out" called a forth bandit from the back of the bus,"a hobo mushroom." the bandit poked at the hobo with his gun,"Hey wake up and give me whatevers in that bag." no response "I said..." he raised his gun in the air "WAKE UP!!!" If you blinked you would've missed it. The instant he hit Psymon over the head and he was jerked out of his sleep, Psymon's hand was on his blade, and before the bandit knew what was happening, he was in two halfs.

"Who? What?" Psymon looked around, fully alert, until his eyes finally locked on the bandit standing in front of him. "Oh..uhh...sorry?" The top part of the bandit's body fell to the ground and the bottom half followed shortly after. Psymon looked around at the now silent bus and the blank stares that he was getting from the passengers and the even the bandits. "Sorry ,reflex."
Last edited by Dr3wdub on Sun Jan 04, 2009 4:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Oooh sarcasm, thats original."
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Gilnar on Sun Jan 04, 2009 2:08 am

***uh oh, bus... :D***
Once Maurice realized the man is OK, besides wet pants, he turned back and left the alley. Some new mercenary organization was hiring all sorts of losers and this could be Maurice's chance to beat even more bad people. He read an ad telling that hiring office is located somewhere near the bridge, so it was just a few blocks away. He cracked through his fingers. "Let's go spread good."
Sysl krysu nenahradí!
Squirl can't replace rat!
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Glee on Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:33 am

"Hello?" Replied a ragged voice.

"Hey Jim, was it? We're about to go bag some pretty hefty marks, where can I pick up the guns I've ordered?" Kiri leaned against the wall.

"Uhhh... hold on." The sound of rustling could be heard in the background. Finally after about a couple minutes, he picked the phone back up. "We've got the order being delivered as I speak. As in, the delivery truck is right here. You know where the office is, so come by when you can." Kiri smiled at their fortune. She turned to David who was walking out of the alley after her.

"Hey David, you think you can handle a minigun?" Kiri laughed a little.
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum"
"...And you're all out of gum, right?"
"What? No, what the fuck do you think I'm chewing?"
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Gilnar on Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:22 pm

After twelve minutes and thirty-eight seconds of fast walk, Maurice reached Green Forest Corps' hiring office. Founded obviously in old drug-store, among posters of horny girls with machineguns, one or two anti-cold or laxative advertisments still could be seen.
Maurice smiled and entered. Behind counter was sitting a man around forty, with black hair and broad shoulders. Maurice could see his UZI laying right at his hand-next to coffee and PC mouse. "Whadda ya' wan', lad?" he growled at Maurice. "Job," replied Maurice and stood closer to counter. "I've been fighting forces of evil on my own for twenty-five years, two months, three days and fifteen hours, so I feel pretty fit for this kind of job." Maurice gripped his lapels and waited for answer, sure outright promoting him to captain with command of thirty demon-slayers and personal combat helicopter. "Hmph." sniffed the man and looked into Maurice's eyes. "And what have you accomplished? How many demons have you slain?" This pretty much took wind off Maurice's sheets, as they say in his ancestors' landlocked homeland, so he just stuttered: "Uh... well... I've beaten shit out of many bad people and, um... once I killed a lesser class demon..." Of course, Maurice wasn't confused enough to admit it was with help of twenty other miners. "OK," muttered the man and leaned back on his chair. "Any special abilities? Are you magician, or SOL user?" "I'm forty years dead." smiled Maurice.
Sysl krysu nenahradí!
Squirl can't replace rat!
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Glee on Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:40 pm

((LOL, Maurice DID seem like a guy who'd count dates by the hour :P))

Kiri walked up to the Green Forest office and stepped inside, it wasn't any office that she'd ever seen. She could see remnants of what was once a drug store, with stray advertisements of various cremes and pills lying around. The 'office' was arranged into two sections, the weapon shop behind the pharmacy counter, and a Bounty board with the job opportunity center on the other end. She didn't see anyone manning that gun part of the store, so she walked up to the Job counter. As she approached, she saw two people talking to each other, one of the men being the person she saw earlier.

"And what have you accomplished? How many demons have you slain?" The man behind the counter asked, leaning back in his chair. He had an uzi in one hand and was operating a computer with another. He never let go of the firearm unless he was drinking his coffee, which sat dangerously close to the edge of the counter.

"I've beaten up several criminals, and um... I've killed a lesser class demon before..." The mysterious man answered. The way he trailed off told Kiri that that wasn't the entire story.

"OK," The man behind the counter muttered. "Any special abilities? Are you a magician, or SOL user?" He asked, eying the man suspiciously. It took a minute for the mysterious man to respond.

"I'm forty years dead." He said, finally. The man behind the counter spat out his coffee and almost fell out of his chair. Kiri took the opportunity to butt into the conversation.

"Sounds like a magician to me." She said walking up to the counter next to the dead man. "I'm here to pick up my weapons I ordered." Kiri leaned over the counter, "A guy named Jim said they were here."

"Yeah, he said that someone would come over." The clerk said, still eying the mysterious man. He picked up a cellphone lying near his keyboard and dialed a number. Kiri heard a ringing sound that got louder by the second. She turned around to see Jim casually walking up. Jim pulled out his phone, flipped it up, and then closed it in one motion to end the call.

"Kiri?" He asked, readjusting his glasses.

"Yup!" She replied walking away from the counter. "You got my guns?" She asked back.

"Of course"
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum"
"...And you're all out of gum, right?"
"What? No, what the fuck do you think I'm chewing?"
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Re: NEW RP

Postby SleepyMagus on Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:53 pm

*Yay for Buses!*

Dr3wdub wrote:A bus was casually driving down the highway. From the outside it appeared to be a perfectly normal scene, but if you were to look inside you would see that in truth, it was a completely different story.

"Put everything of value in the bag and maybe some of you will go home today, got it?" one bandit said brandishing his gun to make sure that they all had an understanding. One of his friends-he seemed to be the muscle of the group went around with the bag. "Yes that means wedding rings, lockets, that picture of your wife, if its got any value to you we want it."
Another bandit who was holding a gun to the bus driver's head called to the first "Hey, bout 10 miles to the meeting point, Vinnie."
"Good and keep that gun down, we dont want any cops-"
"Hey Vinnie, heh, check this guy out" called a forth bandit from the back of the bus,"a hobo mushroom." the bandit poked at the hobo with his gun,"Hey wake up and give me whatevers in that bag." no response "I said..." he raised his gun in the air "WAKE UP!!!" If you blinked you would've missed it. The instant he hit Psymon over the head and he was jerked out of his sleep, Psymon's hand was on his blade, and before the bandit knew what was happening, he was in two halfs.

"Who? What?" Psymon looked around, fully alert, until his eyes finally locked on the bandit standing in front of him. "Oh..uhh...sorry?" The top part of the bandit's body fell to the ground and the bottom half followed shortly after. Psymon looked around at the now silent bus and the blank stares that he was getting from the passengers and the even the bandits. "Sorry ,reflex."


Suddenly A Demon Dropped out of the Sky In front of Wilfred, picked him Up and held him close, until they were eye to eye. "Hey wake up and give whatevers in the bag." said the demon. "What?" said Wilfred.

Hmmm What a Strange dream he thought. He popped an eye open and watched as what appeared to be bandits harass the other riders. Damn, he thought. and just when i was gonna take a long nap. Suddenly one of the closest bandits appeared to fall in half, splurting blood all over the floor. Well That was a surprise, He thought to himself, studying the mushroom man with sword.

Maybe i can take that long nap after all he thought, tipping his hat over his eyes. They better not wake me a 2nd time he thought, or there will be repercussions.
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Gilnar on Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:01 am

Satysfied by effect of his words, Maurice waited for clerk to assign him. "OK, an' how it comes that ya' re dead an' still walkin', huh?" "Because I'm bloody wonder of the universe." frowned Maurice. "I was revived by power of soul and lightning and altough I can't do any of those shiny-sparky-kaboom tricks, I'm pretty much strudy, if you know what I mean." "A'ight." sighed the man. "You'll be assigned to regula' patrollin'... let's see... nea' da bridgieee... 'kay with ya', Mr. Wonda'?" "Sure thing, mister," replied Maurice and showed his twenty yellow teeth in little creepy smile. "But I will be in, you may know, need of a weapon." "Yeah. Go after Jim in the other room, after we fill the paperwork and our other operatives get what they want, OK?"
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Glee on Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:28 pm

"hmm..." Kiri grunted as Jim presented the weapons to her. She immediately picked up the one that caught her eye almost immediately, a mean-looking assault rifle that was a lot lighter than it looked. Custom decals of black and red flowers were painted all over the gun.

"Nice choice, I might add. When I was told to look weapons for you, I knew this one would catch your eye." Jim told her as he grabbed it out of her hands. "I like to think of my self as an artist really, spent all night fixing this thing up for you." Kiri watched as he started to pull the gun apart. "After checking the form you filled out, I realized that the gun you ordered was way too heavy for someone like you..." He trailed off, realizing what he just insinuated.

"You assume that I can't carry something heavy because I'm a girl?" Kiri said, shooting him a dirty look.

"No! No! I just assumed that you'd appreciate me reducing it's weight! That's all..." He pointed at the back end of the gun, now detached from the rest of it. "I've replaced most of the nonessential parts with lighter materials, you'll see the difference between this and that stupid catalog that they have you look through." Jim snapped the pieces back together and walked towards the table. "That thing's too impersonal, there is nothing more awesome than using a weapon made just for you. That's my philosophy, at least." Jim tossed it back to her.

"...And what if I don't like it?" Kiri asked, inspecting the gun further. It really was light.

"You know how to pick them," He said, "It's top of the line, those MS 300s pack a really big punch... If you don't want it, just pick something else from the table and take it to Gale." Jim walked out of the room with a wrench in hand.
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum"
"...And you're all out of gum, right?"
"What? No, what the fuck do you think I'm chewing?"
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Dr3wdub on Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:24 pm

Psymon broke the silence "Dont suppose we could talk this ou-?"

"YOU GONNA DIE MUTHA FUCKA!!!" Vinnie screamed. His words were folowed by a barrage of bullets in Psymons general direction. Psymon immediately ducked behind the seat for cover, pulled out a few small pipes from his bag, and shoved them down his throat. A couple seconds later he felt the metalhit his stomach and started to work his SOL on it. Suddenly, the bullets stopped flying. "If you're not dead come out so we can shoot you!"

"Yeah, that'll work."

"Shut up and reload, asshole."

As soon as Psymon heard the word 'reload', he jumped out and spit out a spike made from the ingested pipes. He grabbed it and let it fly right into Vinnie's right eye. He then spit out another spike and threw it in the barrel of the second bandit's gun. Not realizing that his gunb had been sabotoged, the second bandit fired causing the gun to backfire. Psymon pulled one of the larger scraps of metal out of his bag and charged at the remaining two bandits.
"Oooh sarcasm, thats original."
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Re: NEW RP

Postby MisterMagic on Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:32 pm

david scanned over the table, looking for something that might spark his interest. his eyes came to an assault rifle panted tan and black. attached was a long barrel, silencer and an acog scope. a sparkle came to his eye as he picked the weapon up. "be this the saber multi-purpose infantry weapon. the assault rifle with the capabilities of switching to a sniper rifle. the one that fires ak rounds?" he checked the scope, seeing if it was lined up correctly. he grinned a wide splayed grin, his forked tongue darting in and out excitedly. "i'll take it!"
buying a planet is so difficult these days
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Glee on Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:59 pm

MisterMagic wrote:david scanned over the table, looking for something that might spark his interest. his eyes came to an assault rifle panted tan and black. attached was a long barrel, silencer and an acog scope. a sparkle came to his eye as he picked the weapon up. "be this the saber multi-purpose infantry weapon. the assault rifle with the capabilities of switching to a sniper rifle. the one that fires ak rounds?" he checked the scope, seeing if it was lined up correctly. he grinned a wide splayed grin, his forked tongue darting in and out excitedly. "i'll take it!"


"Lets go break these in." Kiri said rather deviously. She picked up an ample amount of ammo and brought it up to the counter. Jim was waiting there trying to pretend that he wasn't waiting for them. "No need to wrap this up" She giggled. He was beaming at the fact that she picked the weapon he suggested.

"Remember, you guys need to make this up in bounties within the month" He warned, entering the info into his computer. After the guns got registered on the computer, Kiri set out for their mark.

"Come on David, lets fill these guys full of lead."
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum"
"...And you're all out of gum, right?"
"What? No, what the fuck do you think I'm chewing?"
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Re: NEW RP

Postby MisterMagic on Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:05 pm

david pulled back on the cocking handle of the rifle, his pockets filled with six clips of 30 rounds and a smaller 15 round clip already loaded. "mind if i do a little sniper work before we charge in?"
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Re: NEW RP

Postby Glee on Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:11 pm

MisterMagic wrote:david pulled back on the cocking handle of the rifle, his pockets filled with six clips of 30 rounds and a smaller 15 round clip already loaded. "mind if i do a little sniper work before we charge in?"


"Go ahead" Kiri said, loading her rifle. They were nearing the bar and people could be seen through the window.
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum"
"...And you're all out of gum, right?"
"What? No, what the fuck do you think I'm chewing?"
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