While I find the comic to suck (no offense, I just dislike everything it stands for), I applaud your stance, being able to take criticism like a mature person, instead of getting angry and flaming whoever tries to tell you how to improve.
If you keep on like that, you will probably keep getting better.
Iguana wrote:Your comic represents everything that's completely wrong with the Internet and anime fans, but it's nice to see that you're being mature about it and actually accepting criticism. I can't really comment on the subject matter; I've always despised schoolgirl slice of life series, and your writing doesn't really help change my mind when it comes to this niche genre. No offense, but it's the kind of stuff that's obviously written by someone who's never experienced an intimate relationship outside of Japanese children's cartoons and fanfiction.
One more tip: Stop using emoticons and explaining a character's every single action (*blush*, *nod*, etc). It's incredibly annoying, and if you think you need all that to get your message across, maybe you need to improve your drawing skills before attempting comics. Lastly, and I know you've been getting this a lot, the art style you're trying to emulate is an extremely overdone and derivative one. You're basically imitating mass-produced, completely soulless pieces of animation that only serve to give Japanese animation as a whole a bad name. It's not quite my cup of tea, but you should definitely try reading a few chapters of Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō as an example of a well done slice of life series.
And no, I'm still not Josh Lesnick.
Vomorivons wrote:1. There may be some books you can get that discuss proportions - Look at libraries and bookstores and see if they discuss perception and depth in artwork - Of course it is also good to keep drawing and practicing
2. A good way to make it less generic is think about the typical boys/girls anime and manga style. Think about what you like and what you do not. Then read other comics; you could try comics aimed at adults (not the same thing as pornographic comics, though) and more "underground" and "avant-garde" Japanese comics. Also look at comics from other countries; you could try the United States, Belgium, Brazil, etc. Think about what style, techniques, and emotions you like and which ones you do not. You could also try drawing and or modifying different styles and see how they work.
3. Yeah, I strongly suggest going left-to-right; it works best with native English comics. Remember that even the anime-inspired Western-produced works use left-to-right. However you can adopt other aspects of Japanese comics that are and can be ported to Japanese-inspired works, such as the page layouts and whole-page panels.
4. The first thing is that you need to firmly decide how the world of your comic differs from real life. When Gilbert and Sullivan made The Mikado he did not give his Japanese characters actual Japanese names. Instead he gave them names which sounded like British "baby-talk." It made the subjects seem like children of the emperor, the Mikado. You can read more about that here: http://www.ppt.org/documents/SG2901TheMikado.pdf - With that in mind, you can find a Japanese person who can suggest irregular names to you; the names would be formed with kanji in a similar manner as a real name, but the kanji themselves are unusual for a Japanese name and have peculiar meanings. With that you can also aim to produce a similar effect in English; that may be difficult but with the internet you could find people who can help you with that
5. You are welcome
6. It may be a good idea to experiment with shading - See what works and what does not. There are many scales of gray, so you have a lot of ideas and choices.
7. You could find a person to be a writer while you focus on the art; many Japanese comic books are produced in that manner; i.e. Death Note, Hikaru no Go. Also, regarding inside jokes the general rule is that when writing humor try to at least make it understood by a fairly large audience, whether it is a subculture or a population in general. You could try making a separate section with older/"rejected"/outdated comics to show people what you previously made.
8. Regarding the layout and presentation of the comic, I already answered about the actual page order. Aside from that try to control the size of the dialog balloons so they do not take up too much space. Try to arrange the dialog balloons and manage the empty and filled spaces to achieve an easy-to-read, easy-to-see work.
Also I found this blog which contains tips on how to make a very presentable comic regarding dialog baloons, fonts, etc: http://webcomictriage.blogspot.com/ - This will help make your comic more presentable
EDIT: Something I forgot - I believe that generally Japanese university students do not wear uniforms.
avelanch wrote:I just wanted to jump in here and note that even though you say you are meaning to do the strips right to left style, you tend to flip it back and forth, so its really the inconsistency thats makes it difficult. Like the infamous "i have boobies one", correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure it is meant to be read left to right while the majority of your comicsdo not. You should really stick to one style or the other. If you're going to do it eastern manga style then make sure its all in that style. If your gonna go it western "manga" style then keep with that. the Western "manga" style would be my preferred approach, since the eastern manga style is counter culture intuitive. Since you're readers are going to be English speaking usually you want to stick to their reading norms. If you are writing it for the Japanese population then right to left would be the correct method, but, again, thats really your choice.
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