Good quotes

[Tom the Fanboy]

"Everything makes sense if you know how to understand it."

"Fool! Penguins do not fly in straight lines!"

Both by me on separate occasions. Also, a quote I made after seeing the second Pirates of the Carribean movie,

"Agh! They just gave Szass Tam the Wand of Orcus!" referring to the EIC getting the heart of D Jones as well as an event I orchestrated in a D&D game that year.

[Al Ray]

One of my favorite sayings, which may or may not be orginal to me and in response, "I am perfectly sane, it is the world that is insane."

[SoItBegins]

"The ending has not yet been written."
--Atrus

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
--Smithy

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
--The Spanish Inquisition

"I am matter... I am antimatter... I can see your past... I can see your future... I have consumed time... And I will consume YOU!!"
--Culex, Dark Knight of Vanda

...and,

Mr. Henslowe: "Strangely enough, it all turns out well."
Mr. Fennyman: "How will it?"
Mr. Henslowe: "I don't know. It's a mystery."
--Shakespeare In Love

[Punstarr]

A few of my favorite Steven Wright Quotes:

"If God dropped acid, would he see people?"

"I spilled spot remover on my dog... now he's gone"

"I parked my car in a towaway zone and when I came back the entire area was gone"

"If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?"

"You know that feeling you get when you're tilted back on two legs of a chair so you're almost falling and you lean back so far that you almost fall but just at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time"

"I know when I'm going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration date on it"

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Famous last words in D&D :

"Man! Even for a DRAGON you're ugly!"

[Asenath83]

From my first D&D session

Our hair-obsessed dwarven barbarian: "I always have a brush on me!"
My gnome bard, who sports dreadlocks: "A brush? Wouldn't know what I'd need that for!"
Snarky elven druid: "You know that your group is dysfunctional if the barbarian has to tell the bard how to groom herself."

[Cloud213]

This is from a D&D site. Someone was in a Eberron campaign and they were fighting a mutant human. The warforged was in the doorway and the rogue tripped him. He fell on him and he weighed over 200 pounds and they did 20d6 damage and they were all first level.

[Punstarr]

This is from a D&D site. Someone was in a Eberron campaign and they were fighting a mutant human. The warforged was in the doorway and the rogue tripped him. He fell on him and he weighed over 200 pounds and they did 20d6 damage and they were all first level.

Uh... so someone falling less than 2 feet on top of someone deals 1d6 per 10 pounds? Where are the rules for this? The average adult human male weighs around 200 pounds. Was there ever an actual rule for this? If there was, the writer needs to be beaten.

Otherwise I'm making a 600 pound out of shape guy who falls on his foes in combat for 60D6.

[Cloud213]

I might have got it wrong.

[Punstarr]

No worries.

Happy Holidays.

[Tom the Fanboy]

"Rar, I am the dread zombie barn!"
-Our Exalted group executing a very bizarre (but successful) plan to sneak past guard zombies.

[Kurrel]

Ork runner having been cornered in the lavatory (of all places to run) after a run went bad. He's backed against the door as they start hammering and the player suddenly yells, as his character,
"I'm BUSY!"

or, same guy,

"I'm confused, if I kill a guy in the forest after he heard a tree fall, is it still fallen." Single-handedly killing an entire session.

[Narf the Mouse]

...I need to run an orc barbarian who talks in the most eloquint manner, such that it is only after perusal of his statements that you realise he is a complete and utter moron.

[FirstAidKit]

I think I went to undergrad with some people who fit that description.

[Pookajoe]

"Only an idiot fights a war on two fronts. Only the heir to the throne of the kingdom of idiots would fight a war on twelve fronts."

--Londo Mollari, Babylon 5.

"Oh, Londo, you are a fool. You walk away from the greatest power I have even seen, and now you expect me to do the same. They are the key to my eventual rise to the throne. Why would I abandon them?"

"Because I have asked you. And because your loyalty to our people should be greater than your ambition. And because I have poisoned your drink."

-- Lord Refa and Londo in Babylon 5:"Ceremonies of Light and Dark"

[Narf the Mouse]

I like the 'little wave' speech.

[Tom the Fanboy]

I like the 'little wave' speech.

Oh gods yes! That was what made Vir my favorite character!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=S0n2vurSBIQ

I'm also fond of Londo's "Ahhh! Mr. Morden how good to see you. You will want to stand very still."

[Narf the Mouse]

I've been trying to come up with a saying about powerfull people, irrelevant to a situation, trying to make themselves relevant, but I think that explains it well enough.

[Susan Calvin]

"I take on my shoes and run out!"
"Do you have the Tie Knots skill?"
"Nope. Well... I run out with my shoes untied, then!"

From a session with a rather strange Swedish RPG.

[Aldagrim]

"I do not believe in ubermenschen, but I see plenty of evidence of untermenschen." - The Avatar of War (yes, a friend of mine)

Me-Who threw my body?
My Sister-It was all I had!
(see the Today's Comic thread for explanation)

[Narf the Mouse]

I got one like that, though. "Don't get in the way of the people who know what they are doing."