Huuungry!

[NakedElf]

So is this basically some new form of wankery where people brag about how craptastic their diets are and how quickly they're going to die of malnutrition?

[McDuffies]

It's not a thread about some large society problems, that's for sure.

[TheSuburbanLetdown]

I actually know how to eat properly and cook various things. How's that for wankery?

[[AlmightyPyro]]

Any 5 star gourmet food you want:

what you need: A slave that's a 5 star gourmet chef.

to make: Whip the slave until your food is made.

tip: get a food tester because slaves might try to poison you.

[Ekolter]

AP got the idea. One up on that one -

Get a SO.
Cook really bad for SO in the first few months of dating.

Have SO doing the cooking from there on out = priceless.

[Sput]

I like making rigatoni.


a box of Penne noodles
two bags of grated cheese, a little under 20oz total. i use colby and monterey jack usually, with sharp chedder.
two bottles of pasta sauce, i like garlic and herbs or something. i never use the whole two, generally bout one and a half.

boil the noodles, make them al dente. which means, according to kirb, just slightly undercooked? Whatever. XD

find a huge ass pan that holds the pasta. i usually have to use 2. put a layer of sauce on the bottom (to prevent sticking, lawl.) and just make layers of pasta, cheese, and sauce. i sometimes cook some beef patties and chop them into tiny bits so it's not just starch and cheese hahaha.


uhh. put it in the oven, cover if you want. if you don't cover, i suggest a topping of sauce, not cheese. Then like an hour in put some cheese on, that way you don't have ucky burn crap.


note that i personally use all organic ingredients, but that's not really necessary at all. In the end, i have rigatoni that is NOTHING LIKE RIGATONI, woo.



...wait i was supposed to be a smartass? oh well.

[NakedElf]

AP got the idea. One up on that one -

Get a SO.
Cook really bad for SO in the first few months of dating.

Have SO doing the cooking from there on out = priceless. 8-)

Or if they can't cook, take you to nice restaurants. ^_^

[RobertBlake]

The only thing I can really describe is my breakfast, which is done in the English tradition of bacon (I use turkey bacon), baked beans, toast, and tea (with milk). Sometimes I'll prepare some scrambled egg whites, and on some mornings I don't feel like cooking so I just have cereal and juice.

[Cici]

I get hungry too soon after eating cereal...

so don't eating too much.... ... ...

[Rkolter]

AP got the idea. One up on that one -

Get a SO.
Cook really bad for SO in the first few months of dating.

Have SO doing the cooking from there on out = priceless.

*shakes fist*

Ryan's "Slap my Ass and Call me Sally" Chili:

2lbs ground lean beef
1lb white onion
2 bunches of green onions
1lb assorted chilis (choose for flavor and heat)
2 16oz cans of tomato sauce
Chili powder, onion powder, garlic powder, salt


Brown beef and drain all excess fat. Season with seasonings listed above to taste.

Finely chop onion
Finely chop green onion
Finely chop chilis

Add sauce, beef, and all finely chopped stuff to pot.

Turn to low heat and cover. Simmer for 4 hours.

For extra heat, add hot sauce of choice. I prefer 2-4cc of Satan's Blood (800,000 scovilles per cc = 1.6m to 3.2m scovilles). May use .25 milligram of pure capcasin if you prefer (15m scovilles per milligram = 3.75m scovilles for .25 milligrams)

[Killbert-Robby]

Onion and garlic powder, that's what my chili's been missing...

[Tellurider]

Onion and garlic powder, that's what my chili's been missing...

Also peyote.

Nothing beats hallucinogenic food.

Tortured Artist Special:
1 bottle Absinthe
1 shot glass

Fill glass with Absinthe. Drink. Repeat until inspiration strikes.

[Mr.GtF]

Humble Pie

a) 1 x Pride
b) Swallow.

Add bacon bits or jam to taste.

[McDuffies]

Onion and garlic powder, that's what my chili's been missing...

Also peyote.

Nothing beats hallucinogenic food.

Tortured Artist Special:
1 bottle Absinthe
1 shot glass

Fill glass with Absinthe. Drink. Repeat until inspiration strikes.

Then, most likely, die from alcohol poisoning.

[Dr Legostar]

Onion and garlic powder, that's what my chili's been missing...

Also peyote.

Nothing beats hallucinogenic food.

Tortured Artist Special:
1 bottle Absinthe
1 shot glass

Fill glass with Absinthe. Drink. Repeat until inspiration strikes.

no no, with absinthe don't you have to pour it over a cube of sugar through a special spoon?



Also, one of my favorite and simple meals.

Pork chops and mashed potatos.

Marinate pork chops in olive oil, apple cider vinegar, balsamic vinegar, a little red wine, salt and pepper. Grill chops.

Peel and slice potatos, put in pot of water, add salt liberally, cook until potatos are give no resistance to a fork, drain water, add pressed garlic, mash, add milk, mash, add butter, mix with spoon, serve.

Also, add a salad of romaine lettuce drowned in vinegar and a little oil.

[TheSuburbanLetdown]

I had absinthe for breakfast with a spoonful of flaming sugar once. Good times.

[Killbert-Robby]

I made the finest ass chili today. I love spicy food, but eating this stuff made me sweat, swear and burn. It was glorious.

[Rkolter]

Ryan's Damn Fine Cookout Corn on the Cobb:

Take a fresh ear of corn, roll in butter, roll in salt, wrap tightly in aluminum foil and crush ends. Put at 200-300 degrees, rotating regularly for two hours. "Worry" it - rotate often for best effect.

Corn should be slightly browned and kernels should have seperated slightly from each other. Best if grilled, but can be done in oven.

[Dr Legostar]

I made the finest ass chili today. I love spicy food, but eating this stuff made me sweat, swear and burn. It was glorious.

ass chili does not sound appetizing.

[TheSuburbanLetdown]

Ass meats are the best kind. Lotsa juice.