Harry Potter Spoilers! ZOMG!

Joel Fagin · Post by **Joel Fagin** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 7:48 pm

Hermione accidentally drinks a permanent polyjuice potion so as to set up the change of actress when Emma Watson leaves the cast of the movies.

- Joel Fagin

Dr Legostar · Post by **Dr Legostar** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:00 pm

Joel Fagin wrote:Hermione accidentally drinks a permanent polyjuice potion so as to set up the change of actress when Emma Watson leaves the cast of the movies.

- Joel Fagin

and then they cast some chick with giant breasts.

JTorch · Post by **JTorch** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:15 pm

And chocolate kisses for nipples.

Killbert-Robby · Post by **Killbert-Robby** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 2:08 am

legostargalactica wrote:
Joel Fagin wrote:Hermione accidentally drinks a permanent polyjuice potion so as to set up the change of actress when Emma Watson leaves the cast of the movies.

- Joel Fagin
and then they cast some chick with giant breasts.

Oooh you haven't heard about the poster scandal? In some poster they photoshopped her breasts to make em bigger, and all these mums were up in a riot.

Tellurider · Post by **Tellurider** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 3:42 am

Killbert-Robby wrote:
legostargalactica wrote:
Joel Fagin wrote:Hermione accidentally drinks a permanent polyjuice potion so as to set up the change of actress when Emma Watson leaves the cast of the movies.

- Joel Fagin
and then they cast some chick with giant breasts.
Oooh you haven't heard about the poster scandal? In some poster they photoshopped her breasts to make em bigger, and all these mums were up in a riot.

That's because Hermione gets hit with an engorgement charm or whatever it's called, causing her boobs to swell up.

She then says "hell with studying!" and goes off to find a sugar daddy.

Dr Legostar · Post by **Dr Legostar** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 4:57 am

Killbert-Robby wrote:
legostargalactica wrote:
Joel Fagin wrote:Hermione accidentally drinks a permanent polyjuice potion so as to set up the change of actress when Emma Watson leaves the cast of the movies.

- Joel Fagin
and then they cast some chick with giant breasts.
Oooh you haven't heard about the poster scandal? In some poster they photoshopped her breasts to make em bigger, and all these mums were up in a riot.

dude, this is the internet, you can't say that and not post a link.

Killbert-Robby · Post by **Killbert-Robby** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 5:04 am

legostargalactica wrote:
Killbert-Robby wrote:
legostargalactica wrote: and then they cast some chick with giant breasts.
Oooh you haven't heard about the poster scandal? In some poster they photoshopped her breasts to make em bigger, and all these mums were up in a riot.
dude, this is the internet, you can't say that and not post a link.

I shall go and find!

*edit*

The makers of the Harry Potter films are at the centre of a row after a poster of teenage star Emma Watson was electronically enhanced.
In a shot promoting the latest instalment in the series for Imax 3D cinemas, a profile of the 17-year-old actress, who plays Hermione Granger, appeared to have been made curvier.
Yet in other publicity for Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, the same shot has been used unaltered.

Fans of the films claim the computer trickery "cheapens" the actress and have expressed disgust that it has been used when her character is supposed to be just 15. They have also complained about a Swedish poster which features Miss Watson in a similar pose with an enhanced bust.
Melissa Anelli, who edits a website devoted to the Potter stories, which chart the adventures of a boy wizard, said hundreds of fans had posted angry messages.
"Emma Watson is playing a 15-year-old girl, and she herself is under 18," she said.
"I get the full heebie jeebies thinking about the person who sat there thinking,
"Now, if we cinch her waist a bit, and inflate her bust a bit, and give her some dramatic lighting and more blonde hair, this would be a much better picture."
It is unlikely that Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling would approve of the bust enhancement.
None of her representatives could be reached, but Miss Rowling, who has two daughters, has in the past criticised celebrity magazines for their obsession with women's body shapes.
Warner Bros said the enhanced image had not been approved:
"This is not an official poster. Unfortunately this image was accidentally posted on the Imax website. The mistake was promptly rectified and the image taken down."

Noise Monkey · Post by **Noise Monkey** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 5:27 am

Voldemort wonders aloud why he can't "quit" Harry, then leaves England entirely, only to be beaten to death by a bunch of rednecks in Wyoming.

Yeahduff · Post by **Yeahduff** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 6:54 am

The first death will happen on page five, when Harry kills Ron simply because he's tired of looking at him. The second is when the entire cast hunts down Edward Norton for his involvement in The Illusionist.

TheSuburbanLetdown · Post by **TheSuburbanLetdown** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:14 am

Harry becomes a chav and happy-slaps McGonagall. He gets expelled and is then shot out of a canon.

Tellurider · Post by **Tellurider** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:28 am

The muggles find out about wizards, panic, and slaughter them all using silly muggle weapons like heat-seeking missiles and uzis.

Dudley dances on Harry's grave.

Dr Legostar · Post by **Dr Legostar** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:29 am

Killbert-Robby wrote:
Melissa Anelli, who edits a website devoted to the Potter stories, which chart the adventures of a boy wizard, said hundreds of fans had posted angry messages.
"Emma Watson is playing a 15-year-old girl, and she herself is under 18," she said.
"I get the full heebie jeebies thinking about the person who sat there thinking,
"Now, if we cinch her waist a bit, and inflate her bust a bit, and give her some dramatic lighting and more blonde hair, this would be a much better picture."

incidentally, in the next few movies Hermione will be played by Jessica Alba with that fake blond hair she had in Fantastic Four.

Noise Monkey · Post by **Noise Monkey** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:33 am

and no recognizable accent.

Yeahduff · Post by **Yeahduff** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:35 am

After graduation Harry quickly learns the impracticality of a career in wizardry and ends up working in a confectionary factory. Every few months he does a card trick or two at family parties, but that's it.

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:38 am

I never thought Voldemort was evil enough.

Voldemort, having read Harry's mind, captures Ginny Weasley (whom Harry has a deep crush on), and, polymorphed into Harry, starts cutting her apart with a pair of scissors, broadcasting the images to Harry in dreams. He let's Harry stop him and flees, but Ginny, despite being healed by magic, never trusts Harry again.

Harry, distraught at the heartbreak, tries to hunt down Voldemort with renewed vigor. Voldemort polymorphs into Dumbledore, casts some magic to make him all glow-y and ghost-y, and tells Harry that Ron is really Voldemort. He polymorphs into Ron, steals Harry's owl, and kills it, then broadcasts that dream into Harry's brain.

Continue chapter after chapter until by the final chapter, Harry is a raving lunatic. Then, Voldemort charms a mirror and makes Harry think that all along Voldemort is just a part of who he is. Harry commits suicide.

Voldemort throws a party.

Noise Monkey · Post by **Noise Monkey** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:45 am

Harry meets a Ms. Rowling, dumps Ginny and marries her.

They have a happy life together and forget all about Voldemort.

Dr Legostar · Post by **Dr Legostar** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:45 am

rkolter wrote:I never thought Voldemort was evil enough.

Voldemort, having read Harry's mind, captures Ginny Weasley (whom Harry has a deep crush on), and, polymorphed into Harry, starts cutting her apart with a pair of scissors, broadcasting the images to Harry in dreams. He let's Harry stop him and flees, but Ginny, despite being healed by magic, never trusts Harry again.

Harry, distraught at the heartbreak, tries to hunt down Voldemort with renewed vigor. Voldemort polymorphs into Dumbledore, casts some magic to make him all glow-y and ghost-y, and tells Harry that Ron is really Voldemort. He polymorphs into Ron, steals Harry's owl, and kills it, then broadcasts that dream into Harry's brain.

Continue chapter after chapter until by the final chapter, Harry is a raving lunatic. Then, Voldemort charms a mirror and makes Harry think that all along Voldemort is just a part of who he is. Harry commits suicide.

Voldemort throws a party.

is there cake at the party?

Noise Monkey · Post by **Noise Monkey** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:46 am

legostargalactica wrote:
rkolter wrote:Voldemort throws a party.
is there cake at the party?

and clowns?

Yeahduff · Post by **Yeahduff** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:51 am

Tequila?

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:57 am

Noise Monkey wrote:
legostargalactica wrote:
rkolter wrote:Voldemort throws a party.
is there cake at the party?
and clowns?

Evil clowns, and room temperature carrot cake, but yeah. No tequila. Voldemort prefers beer, now that he doesn't have to uphold his image.