Just don't go there...like they did.

Dracomax · Post by **Dracomax** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 7:49 am

to be fair, he was irradiated by injecting radioactive fluid into his blood in order to defeat morlun the first time.

but yeah, weak.

and Ironically, I would have just not cared if it hadn't been pointed out to me again here.

shoot! your load...

The Neko · Post by **The Neko** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 7:50 am

I'm just staring at my monitor in disbelief that someone actually entertained the idea that this was a good idea for a plot twist, especially in the print world. I mean, the web is full of sexually dysfunctional freaks because there's no editor but... what the fuck, man?

Glarryg · Post by **Glarryg** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 8:09 am

LAO wrote:What they dont mention is that MJ's cancer was in her rectum.

Well done.

I'm guessing you already passed over the more pedestrian "bone cancer" joke...

Glarryg

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 8:41 am

If they wanted to go this route, all the times they kissed would have been more than enough - no need for radioactive sperm. Saliva would have done. Or again, the now radioactive water vapor contained in his breath. Or sweat - just sharing a bed or a couch or chairs would have done. For a lethal dose, their entire home would have been a superfund.

Why oh why the radioactive semen?

Dracomax · Post by **Dracomax** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 8:45 am

to make fun of frank millar.
isn't it obvious?

TheSuburbanLetdown · Post by **TheSuburbanLetdown** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 8:52 am

Because sex sells, regardless of how dumb it is.

Oh my, how do he shot web.

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:09 am

theSuburbanLetdown wrote:Oh my, how do he shot web.

Apparently, out of his penis.

TheSuburbanLetdown · Post by **TheSuburbanLetdown** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:10 am

rkolter wrote:
theSuburbanLetdown wrote:Oh my, how do he shot web.
Apparently, out of his penis.

Makes web-slinging quite a sight to behold.

Dracomax · Post by **Dracomax** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:14 am

and painful.

Nervous Spy · Post by **Nervous Spy** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:14 am

And the saddest thing about it all is that Spidey desperately wants to forget...

...but those vicious spammers won't let him.

TheSuburbanLetdown · Post by **TheSuburbanLetdown** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:18 am

Ha!

Where's Spoder Mon when you actually need him?

Nanda · Post by **Nanda** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:21 am

He's...busy...

...fighting crime.

Nyke · Post by **Nyke** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:21 am

I can just see Spider-Man holding to one line of web, furiously masturbating. "Come on! This line won't last forever! Dammit!"

Dracomax · Post by **Dracomax** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:22 am

it would chafe. badly.

and he'd have to be packin lube.. so his hands would be slippery...

Legendary · Post by **Legendary** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:25 am

I don't follow Spider-man, but wasn't there something a few months back where it was revealed that Spidey got his powers from a "totem force" of spiders or something?

Dracomax · Post by **Dracomax** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:31 am

that is where ithe powers come from, yes. However, If you go back to the ezekial stories, it is quite evedent that the radiation played a role that was... unexpected. If I recall right, at the time there was some question as to whether the science gave him his opowers, or if the spider was going to give him the powers anyway, and the radiation got in the way.
/geek

Nanda · Post by **Nanda** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:56 am

dracomax wrote:it would chafe. badly.

and he'd have to be packin lube.. so his hands would be slippery...

Only if he's circumcised... Oh god, why am I even involved in this conversation?!

*flees*

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 10:06 am

What happens when something pulls at the line? I mean, here he is, masturbating and producing web to cover a villain, and then someone grabs the web line and yanks, really hard.

The webbing starts spooling out of his penis, feeling like a thick thread drawn through his urethra, until it YANKS his internal organs, and then snaps.

I think Spidy would be woozy and freaked out.

TheSuburbanLetdown · Post by **TheSuburbanLetdown** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 10:26 am

When someone opens the door, it seems like we're always there to willingly let all the demons out.

Noise Monkey · Post by **Noise Monkey** » Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:14 am

As I am not funny, I'll go for anger.

THEY ALREADY KILLED BETTY BANNER WITH RADIATION FROM THE HULK.

GET A NEW IDEA MARVEL!