I confess

JohnnyTwoEyes · Post by **JohnnyTwoEyes** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 11:29 pm

I confess that I teach Religious Education to Kindergarteners even though I have no faith myself.

I confess that I still think about my ex girlfriend even though I have no feelings for her; I just hate it when people I have known for a long time stop contacting me.

I confess that I have thought about breaking up with my boyfriend because I don't want him to have to go through the shit I will put him through.

I confess that my fear of nothingness is the only thing that has kept me from suicide on numerous occasions.

I confess that I wish for arguments to escalate into violence so I can beat the shit out of people, even though I am rarely argumentive and do my best to be nice to everyone I meet.

I confess that I once told my parents I was going to visit my friends at their college and instead drove down to participate in an orgy that was both my first homosexual experience and quite possibly the worst party I have ever been to.

I confess that I smoked my first cigar to get the taste of semen out of my mouth. But seriously, I think that guy ejaculated pure jackass. It was gross.

I confess that I routinely steal office supplies from teachers' desks when I am using them to teach religious education.

I confess that I can remember almost every rude thing I have ever done and can regret every single one of them to some degree.

I confess that I once got yelled at by a park ranger for trying to catch a goose.

I confess to fighting a goose several years later.

I confess to having a memory so clouded with hallucinations and dreams that I cannot bring myself to confront a neighbor who sexually abused me as a child because I cannot be sure that it actually happened.

I confess to worrying about whether or not these confessions will make people think less of me.

Churba · Post by **Churba** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 1:15 am

I confess that Being forced to take religion class in primary school is what absolutely murdered any chances I had of being a catholic past eight Years old.

I confess that I nearly got suspended for contradicting the religion teachers with what could only be described as the most stunning bouts of reason, logic, and sheer conversational Bastardy that you could ever imagine coming from a twelve year old.

I also confess that every time I have a pint of Guinness, one of my little cousins tells me that I'm going to hell, because I drink alcohol, and calls me a liar whenever I tell her that Jesus drank wine, and especially when I tell her that Jesus was Both Jewish and a dark skinned middle eastern man, probably clean shaven. Little Childeren Speaking with absolute conviction about Religion freaks me right the fuck out.

...in a bar (or similar hovel)...

I confess that I had an epiphany last night, where I looked around the room and seriously thought to myself, "I am surrounded by lunatics... and it's not the good kind of lunacy." Then I ordered another vodka to try and forget what I had just realized.

I confess that my bar is not such a hovel - Promise!

I also confess that I have that epiphany every night I'm at work, but I unfortunately have the disadvantage of not being able to drink my way out of the realisation.

Resident /B/tard · Post by **Resident /B/tard** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 1:31 am

Round II:

I confess to stirring up drama just because I could.

I confess that I will beat the hell out of the next person to call me the wrong fucking name. If my enemies can get it right, why the fuck can my family not get it right?

I confess that I'm going to be doing a job this summer that will not give me any money, but will make me happy, because I can behave badly.

I confess that I flunked my second semester of college because I went to Florida for an ill-advised weekend.

I confess I still fantasize about one of my exes (She's asian, it's alright).

I confess I've been high three times in the past 48 hours.

I confess to the idea that none of you know me outside of this board, thank God.

I confess that, despite being a strong believer in Christianity, I don't go to church, and I don't read my bible. I do, however, collect porn and erotica.

I confess that I have an unhealthy attraction (nay, fetish) for larger women.

P-Frank · Post by **P-Frank** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 3:52 am

I confess that I only smoked because I thought it was cool.

LeftTentacleGreen · Post by **LeftTentacleGreen** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 5:29 am

Churba wrote:I confess that Being forced to take religion class in primary school is what absolutely murdered any chances I had of being a catholic past eight Years old.

I confess that I nearly got suspended for contradicting the religion teachers with what could only be described as the most stunning bouts of reason, logic, and sheer conversational Bastardy that you could ever imagine coming from a twelve year old.

I confess.. I want to know what you said.

I confess attending a catholic high school in Madison, WI that was surprisingly liberal as it taught the values of every other major religion in the world as well as christianity - and they allowed the more demented of us to put Cthulhu on the school ballot during the mock presidential election back in '92.

I confess I voted for Cthulhu in the mock election at a Catholic high school.

I also confess that every time I have a pint of Guinness, one of my little cousins tells me that I'm going to hell, because I drink alcohol, and calls me a liar whenever I tell her that Jesus drank wine, and especially when I tell her that Jesus was Both Jewish and a dark skinned middle eastern man, probably clean shaven. Little Childeren Speaking with absolute conviction about Religion freaks me right the fuck out.

Ha! Too funny. I confess you should tell her about the possibility that Jesus never existed as he did in the bible, mainly because his mythos was derived from several other mythos popular at the time - born of a virgin like Perseus, rose into heaven, body and soul, like Hercules.

Kingofthemorlocks · Post by **Kingofthemorlocks** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 5:49 am

swordsman3003 wrote:I confess that I told a girl I wouldn't go out with her, and my only real reason is she believes in god.

I confess that my first thought upon reading that is, "Wow, Swordsie's a fucking bigot."

"What do I care if my neighbor worships one god or one thousand gods? It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." -- Thomas Jefferson

PopeMac · Post by **PopeMac** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:34 am

I confess to hating everyone, mostly because I work a cash register in a mall.

I confess to being a total nerd, and a bit of a loser.

I confess to being a horrible Catholic in the more traditional sense, but a good Catholic in that I care more about what the Bible means than about what it actually says. That book was never meant to be taken literally.

I confess to posting this when I should be paying attention to my Physics professor.

Sexy_fork · Post by **Sexy_fork** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:16 am

PopeMac wrote:I confess to posting this when I should be paying attention to my Physics professor.

I solved that problem by not going to physics class. or chemistry, mind you. but I was doing chemistry homework, so it evens out.

I confess that I just pigged out on a tootsie roll. yummy, but fat

I also confess that the only excercise I get now is sex. wow, I'm lazy.

Swordsman3003 · Post by **Swordsman3003** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:33 am

I confess that sometimes I don't eat because I think it feels good to be hungry. I know that's not good. But it feels good the same getting your butt slapped raw would feel good...it doesn't have to make sense.

I realize that I probably am I bigot, and that I need to do something about that. It was almost physically painful to read here people professing their faith in christianity...

I confess that the girl I said I didn't want to do anything with has kept bothering me and I don't think I can resist the female allure or whatever its called for much longer. So much for principles. I'm 100% sure she is using me...she said so herself. I don't know what to do. I'm not thinking straight.

WangyJohn · Post by **WangyJohn** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:39 am

I confess I'm also very intollerant towards religious people.

I confess, that whilst I'm a pacifist, the idea of a violent street riot and throwing molotov coctails facinates me.

...and that I enjoy the design of some firearms.

Leeloo · Post by **Leeloo** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:22 am

Lulujayne wrote:I confess that men who say, "I'm a lesbian trapped inside a mans body," generally annoy the feck out of me. Mostly because the majority of the men who I have seen and heard using this statement are in a bar (or similar hovel) and the said man is drooling into his beer and oogling some woman that would never touch him with a ten-foot pole. The said man is usually also obnoxiously hetro.

"Mostly"? How about someone like me? You probably saw the swimsuit pics. When I look in the mirror, most of the time I hate what I see. And I often think about how much easier things would have been if I was born a girl. I play MMORPGs with a female char, and use it as a way of relaxing, because then I don't need to role play - i.e. try to act like a man. But I am still interested in women, not men. I'm 30 years old and still a virgin, because I have no idea about all those things men do to get women interested. Almost all of my attempts end up with becoming friends instead of finding a girlfriend, a friendship that doesn't last long because she knows that I'm interested in something else.

"Lesbian trapped inside a mans body" seems to be a pretty good description. On the other hand, I'm not the kind of person who would actually SAY so in a bar (if you'd ever see me in one), because I'm afraid of the reaction if people found out about my big secret.

Reesa-chan · Post by **Reesa-chan** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:16 pm

I confess that I've shoplifted just to prove to myself that the alarm wouldn't go off if I walked through without paying.

I confess that I've never had an orgasm.

I confess that I think most of the people around me are idiots.

I confess that I have a favorite parent, and that it wouldn't bother me a bit if my father were no longer a part of my life, although I would miss the money and the presents I get from him.

I confess that I don't particularly like myself or the body I live in.

I confess that I haven't been to church in ages, nor do I particularly care to.

I confess that it bothers me how people brainwash kids into believing in God without giving them the opportunity to decide for themselves and that I don't like hearing my little sister spouting all those Christian ideals.

I confess that I despise what Christianity has turned into despite being a Christian myself.

I confess that I have managed to keep an insanely high GPA with little or no effort. I also confess that I feel guilty when people tell me that I deserve scholarships and such because I am a serious slacker and SHOULDN'T have such high grades.

I confess that I don't understand people and I have no clue how to make friends, much less a girlfriend.

I confess that I've deliberately hurt myself. I also confess that I minimize the true extent of my likelihood to do it again when talking to my counselor because I don't want to risk having her report it to someone and me being locked up or something of the sort.

I confess that I take advantage of people sometimes.

I confess that I want to be liked.

Swordsman3003 · Post by **Swordsman3003** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:54 pm

Leeloo wrote:
Lulujayne wrote:I confess that men who say, "I'm a lesbian trapped inside a mans body," generally annoy the feck out of me. Mostly because the majority of the men who I have seen and heard using this statement are in a bar (or similar hovel) and the said man is drooling into his beer and oogling some woman that would never touch him with a ten-foot pole. The said man is usually also obnoxiously hetro.
"Mostly"? How about someone like me? You probably saw the swimsuit pics. When I look in the mirror, most of the time I hate what I see. And I often think about how much easier things would have been if I was born a girl. I play MMORPGs with a female char, and use it as a way of relaxing, because then I don't need to role play - i.e. try to act like a man. But I am still interested in women, not men. I'm 30 years old and still a virgin, because I have no idea about all those things men do to get women interested. Almost all of my attempts end up with becoming friends instead of finding a girlfriend, a friendship that doesn't last long because she knows that I'm interested in something else.

"Lesbian trapped inside a mans body" seems to be a pretty good description. On the other hand, I'm not the kind of person who would actually SAY so in a bar (if you'd ever see me in one), because I'm afraid of the reaction if people found out about my big secret.

I don't know much about what girls like either...

Lictor · Post by **Lictor** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 3:11 pm

I confess that if it was within my power I would get rid of all religion/religious belief on this planet without a moments hesitation.

I confess that I have problems in finding a relationship. I can talk to women and have many female friends/accquaintences but I don't understand/get what is required/missing for me to be thought of as a potential boyfriend material. (ie. why am I turned down when I ask her out but she was all over a guy who uses her as a warm home for his dick and treats her like shit.) Although I try no to let it, I feel things like this has jaded my outlook on life somewhat.

I confess that, for last Halloween I dressed up as Hannibal Lecter to go to the fancy dress goth night at a local night club to try and pull.

I confess this worked.

I confess that I am a shameless football supporter (Soccer for our North American friends.)

BriHahn · Post by **BriHahn** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 3:21 pm

swordsman3003 wrote:I confess that the girl I said I didn't want to do anything with has kept bothering me and I don't think I can resist the female allure or whatever its called for much longer. So much for principles. I'm 100% sure she is using me...she said so herself. I don't know what to do. I'm not thinking straight.

Okay, she's using you... therefore it is okay to use her back. In other words, hell, lose your virginity, then never call the bitch again!

God I can be an evil bitch at times.... that's what I confess to.

Resident /B/tard · Post by **Resident /B/tard** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 3:42 pm

sexy_fork wrote: I confess that I just pigged out on a tootsie roll. yummy, but fat

A tootsie roll? Jesus, darlin', I just made myself a chocolate cake. Used a whole can of icing, too.

That'll be gone by Saturday.

Phillowe88 · Post by **Phillowe88** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 4:35 pm

Fnyunj · Post by **Fnyunj** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:41 pm

Thomas Jefferson wrote:"What do I care if my neighbor worships one god or one thousand gods? It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."

It's a good quote.
And my answer to that is - no, you're right. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.

Unless they decide they want to kill me because their god said so.

Or unless they decide to use their proselytization to build a political majority to ram a legislative agenda through that infringes on my rights.

I don't think the answer is to ban religion.

But I think a religion-proof Bill of Rights is probably necessary. Our Founding Fathers did a pretty good job, it's taken The Enemy over 200 years to erode it to the point it's at now.

But back to confessing.

I confess that I know that there is no proof that there is a God. And that I hold rational thought and logic in the highest order of respect. And that, nonetheless, I believe in Him anyway.

I am not ashamed to say that organized religion, and the scriptures they use as propaganda, are probably the worst evil our species has ever known. (I confess that I am not ashamed - am I ashamed that I'm not ashamed? No.)

I confess that every time I hear one of them spew hatred and bigotry, I laugh inside, because they're only defeating themselves.

Indigo Violent · Post by **Indigo Violent** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:06 pm

kingofthemorlocks wrote:
swordsman3003 wrote:I confess that I told a girl I wouldn't go out with her, and my only real reason is she believes in god.
I confess that my first thought upon reading that is, "Wow, Swordsie's a fucking bigot."

I confess that I wouldn't go out with someone who believes in God either. I respect a person's right to hold whatever damn fool notions they want; it doesn't mean I have to like those beliefs, or the person who holds them. It's no more bigotry than not wanting to date someone whose political beliefs infuriate you.

Reesa-chan · Post by **Reesa-chan** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:12 pm

I confess that confessing on here left me really depressed.

I confess that depression makes me stupid things.