THE RP THREAD!!! *sparkle sparkle*

[IronFox]

First, some ground rules:
1) You are only in control of your character. No-one else's.
2) assume semi-cartoon physics. a good rule of thumb would be that injury can be mostly avoided (or accrued) for the sake of comedy. that being said, death is not funny.
3) if there are any further questions, air them in the OOC thread, where they will be dissected, discussed, copied in triplicate, lost, found again, and quietly buried in a pasture. Same goes for character descriptions (outside of story-telling).

[Spacewolfomega]

It was a hot summer day. Thankfully there was a cool breeze which blew from time to time, making life a little more bearable under the heat. Pops wiped the sweat off of his forehead with one of the cleaner rags he had nearby. This was turning out to be much more difficult than he had expected. Of course, then again, he figured he should've known better than to agree to fix up Daisy after that last stunt Nip had pulled. Poor Tuck was practically in tears when he'd brought the ol' girl by.

As Pops stood there surveying his handiwork, contemplating what to repair next, Janine came walking in.

"Pops! Hey, Pops!" she called.

"Yeah?" he grumbled, trying to shake off his discontent at Daisy's condition.

"We got a Mark III Plasma Generator 'round the garage?"

"A whut?"

"I think that's what he said. A Mark III Plasma Generator... izzat a Korean part or som'in'?"

Pops scratched his head. "Shoot, Janine, I reckon' I ain't never heard of it. What's the feller drivin'?"

Janine put her hands on her hips and gestured her head towards the pumps. "Well, at the moment it looks like he's walkin'. Guess his car needs this generator thing to git runnin' agin'."

Pops walked toward the pumps. Leaning up against one of the pumps, talking to the other two "Pop's Girls" was a wolf dressed in what appeared to be an outfit right out of Top Gun. Pilot's jacket, t-shirt with dog-tag necklace, and some kind of flight pants. It wasn't really an ensemble Pops had ever seen before. He wondered if this guy was a test pilot or something.

His name was Omega. He was a traveller from beyond the stars, crashlanded on Earth some months ago, looking for a way to get back into space. He was one of the elite Spacewolves Corps, a sqaudron of... well... space-faring wolves that sought to preserve law and order through the galaxy.

But that seemed a long time ago and now here he was in some backwater town on a planet called Earth. Of course, being from a backwater town on his own homeworld, Omega began thinking, "Well, if I can't get home, at least this is probably as close as I can ever hope to get."

[Grumpywolfhound]

At about the same time in a little building along the main road near the food-y-mart, barely big enough not to be called a shed, a tired and grimey wolfhound is hauling in the last box of stuff to what could be very tenatively called an electronic repair workshop.

"I can't believe how little they wanted for this! Man, I am so looking forward to a nice quiet place like this." He said to no one in particular as he heavily panted from the work and heat. Reaching for a bottled water he continued "I would've had to pay an arm, leg and my first born for such a choice location back home! but that clerk did look at me funny when I asked when rush hour is around here."

He gave a small shrug as he got back to setting up shop, the only note worthy event for the rest of the day is the reverent way he hung an odd picture over the workbench. It was taken in a desert somewhere, with him, a wild eyed coyote, and a skunk all grinning like maniacs, in the background was a hangar with large pleasantly smiling skunk painted on the doors.

[The JAM]

[...unWARP!!!]

Good evening.


-----


A dark green twin-cab pick up truck with Mexican license plates, reasonably new, approached in the distance. The driver, a jaguar, looked as he entered a small town.

"I wonder if they have a gas station here?" he thought.


-----


¡Zacatepóngolas!

Until next time, remember:

I

AM

THE

J.A.M. (a.k.a. Numbuh i: "Just because I'm imaginary doesn't mean I don't exist")

Good evening.

[WARP!!!]

[IronFox]

Meanwhile, around five miles up the road, a beat up Chevy El Camino with California plates lies in a ditch at the side of the road, smoke pouring out from under the hood. A young red fox, dressed in green cargo pants, an embroidered tan collared shirt, and a WW2 Army jacket festooned with pockets and various patches, looks on shaking his head.

"Well, old girl, I guess this is good-bye"

He reaches into the back and pulls out a backpack and a locked handgun case. He stuffs the case into the backpack, shoulders the pack, and takes one last look at the car, now clearly on fire.

"so long"

He begins walking down the road. Nineteen seconds later, the El Camino explodes in a giant fireball, pitching parts in every direction. One Firestone tire rolls down the road after the young fox, finally coming to rest against a large handpainted sign that reads "Welcome to Malarky County"

[Earl McClaw]

Ahead of the red fox is a slowly trudging white tiger in a kilt, carrying a very old motorcycle across his back. Upon closer examination, the cycle can be identified as a much-repaired WWII-surplus vintage, appearing smaller only because the tiger is nearly seven feet tall.

(I'm so happy I have a good reason to offer the drawing I commissioned from Ralph back into a forum for one of his comics!)

[Fusion]

Meanwhile less than a mile from Pop's, a begal tiger is sitting on his porch leaning back in what looks like an old chair. His brows furrow in concentration as a screeching sound idicates he's powersliding around a corner in the ever populare game Mario Cart DS. This was his lucky race. He'd been trying more than an hour to win in one of the Nintendo WiFi tordiments and was now in the lead, if just barely. As he pulls ahead twards the finish line, the game freezes for a second before displaying a connection lost error. His shoulders slump a bit as a look of disapointment crosses his face, but he puts the DS away and takes a sip of the Root Beer sitting next to him. Suddenly an explostion echos across the valley causing him to jump slightly. He looks around half expecting to see Nip falling from the sky somewere. Smoke from up the road catches his eye. He jumps off the porch and lands next to an old 300cc Yamaha Dirt Bike. In a flash his helmet is on and he's roring up the road to see if Nip might need any help besides the kind that comes in white coats.

[Sebastis]

(Giggles ring out as a Sphynx comes spiraling through the air to land next to Space Wolf Omega)

What a Glorious place this is. It's so green here just like the Nile Delta! (She ripps the goggles from her eyes, grabs Space Wolf and hugs him with an almost bone crunching hug.)
Did you find the part we are needing? Oh by the way, I saw an explosion from down the road. Should some one do something about that? (She looks around at the people staring at her now folded wings.)
What? Do I have buggs in my hair again?

[Spacewolfomega]

Omega whips out his trusty laspistol and twirls it over his trigger finger. He utters a quick curse.

"Could be the Viledarians," he growls. "If they'd locked onto my distress beacon, they could've followed me here. C'mon, Sebastis... let's go check it out!"

Sebastis grabs Omega under the arms and swoops him up off the ground. In seconds they're airborne.

"I see smoke," Sebastis says, pointing. "Over there!"

"Roger," replies Omega, scanning the skies for "hostiles".

"Why do you insist on calling me 'Roger' when you have that gun pulled out?"

"Sorry," Omega replies. "Old habit."

His eyes scan the ground below. He sees a red fox walking away from a burning vehicle, completely destroyed. The fox is laden with equipment.

"What's going on?" Sebastis asks. "Is he in trouble?"

"Let's land and ask him," Omega suggests. "He's dressed like a soldier. Maybe he's local militia. Let's find out what attacked him."

Sebastis swoops down and lets go of Omega. He lands in front of the red fox, laspistol lowered.

"Are you alright?" Omega asks. "What's going on? Are you under attack?"

[Grumpywolfhound]

Grumpy had just put out some rebuilt TVs on display in the shop when a distant explosion rattles the pictures on the wall. After seeing the locals outside do no more than raise an eyebrow, shake their heads and go about their business, he figures it's safe to go investigate but he's very curious about the utter lack of public concern.

"great, just great. my doctor tells me to go to the countryside and enjoy the peace and quiet. My first day here and it sounds like I'm back uprange"

Locking up the shop, he heads out following the column of smoke. "Well, no time like the present to meet my new neighbors and see what the heck I've gotten myself into".

[IronFox]

As Seabastis and Omega drop from the sky, the young fox does a quick double take, muttering to himself "Well...now I've seen everything"

He clears his throat to cover up his astonishment.
"Um...no, not really. Well, yeah there was that time I busted up that Klan meeting about a hundred fifty miles that way" as he points back up the road, "but I managed to get away from them pretty well. Unfortunately, my car kinda broke down a little bit"
the car in question is now clearly a burning pile of wreckage. He shrugs "It was getting kinda beat up anyway"
he glances up the road a ways. "Well, don't look now, but I think I've garnered some attention here." he nods towards the dust cloud kicked up by the half dozen people approaching ground zero.
"While we're waiting, allow me to introduce myself. Just call me Mac. everyone back home does. " He puts a hand forward, a clear lead-in for a handshake.

[Fusion]

A dirt bike suddenly came buzzing along coming to a halt just a bit past them. In a wink the tiger had the engine and his helmet off and was standing beside the bike surveying the wreckage. Surprisingly his white t-shirt and faded carpenter's pants where relatively mud free.

Turning to them he asks, "You didn't happen to see Nip around here did-" notices Seabastis's wings for the first time, "WhoWhat?"

[Tbolt]

The old silver fox was as happy as he could be this morning, which in some ways said a lot. He had emigrated, fled actually, to the United States some time in the '70's from his native Serbia. Although he spoke “eenglish” decently enough, his speech still retained a slavic flavor. He stood roughly five feet tall and was covered in fine silver-grey fur. His bush of a tail, ears and nose were tipped in black, and his eyes were steel grey.

This morning would prove to be fun, for today he would get a chance to try out his new toy, a gleaming .46 magnum. The anticipation of massive recoil practically had the fox drooling on the small shooter's table he had set in his back yard. He looked over his choices of ammunition as he donned a black leather shooter's glove. The boxes proclaimed their intended purpose:

Target

“Snort!”

Dangerous game: Wild boar 300lbs and up, bear, buffalo, etc...

“Hmmm,”

Port authority bus

The corner of the fox's mouth began to twitch upward.

And the final box was labeled: Just what the heck DO you want to stop with a handgun anyways?

A large smile split the vulpine's face “Heh, heh, vouldn't you vant to know?” and he took five cartridges from the box.

He took careful aim at the paper he had set in a stand some 20 yards from his bench. Gently he eased the hammer back for a single action shot. The hammer locked in place with a clean positive click. Slowly, he applied pressure to the trigger until the universe shrank to only three things: the rear sight, the front sight, and the target.

The revolver roared in joy at the first round through its barrel. The lightweight fox was blasted off his bench to land in a furrow some five feet back. “Ohh, new record for factory ammunition, I have to remember this!” he chirped to himself happily. He poked his head up out of the trough to check the damage his toy had caused downrange. The paper target was still there, but off in the distance he could see a tree fall over on the hillock he used as a backstop. The vulpine smile grew even wider.

Then the explosion came to his ears and he could see the column of smoke rising in the distance, almost in direct line after the tree. The fox's ears collapsed and a look of horror replaced the smile on his muzzle.

“No, no, NO!” He quickly ran to his Humvee tossing the still smoking gun on to the passenger seat as he tore off in a beeline towards the column of smoke. “What is wrong with this place? In the old country ve had hills that could stop littl things like missiles and artillery!”

In a minute he crested the hill and could see the pile of burning wreckage by the road. He raced the vehicle down the hill and screeched to a halt about thirty feet from the forming group. Flinging open the door the fox bolted from the still idling vehicle and ran to the group.

“Iss everything alright, I vas over the hill when I... I... Oy!” The fox was momentarily speechless when he first saw the sphinx. He immediately swept the desert Khaki BDU cap from his head and bowed low. A little soil still trapped in his collar trickled to the ground as he spoke. “My name is Piotir Tchimir Gaspachem the Third, last of the Serbian Cossaks, at your service.”

[Sebastis]

[color=blue](Looks around at everyone)[/color] Ummm. Nice to meet you I am Sebastis and this is my Husband SpaceWolf. We saw the explosion like everyone else I'm guessing and came to see if everything was alright. Aparently it is. (Takes note of people staring at her.) I am guessing my kind are not seen often anymore? She has a look of concern on her face as she looks at her Husband.

[Spacewolfomega]

Omega glances at his wife with a shrug and twirls his laspitol before holstering it. "I'm not sure. I can just tell you that you're definitely one of a kind."

Sebastis blushes a bit and her wings flutter.

Omega extends his hand to Mac and they exchange a firm handshake.

"Glad to meet you, Mac," Omega says. "I'm Spacewolf Omega... please, just call me Omega. I'm the last of the Spacewolves... unfortunately... and I guess you and I are kinda in the same fix. My ship crashed and burned here a few months ago and I've been sort of wandering ever since."

As if in response to everyone staring at his wife's wings, Omega continues, gesturing to the lovely sphynx beside him.

"And this is my wife, Sebastis. She's from," Omega pauses, "well... it's hard to explain. I was in this sector when I picked up some kind of encrypted signal. Seems it was coming from a stasis chamber that had her inside it. I freed her and... well, I said it was hard to explain."

Sebastis shakes Mac's hand.

"Good to meet you, Mac!"

Omega then turns to the newest arrivals, having come in on their respective vehicles.

"Nice armored scout vehicle you've got there, um... Pechamere? Sorry, I'm not that good with Earth names, I guess."

Omega exchanges a handshake with Piotr and then turns his attention to the Bengal Tiger on the dirtbike. Meanwhile, Sebastis says to Piotr, "Please, you do not have to bow when addressing me. My father's kingdom has long since passed. I am simply Sebastis now."

"And I like the groundcycle you've got," Omega compliments as he and the tiger shake hands. "Does everyone on Earth travel this well-equipped? I'd been given to believe that Terrans were mostly unarmed and travelled in rather mundane transports."

While speaking, Omega takes notice of a rather tall white tiger carrying a motorcycle approaching the group.

"Um, is this guy a friend of anyone's? If he's part of the local militia, too, he must be the heavy weapons expert from the looks of him!"

[Fusion]

The bengal tiger turns around momentarily distracted by the new arrival.

"Oh? Hey! If you need that fixed, check out Pop's just ahead." Turning back to Omega, "Now where was I? Oh yey. My name is Benjeman, but call me Ben. As far as I can tell, most people around here have a gun. But then again, this place almost makes online comics look normal. Or where you talking about something else?"

[The JAM]

"Mexico, eh?" asked the old dog, looking at the truck's licence plates. "We don't see too many of those around here."

"You don't get much traffic around here?" asked the jaguar.

"Nope. We're your typical backwater--"

[BOOOM!!!!]

"--town."

"What the bleep was that????" the jaguar's tail suddenly turned into a chimney brush.

"Ah, that's probably ol' Nip Todd going fishing again. Don't mind him, he usually does his stints early in the morning."

"I take it that explosives are easy to come by in this town?"

"Well, I wouldn't know that. Nip's supplier doesn't show his face much around these parts. So, where are you headed?"

"Philadelphia. A few friends of mine recommended a convention this summer, and I thought I'd take a sight-seeing road trip."

"Well, your truck is filled up. Anything else we can help you with?"

"Actually, yes. This truck is supposed to be new, but the oil light started blinking a while back. Can you take a look at it?"

"My assistants will. HEY, ASSISTANTS!!"

"And as long as we're here, is there any place around where one can get some decent hot cakes and---"

Three females, a doe, a mouse, and a squirrel stauntered out from the garage.

"----------milk-----?" mewed the feline.

[IronFox]

Looks over at the smoldering wreckage of his car, back at the bengal tiger, and back at the car.
"Someone can fix that?!?
He scratches behind his head, somewhat nervously. "Umm...does anyone know of a place in town where I can stay until I get back on my paws?"

[Sharuuk]

The blast rattled the windows, vibrated the house and caused some of the equipment and glassware on shelves in the well appointed lab to rattle also. This got the attention of the large wolf seated at a table and peering intently at a readout on a computer screen.

"Now THAT didn't sound like anything the Todd boy has done." He mused to himself.

Stepping out onto the front balcony of the old hilltop mansion he spotted the column of smoke. Returning to the lab he seated himself in front of a huge screen and activated a series of controls on the console. High above in the little cupola above the top floor roof, panels opened to reveal a remote controlled, 48in, Schmidt-Cassegraine catadioptric astronomical telescope fitted with a high resolution, 3 ccd, live feed video camera.

As the image appeared and stabilized on the huge screen, trees, leaves, even single blades of grass came into sharp focus. At the turn of a knob, the image pulled back to reveal far more of a wide angled view. Zeroing in on the smoke colume by the road, he again brought the image much closer to reveal the burning remains of the vehicle, plus the unique ensemble of individuals at the scene.

As he scanned the group the 'scope suddenly put Sebastis' other-worldly appearance into stark focus.

"A Sphinx"??? A flying Sphinx???? His eyebrows climbed up his forehead and his opalescent eyes glowed with their own luminosity.

"Well....you are difinetely NOT from this neck of the woods are you......and I would surmise that the wolf beside you isn't either is he?"

He looked distantly at the monitor, brow furrowed, deep in thought as he lightly stroked the side of his long jaw with a finger.

"You two may be just the one's I'm looking for."

Tapping the tips of his long, black clawed fingers together, he leaned back in the high backed chair and grinned broadly........revealing a startling, if not downright frightening array of quite large, gleaming metallic teeth.

[Grumpywolfhound]

This unique group was continuing their introductions when a non-descript compact car stops on the side of the road short of the group, and a disheveled, 6 foot grey wolfhound unfolds himself from the car in a not-that-dignified manner and starts toward the group. He's in normal street clothes, but definetly looks like he's been doing some hard labor recently.

He doesn't stare or gawk, but he misses a step when he finally has a chance to take in the entire scene, alternating glances between the smoldering wreckage and the group as he approaches them.

Since the group seems to be loosely focused on a young fox in an army jacket, Grumpy asked him "Um, excuse me but that was quite a blast I heard, is anyone hurt?